Taking 15 month old to family celebration

[Emtaboo]

Hi
I’m interested to hear opinions on this please? We have a toddler old and newborn. My brother has a big birthday celebration in a local hotel. We don’t have lots of childcare options and most of them will be in this party. My PIL will probably be happy to look after one but not both. My DP saying he can’t go without even exploring any babysitting options. He gets on well with my brother. I’m sure I can find a friend to babysit for a couple of hours. My brother is very good to us, and one of the few people who actually help us in lots of ways, and I know he’d be upset if my DP didn’t even turn up for an hour. AIBU to suggest our toddler comes with us but we leave around 9 clock. DP is saying it’s passed her bedtime but this is a one off ! PS it won’t be a wild, rowdy party. There’s a DJ but it’s a private room in a hotel and our toddler is well used to crowds and noise/ music.
Any suggestions or advice please? I just feel my DP may not want to go for some reason (he doesn’t like parties for himself) but I think he needs to make an effort for mine/ my brother’s sake.

First thing - are children invited to the party?

can your husband not leave with the children 6/7pm so ready for bedtime?

but I see no issue with him staying with the children while you go along.

It really depends on the type of party/guests. If it is a ‘grown up’ event and many others guests have got childcare for their kids, it might be irksome to have a toddler wandering around.

I would just ask your brother what he thinks (without putting him on the spot too much).

Something to bear in mind, re the noise. Sometimes the DJ in a small venue can be extremely loud, so although toddler used to music, it could be super loud as my cousins recent party was. Just something to consider.

As it's a family party i would show face with 1 or both kids and then let dp take them home and put them to bed that way you gey to enjoy the celebrations with your family. I would have no issue personally with the older one staying up late for a special occasion if you do get a sitter for the baby.

As its your family I would presume DP perhaps would be left to chase around after and look after whichever child you take which would not be much fun for him and its not like the child is 5 and can be left to run round with cousins while you watch from a distance, at that age he will need to be helicoptered/carried everywhere. I'd certainly look at the option of leaving the children home with DP if that's what he wants.

Although saying all that both my children would happily go out later and sleep in the pushchair and easily transfer to the car and bed without waking so is that not an option for you?

You don't both need to leave at nine! Only one has to look after the kids at that time.