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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To turn this job down?

14 replies

prettyraindrops · 01/03/2023 16:13

I've been offered a job in the industry I used to work in before children by a lovely practise owner. He approached me, I did a few hours to get a feel for the place and then he offered the job. I have a 16 month old child so said thank you but I would need to find childcare, he said to touch base in a weeks time.
Childcare is either hard to get hold of, or expensive. I currently work weekends meaning I don't need childcare, but would need it for this job. It's a better job long term but financially I would be about £200 or more worse off per month on childcare alone, along with the fuel.

What should I say to him tonight when we speak? It's a great opportunity but it makes no sense at all at this stage in my life.

OP posts:

gwenneh · 01/03/2023 16:14

I should think the truth would be sufficient, “I appreciate the opportunity but childcare is not possible, so I won’t be able to accept.”

It burns no bridges, and leaves the door open for future conversations.

Original poster

prettyraindrops · 01/03/2023 16:16

@gwenneh That's true, thank you. I just feel so awkward and hate conversations like this. He was so complimentary too when he offered the job with feedback after my trial shift etc. If my daughter was older I would take it in a shot but as things are it's just not worth it.

OP posts:

iwannascream · 01/03/2023 16:18

I would be open and honest with him when he calls, he might just be willing to negotiate on the wage or offer a bonus to cover what you would be losing, it is certainly worth a try. Good employees are hard to get so go for it

BringItOn2023 · 01/03/2023 16:18

Ask him to pay you £200 a month more after tax

Original poster

prettyraindrops · 01/03/2023 16:21

It's paid hourly. It's 15 hours at £11.00ph. I'm currently on £10.40ph (with 12% on top each month for holidays) childcare is £47 a day but DH can do one of those days.

OP posts:

Kingoftheroad · 01/03/2023 16:23

I think you need to be honest with yourself first. By the sounds of things you don’t really want to take this job right now.

”thank you very much for your kind offer. I have given it a lot of thought and have decided that it’s just not the right time for me to be making any changes right now. However, please keep me in mind should anything arise in the future”.

gwenneh · 01/03/2023 16:28

prettyraindrops · 01/03/2023 16:21

It's paid hourly. It's 15 hours at £11.00ph. I'm currently on £10.40ph (with 12% on top each month for holidays) childcare is £47 a day but DH can do one of those days.

Still no harm in asking for the amount that makes the job worthwhile - and you can open that conversation with "sorry, but childcare makes it impossible."

You have a skill this person needs, so don't sell yourself short! Determine what would make the job possible, and ask for it. You might get it.

FawnFrenchieMum · 01/03/2023 16:30

Have you looked into whether you would get any help towards childcare costs? Also factor in the government tax free element of childcare. That reduces the cost by 20%.

Original poster

prettyraindrops · 01/03/2023 16:30

Very very true. If he could match what I come home with now ie as @BringItOn2023 said I would jump at it, as it's getting back into my career and giving me weekends with the children back without making it a struggle financially.

OP posts:

kljk78 · 01/03/2023 16:31

I wouldn't say it makes "no sense". If it's a better career choice over all it might be a case of short term pain for long term gain. Often with careers and young children you have to look at the bigger picture.

Heytheredaisy · 01/03/2023 16:33

Weekends with your family are worth it.

But also you'll skidaddle up the career ladder so fast.

I didn't choose my "perfect job" after maternity because the pay was less than childcare and its been my biggest regret. That decision set me back years!! I've found it really hard to get back into it at the level I left.

When I did get back into the sector - I had to start on the bottom rung at NMW. :(

Heytheredaisy · 01/03/2023 16:34

Short term pain, long term gain. Definitely!! Perfectly worded

Merangutan · 01/03/2023 16:35

I wouldn’t tell him that it’s not the right time for you or that childcare makes it impossible, simply because it seems that you can potentially sort the childcare but it will leave you £200 pm worse off given the offered rate of pay.

Instead, I’d say that the job really appeals but the additional childcare needed will mean that taking the role will actually cost you money, so unless the pay can be a little higher to offset that then you’ll regrettably need to pass for now. This at least opens up the opportunity for you to take the job and be on the same money or very close to it.

Original poster

prettyraindrops · 01/03/2023 22:26

Thank you all. The conversation was much easier than I thought it would be.

OP posts:

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