Husband search history - onlyfans/prostitute

[2oreosandmilk]

NC as this is embarrassing/upsetting.

I went to bed last night and my husbands phone was on my side in plain site. This is unusual and I know I was wrong but I looked..

his history showed he has been watching ‘adult’ content creators on tiktok (I can live with this) but then looking them up on OFs, insta etc.

he says he doesn’t have an OFs account and that once he’s looked at the preview page he got bored as he couldn’t access content.

he also searched ‘another word for prostitute’ and said this was because he was searching ‘prostitute’ on a porn site and nothing took his fancy so he wanted another search term. This is ringing alarm bells for me as surely that word brings up thousands of videos to choose from.

to be clear I’m not arsed about him watching standard porn, it’s the way he’s watching them on TikTok then following all their links to other content. It just feels so different to me. They’re not strangers in some cringey scene, they’re women he follows and watches their lives on TikTok and likes their videos etc.

Not sure if I’m over reacting. I have that horrible sick to my stomach feeling and felt on the verge of tears all day. Opinions?

(been together 8 years, 2 kids, I am recovering from ED and have gained weight, he has been supportive and says he’s still attracted to me, sex life generally okay).

@caringcarer i don’t think I could manage financially on my own even if I wanted to. I am recovering from an eating disorder and unable to work at the moment so he is the sole earner.

I don’t know what to do going forward. I’m struggling to be around him at all as it just pops into my head constantly.

Men's love of porn and w is why I left my husband and will never date another man as long as l live!! Why does your husband need to watch other men and women having sex? It's cheating imo, as soon as my back was turned he needed to log on and watch other men having sex with a woman. OF is a subscription service btw. Sex is intimate the most intimate act a man and woman have. It's sacred. It cheapens it, why do men need to look at hundreds of extra vaginas and dicks during their marriage......it disgusts me and has totally put me off them as none will be just happy having me as a sexual partner. Sorry but I'd have to leave

Also OP you can survive any marrital bump in the road as long as you have trust. When the trust has gone, you're in for a really unhappy life, you'll always be thinking "what's he up too" whenever you leave the house, whenever he leaves the house, when he goes out for the night, you'll question why you were not enough, during sex wondering if he's thinking about some other woman or sexual scenario.....it nearly destroyed me. I didn't even want to visit or say at my mum's because I knew he'd be watching other men and women having sex. You deserve better, sounds like you've been through your own worries and don't need this. Sending a virtual hug honey. xx

If you look at pornhub, some of the most popular searches are a bit grim ... mainly 'step' ... eg step dad and step daughter. So in other words ... big age gap, young (legal age) teen.

So it's obviously common.

Now whether you find that acceptable is another question!

As for the prostitute thing though - dunno tbh. It's a search term in its own right on pornhub and surely everyone knows what escorting is if they are actually searching for one? Is he a bit dim?

Have you asked him not to watch the content on OF and to unfollow the porn stars? What has he said about that?

I would definitely give him the benefit of the doubt as porn has quite quickly changed with OF, and the boundaries may not have been properly set or are blurry. Granted, I do think he has taken it further than is appropriate by following them and liking their videos but it sounds like he isn’t watching their actual OF videos. I would just explain how it makes you feel and ask him to keep it to the old fashioned internet porn.

I also wouldn’t worry about the prostitute thing, it just sounds like a fantasy thing to me unless you think he’s been contacting them on social media or something? People have fantasies that are nothing to do with what they would ever do in real life.