Are the grandparents causing the lack of sleep?

[Mac2016]

Hey! I've been wracking my brains and I'm struggling with something

My DD (2 1/2) has never been a very good sleeper. I would go as far to say that it has been 3 years of night time torture but things have started to level out recently.

The thing is, the day that she spends with her grandparents is the night her sleep is at it's worst. She'll get up numerous times through the night and sometimes will start trying to play at 2am. The next day we're all utterly exhausted and dragging my body out of bed for work is no joke as I'm not a morning person at the best of times!

The rest of the week isn't too bad at all- she does a balance of nursery and days with me and my husband.

Her nap time with them is relatively the same and she adores being with them so we just can't work it out.

I want to tread super carefully and not offend them but am I being unreasonable for thinking that they're doing or NOT doing something that's affecting her sleep?

Is it possible she's not getting enough exercise when she's with them? My kids are like labradors and if they don't get enough exercise one day they go mental and then don't sleep well. Although on the other hand, my youngest also wakes up more at night if he's been overtired during the day. So who knows! Kids are weird and infuriatingly inconsistent 😅

My guess, her nap is much longer or she is allowed to doze off later in the day

I'd agree with the last message- do they let her sleep for ages because it gives them a break?

My little boy is 2 1/4 and is just about ready to give up his nap - only really needs 20 mins

She's either over-tired and over-stimulated (and therefore unable to sleep) or she's not getting enough exercise and doing too many sedentary activities.

They’re the grandparents. Honestly if you trust them enough to care for your DC you should be able to just say “hey DC has a really hard time sleeping sometimes, can you detail their naps with you for us please so we can see what is happening?”

if you can’t be frank with your child’s caregivers, that is worrying

Yeah we ask about her nap and she seems to have exactly the same as every other day.
The difficulty is that they are the only source of support we have, my family don't live close by.
I guess I'll just have to be more honest

She is probably so excited to be with them she is getting overly hyped up and then can’t sleep as her mind is racing. This should stop eventually, but perhaps ask them about nap times and maybe try to drop the nap?

What else are they doing with her during the day?

If she's not as active as usual she probably doesn't need her normal nap.

They don't give her tea or anything do they? Or different food to you? Or less exercise?

It's worth raising it (as tactfully as you can!)

Otherwise maybe it's because she's missed you in the day so wants to spend time with you at night (kind of sweet but very annoying!)

(btw the only thing that has helped my terribly sleeping 2.5yo is dropping the nap altogether)

Honestly, they are doing you a favour so I would say nothing as it's just one night a week that's affecting her. Very likely she will drop nap time quite soon.

She's at the age to drop the naps so could try that? Probably just not enough exerciss- what do they do with her?

My 4.5 yr old is like this with his grandparents. I put it down to too many treats and too much excitement.

However I know for definite that my parents don't remember times exactly. So we know by the video baby monitor what time they put our younger one down for a nap, its often up to 45 minutes later than they tell us

Sugar rush?