DH & I have a DC3 and a puppy. No family support whatsoever. DC in nursery 4 full days per week (7.45am-5pm).
I work 4 days, but with one shorter day WFH which allows me to get the housework etc sorted.
DH works 5 days FT and is also studying a professional qualification alongside this. He travels as part of his work, away roughly 4 nights a month at random.
DC is knackered by the time they come in from nursery, so has a quick dinner then to bed for 6.30pm, so we don't see them much in the evenings. DC also has a recurring medical issue meaning lots of GP/specialist appointments and time off nursery, with nobody else to watch them.
I do all laundry, all cooking and majority of the cleaning. He'll occasionally put away a washing or hang one up on the weekend. We split things like one person doing bedtime, the other sorts the dogs dinner, walks her and does dishes. I do pretty much all the GP appointments, vet appointments for the puppy etc.
DH and I have same level roles (management), we earn the same amount despite me doing less hours as I was further on in my career pre-DC. We're comfortable financially.
On a normal day, DH is supportive of this setup and encourages it. But anytime we argue, he trots out the "well when you work full time again, you've never had to work full time since having DC" etc. We've been over it so many times I don't know how we can move past it! If I worked full time, he'd need to start doing a shed load more than he does, but he doesn't see how good he has it.
If there's a night he's on pickup and I'm a bit later in due to traffic, he'll moan there's nothing ready for DC dinner. There's a homemade pasta sauce in the fridge, he just needs to boil some pasta and chuck it on, but apparently that's too much to ask of him.
Aibu not to return FT?