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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know how to help my mum

3 replies

DR91 · 01/03/2023 21:32

I will try to keep this as brief as possible but it may still be quite long.

My mum is basically having a mental breakdown (or something very similar). She’s been on antidepressants for a really really long time, she felt like they weren’t working any more and has been changed to new medication, this happened about 4 months ago.

She is currently absolutely a shadow of her former self. She hasn’t had great mental health for a while now, but I’d say she was definitely functioning and could live some resemblance of a normal life. The last few months she really has taken a nose dive, I feel like she’s barely recognisable as my mum. She has tried so many different kinds of therapies over the years but can’t seem to find one that helps her. She had an appointment last week with someone we were holding a lot of hope in and they basically sounded like they gaslit her issues and symptoms, and were really patronising.

She’s basically given up now and has been drinking and just laying in bed all day. I don’t know what to do, can I take on any medical responsibility for her if she allows it? She isn’t in the state of mind to fight for the care she needs, I feel really really hopeless. She’s single and lives alone, she rarely reaches out to me or my siblings so we have to be very proactive but it’s hard as I don’t think she actually really wants to see us.

OP posts:
BringItOn2023 · 01/03/2023 21:33

Bumping for you x

DevantMaJardin · 01/03/2023 21:37

Get her a new therapist and absolutely put in a complaint about the old one to any governing body they're a member of (if any).

I got bitten by a "therapist" who was a total fraud who also gaslit me into thinking I had something I didn't have and she was all-round awful, and there was no comeback and no one to stop her doing it to others because she was chair of the "ethics committee" of the governing body despite the fact she actually had not one single qualification in therapy, psychology or counselling and when I started digging I learned she was only calling herself a doctor due to a history PhD.

It takes a long time to get over an experience like that. If your mum is drinking that won't help. Would she go to alcoholics anonymous, do you think? It might be helpful for her to get out of the house to meetings with other people struggling with life, the universe and everything.

DevantMaJardin · 01/03/2023 21:38

Also press for social services (adult) to do a care assessment in case there's anything she could get that might help such as occupational therapy or a carer to take some pressure off you.

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