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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would this get on your nerves?

18 replies

Notmyname2 · 28/02/2023 18:44

Name changed for this. I have a friend early 30s with 5 kids all a few years apart. Her choice I’m not judging that at all. The thing that bothers me is that she’s obsessed with her SM appearance and most of it seems blatant nonsense. She’s always writing statuses about bieng self sufficient single parent “working” working at what?? She even posts memes about being a career woman and all this bollocks but what she appears to do all day is film tik toks with her doing god knows what with kids milling around in the background. She even films herself comforting her crying baby with captions like “just got to do what I have to do for my babies #working mum #mum of 5” filming that much is weird.

don’t get me wrong as she definitely works hard at bieng a good mum but that’s impressive enough. Why feel the need to lie about having to juggle work and 5 kids when your job from what I can see is non existent? I actually am a single working parent who has to do this so it’s really annoying. I don’t want to unfriend her because we were childhood friends since we were about 7 though we drifted as we grew older. She’s generally a nice woman.

OP posts:
Notmyname2 · 28/02/2023 18:46

Oh and another question is why no one calls her out on it? They must know she doesn’t have a job.

OP posts:
macbooks · 28/02/2023 18:47

Honestly no not really

let’s be honest, there is a stigma attached to being an unemployed single mum of 5. She probably doesn’t want people to judge her for that on social media so she’s created a bit of an online persona. You only have to read the threads on here about benefit claimants to get an idea of the comments your friend may have received before.

thegirlyupnorth · 28/02/2023 18:47

Comment next time and say. Congratulations what job have you got?

macbooks · 28/02/2023 18:48

Also it sounds like she’s trying to be a social media influencer if she’s constantly filming content for TikTok. Some influencers are well paid, although it’s a saturated market

MojoMoon · 28/02/2023 18:50

No one has called her out because no one else really cares about what she is posting

Social media isn't real. Her postings about her life - exaggerated or embellished as they may be - have no impact on your life, how hard you need to work, your children's future, etc.
It really is not important and most people know that.

It sounds like you don't like her so why pretend to be friends just because you've known her a long time. You can mute her if you don't want entirely remove her

BagOfBollocks · 28/02/2023 18:50

I don’t want to unfriend her because we were childhood friends since we were about 7 though we drifted as we grew older.

Haha! And because you can't see what she's up to and then bitch about her 😂

Just unfriend her. If she moans tell her it's only SM. If she gets shitty about that and ends the friendship that's her choice.

FictionalCharacter · 28/02/2023 18:51

If she’s actually lying and saying she has a job when she doesn’t, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. Then again I wouldn’t watch her TikTok and other SM crap.

Notmyname2 · 28/02/2023 18:52

@macbooks i suppose could be stigma although she isn’t shy in coming forward and defending herself and also she appears to mix around people who are like her. I’m sure being outed as a fraud would be worse for her? Why be so brazen?

OP posts:
Orangeis · 28/02/2023 18:57

Definitely ask on her SM what job she's got, congratulate her!

Notmyname2 · 28/02/2023 18:57

@MojoMoon thats the thing though I do actually like her. I could never be a mum of 5. And she is a good mum.. if a bit self absorbed.

OP posts:
Maybebabyno2 · 28/02/2023 19:03

She's probably getting some sponsorship or being paid for views on tiktok. Lots of people seem to be going over to social media as a full time job now. Most earn more than me in my 9-5. I wish I was interesting enough to be one!

OnlyFannys · 28/02/2023 19:07

She probably considers the tik toks as "working" if she is trying to be an influencer. As a single parent working full time I would also roll my eyes

Notmyname2 · 28/02/2023 19:09

OnlyFannys · 28/02/2023 19:07

She probably considers the tik toks as "working" if she is trying to be an influencer. As a single parent working full time I would also roll my eyes

@OnlyFannys love the name! 😂

OP posts:
Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 28/02/2023 19:09

Just 'hide' her and focus on your real life friendship with her. Is the job she's referring to actually her SM posts though?

Luredbyapomegranate · 28/02/2023 19:10

You don’t seem to like her, so just remove yourself.

She’s probably technically got some side hustle, but honestly OP, why do you care?

Notmyname2 · 28/02/2023 19:12

@Maybebabyno2 she doesn’t have enough of a following I don’t think- but if she is then it’s kind of worse as she’s on benefits too.. highly doubt she is declaring anything.

OP posts:
missally · 28/02/2023 19:18

Is she in a pyramid scheme? Or "network marketing"?

LassoOfTruth · 28/02/2023 19:19

I can see why the likes of this would get on your nerves to be sure, but if this were my friend I’d have concerns for her mental wellbeing. That much attention-seeking and self-delusion isn’t healthy imo

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