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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the GP receptionist should have asked, 'Are you ok'?

160 replies

shonapop · 01/03/2023 13:18

My mood has been slowly spiralling downwards. I've had many gentle suggestions from family that perhaps it's time to think about increasing my anti depressants.
I've been really putting it off, trying to fix myself with all the usual exercise, meditation, etc. Just getting worse.
Plucked up the courage to call the GP today, feeling like a total failure and on my way to rock bottom.
Told the receptionist 'I think I need to tweak my antidepressants' she said 'I can't get you a phonecall with a GP until next week ' that was it. Didn't ask if I was ok, was it an mental health emergency? Or even what direction was I wanting to tweak them.
What if it was someone AT rock bottom? Suicidal? Can't believe the lack of compassion.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 01/03/2023 15:24

katseyes7 · 01/03/2023 15:22

GoodChat I'm fine now, thank you for asking. I talked to a good friend that day and they were very supportive.
I'm very angry when l think about it now, though. I couldn't have made things more clear, but was summarily dismissed.
My mother took her own life when she was 83. Also with a history of depression going back to when she was 17.

I'm so glad you're doing better and you had someone to lean on.

I'm sorry about your mom - that sounds awful for you both.

Did you make a complaint? I don't know how long ago it was but it might be worth doing if it was relatively recent, even if it just means one other person gets better direction.

Scr3wed · 01/03/2023 15:25

What if it was someone AT rock bottom? Suicidal? Can't believe the lack of compassion.

You don’t get any help even then. You get a referral to someone who refers you on to someone else, who the refers you on to someone else, who then tells you there’s a 9 month waiting list, by which time you’ve already attempted to kill yourself once …

InstagramBitchWife · 01/03/2023 15:26

Sorry op, but YABU I'm afraid.

I also struggle hugely with my MH and am on medication.

But she's probably got 35 people on hold waiting to get through, she can't ask everyone how they are. Everybody who calls is unwell, and tweaking of antidepressants would not be considered an emergency, it's rather a business as usual thing. That probably happens 20 times a week.

Their job is to book appointments. Perhaps you could look into finding a counsellor local to you for talking therapy?

GoodChat · 01/03/2023 15:28

Scr3wed · 01/03/2023 15:25

What if it was someone AT rock bottom? Suicidal? Can't believe the lack of compassion.

You don’t get any help even then. You get a referral to someone who refers you on to someone else, who the refers you on to someone else, who then tells you there’s a 9 month waiting list, by which time you’ve already attempted to kill yourself once …

This is so true. Last year I was this person. I got some meds and a psychiatric referral. I then had an assessment and was told I was being referred to a specialist team who could offer me more relevant support. They sent a letter saying I was being referred to group therapy in September and I've heard nothing since.

Luckily the meds have helped somewhat but I really could have done with some professional support 6 months ago.

Moonicorn · 01/03/2023 15:28

YABU, massively so. Even if she’d asked and you’d replied ‘no’ theme what? A phone counselling session?

Moonicorn · 01/03/2023 15:28

*then what

EmilyGilmoresSass · 01/03/2023 15:28

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GoodChat · 01/03/2023 15:30

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Imagine being this much of a dick to someone who's struggling with their mental health... wow...

A&E won't offer any better support than a GP. It's not the place for a mental health crisis.

Moonicorn · 01/03/2023 15:31

GoodChat · 01/03/2023 15:30

Imagine being this much of a dick to someone who's struggling with their mental health... wow...

A&E won't offer any better support than a GP. It's not the place for a mental health crisis.

Show quote history

It is actually, that’s where you get sent if you have an acute MH crisis.

GoodChat · 01/03/2023 15:33

@Moonicorn yeah maybe I mis-worded that - it's not where you take yourself for a medication review when the GP can't give you an appointment.

"If you were that bad you'd be in A&E" is a stupid comment.

JemimaTiggywinkles · 01/03/2023 15:34

I think YANBU at all. For a great many people in mental health crisis even finding the strength to actually call the GP requires all of their resources. If GP receptionists aren't able to ask the right questions to ensure proper triage, then every patient should be speaking to a doctor. Particularly those with MH conditions, who (by definition) are unlikely to be thinking clearly.

Moonicorn · 01/03/2023 15:34

But OP didn’t say anything to indicate a crisis. She said she needed to ‘tweak her meds’.

katseyes7 · 01/03/2023 15:35

GoodChat I didn't, actually. I moved house (and GP surgery) soon after, it was a few years ago now.
However, a week before my mother died, l asked for a doctor to see her as l knew she wasn't 'right' - l lived 100 miles away at the time.
Doctor rang me the next day after he'd seen her (I was at work and couldn't be there) and said she was 'a bit depressed'. She refused counselling and medication, and refused to talk to me - when l rang her she'd say she 'couldn't talk' and put the phone down.
I think she was determined, it was two weeks after my dad's anniversary, and three weeks to the day before Christmas. I don't think anyone could have done anything, she refused all offers of help.

Moonicorn · 01/03/2023 15:36

GoodChat · 01/03/2023 15:33

@Moonicorn yeah maybe I mis-worded that - it's not where you take yourself for a medication review when the GP can't give you an appointment.

"If you were that bad you'd be in A&E" is a stupid comment.

Well yes I agree.

The problem is there is an absolute avalanche of people presenting at GP for mental health problems, anxiety, depression, autism, ADHD assessment. It’s rocketed up in just a few short years and the system, unsurprisingly, cannot cope with it all.

GoodChat · 01/03/2023 15:36

katseyes7 · 01/03/2023 15:35

GoodChat I didn't, actually. I moved house (and GP surgery) soon after, it was a few years ago now.
However, a week before my mother died, l asked for a doctor to see her as l knew she wasn't 'right' - l lived 100 miles away at the time.
Doctor rang me the next day after he'd seen her (I was at work and couldn't be there) and said she was 'a bit depressed'. She refused counselling and medication, and refused to talk to me - when l rang her she'd say she 'couldn't talk' and put the phone down.
I think she was determined, it was two weeks after my dad's anniversary, and three weeks to the day before Christmas. I don't think anyone could have done anything, she refused all offers of help.

It's an impossible situation when somebody's reached that point isn't it. Your poor mom Flowers

GoodChat · 01/03/2023 15:37

Oh I agree wholeheartedly @Moonicorn - it's just not what the GP system was set up for unfortunately, and the mental health services aren't fit for this level of need either

Allgreen · 01/03/2023 15:38

Allgreen · 01/03/2023 15:01

Asking questions about psychiatric meds is a bit different to asking about physical ailments. It's a far more private subject, so I can see why the GP was cautious in response to something as general and casual as "I think I need to tweak my antidepressants". Psychiatric meds almost always need tweaking/mild adjusting, I certainly wouldn't want to be given the 3rd degree over that by a receptionist.

If you had said it was urgent or a mental health emergency, I think the outcome would likely have been different.

Just wanted to say this is based on my personal experience on lots of different psychiatric meds at different times, and have family in the same boat. I would have monthly/regular follow-ups and then we would tweak it a little up or down, even if I had already been stable for ages. Psych med dosages are almost always tweaked, even over the long-term.

I definitely acknowledge there's a huge issue with strained NHS services, and MH emergencies should always be flagged. But even in normal times, I think I'd be perturbed if the receptionist interrogated me over routine tweaks.

Floralnomad · 01/03/2023 15:39

If you think it’s urgent then you should have said that , I should imagine they get people calling up quite regularly saying I need my anti depressants tweaked - that sounds like a very routine , mundane occurrence not a medical emergency or a suicidal person . Ring back now @shonapop and access the help you need , don’t play it down .

Tanuki88 · 01/03/2023 15:41

The GP receptionists try and make calls as brief and to the point as possible as they are trying to speak and help as many people as they can during their hours. Of course it would be ideal if they could spend as much time on the phone with each patient as needed - even more so with GPs - but they are greatly outnumbered by patients and demand and that is the sad reality of the NHS.

I know when someone asks me how I feel I always think "how long do you have" 😬😅

I hope your antidepressants get sorted.

ReneBumsWombats · 01/03/2023 15:42

I would have thought that the mention of anti depressants should be something that would make her ears perk up.

If you know you want to get her attention for this, you need to communicate it clearly. Don't rely on coded phrases. You know what you're looking for, so don't be coy. Just be open and then she'll know the situation.

changeit221 · 01/03/2023 15:44

I'm a GP receptionist. I'm going to disagree with the majority here and say that you're right - she should have questioned you more.

For mental health issues we try to give people an appointment the same day where I work.

I would have enquired further into your mental health and asked if it was urgent or something that could wait.

MeridianB · 01/03/2023 15:48

I wouldn't be relying on a GP receptionist for this. Do you have a walk-in centre you could visit today?

ScreamingInfidelities · 01/03/2023 15:54

shonapop · 01/03/2023 13:46

Thankyou all.
I just feel I usually get interrogated when I call and the one time someone might need a bit more time there's nothing. I'm going to be ok but what about the next person who calls that isn't?

That’s not the receptionists’ responsibility.

dawngreen · 01/03/2023 15:55

When people are trying to carry on in a normal way, they don't always talk like they are having a total meltdown. I agree with @changeit221 .

ladykale · 01/03/2023 15:56

shonapop · 01/03/2023 13:18

My mood has been slowly spiralling downwards. I've had many gentle suggestions from family that perhaps it's time to think about increasing my anti depressants.
I've been really putting it off, trying to fix myself with all the usual exercise, meditation, etc. Just getting worse.
Plucked up the courage to call the GP today, feeling like a total failure and on my way to rock bottom.
Told the receptionist 'I think I need to tweak my antidepressants' she said 'I can't get you a phonecall with a GP until next week ' that was it. Didn't ask if I was ok, was it an mental health emergency? Or even what direction was I wanting to tweak them.
What if it was someone AT rock bottom? Suicidal? Can't believe the lack of compassion.

She's a receptionist not a therapist, consellor or doctor.

Get a grip!

Tweaking antidepressants is low on the list of highly urgent things people call about