Can't believe I am starting an AIBU thread !

[FoghornLeghorn]

But DH has mightily pissed me off this morning !!

He has been off work since 31st Jan he was laid off and has been looking for more work - he has now been off work for over a week yet I have got up with DD's every morning apart from Friday when I was ill in bed with a D&V bug all day, yesterday I let DH lie in and I got up with DD's even though I still didn't feel 100%, yet this morning when DD2 started whinging he magically feigns a headache, grunts and groans so at 6.45 this morning I am up once again with the DD's while he stayed in bed.

So far maybe IABU but ..... I am pregnant, don't feel 100% due to this bug I had and am going back to work tomorrow (full time) for the first time in 18 months as we can't find work for DH and this is the only way we can survive financially.
Wouldn't have killed him to let me have one last lie in would it, considering until 11 days before my due I am now going to be working full time and he is going to be SAHD ??

Oh BTW, he's now at the gym as he didn't get to go Friday as he had the girls all day

Have you told him how you feel?

YANBU he should be doing his fair share.

YANBU. Go to bed. There is no way he should still be wallowing now!

I joke before I went to bed last night and said "oh don't forget to bring your phone up, you'll need to know what time it is when the girls wake up" and he just laughed. When he started this morning I just lay there pretending to be asleep for a while but he clearly had no intention of getting up and I couldn't be arsed with a row over it so I just got up.
He was brilliant Friday, cleaned the whole house from top to bottom, I stayed in bed, he did the school runs, shopping etc but he keeps going on about it as if it's something spectacular no-one has ever done before.

Stupid I know but I need to show him things like how to seperate the washing, what cycles they go on, how to use to cooker etc etc as I do everything house orientated but now he's at the gym and I'm doing the washing so come tomorrow when I'm at work he wont know what he's doing !

YOU ARE NOT BEING UNREASONABLE

yes men need constant admiration and praise when they do "women's work"

So you haven't told him how you feel?

You need to, and that doesn't mean arguing, just tell him your feelings.

Is he feeling low about losing his job?

sorry to hear you are feeling so rough and YANBU at all I would be pretty upset and would say something to him. Perhaps you have a rest this afternoon whilst he looks after your dd, then you can take yourself up to bed with a good book, dvd, cup of coffee and chocs

Hecate - I've told him how I'm feeling about starting work, I've told him I'm feeling nervous because I haven't done it for 18 months, Im nervous about working with people I don't know, I'm sad about leaving my girls (I know they'll be with their dad but they wont be with me), I worried about how hard I will find it, Im worried about how tiring I will find everything ....... It's quite an ongoing list.
DH is in 2 minds about his job - he feels embarrassed that I am going back to work and being the breadwinner, he finds it embarrassing from his POV and also wonders what others will think. He is looking forward to spending time with DD's though and being more hands on.

As far as physically feeling, I feel fine now 100% but just would've really appreciated a lie in.

Have you told him straight out that you need him to do X, Y, Z (specific thing) because.....

Did you say "I really would have appreciated a lie-in on my last day before going back to work"

Because, well, many men are a bit dense (in the nicest possible way ) and you really do have to spell these things out. It's not that they don't care, just that, for some reason, such things that seem obvious to us, don't seem to occur to them.

I told him those exact words last night Hecate and his response was "Are you joking ? It's your last day to get up with the DD's and you want to lie in bed"
We were talking in a jokey manner, hence why he didn't get a fat lip after saying that !
Maybe he did think I was joking about him getting up but I doubt it, he's feigned these aches and pains on several occasions when it's my turn to lie in

Ok, then I'm done being charitable and he just needs a poker up the arse

Seriously, challenge him in a straight faced, serious toned manner, so that you remove all is she/isn't she joking doubt. Set out exactly what you need.

Or, like I say.......poker......

Full sympathies here - things must be hard for you now and I hope you feel 100% soon ..

However, perhaps your husband isn't 100% himself - redundancy is a big thing and perhaps he needs a bit of understanding there too...

Hope it gets better ... don't fight with him, but perhaps speak to him candidly about what you expect from him to help you get back into work...

You need to tell him quite clearly that his behavior is selfish, and that he is taking advantage of your kind nature. If he is well enough to go to the gym he is well enough to get up when he needs to instead of when he wants to. We all get tired and miserable sometimes - it's not excuse for leaning too hard on your sick, pregnant wife!