Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Childminder

14 replies

fatface001 · 28/02/2023 11:41

My daughter's childminder looked after her 5 days before Christmas when she had tested positive for covid. She didn't tell me that she had Covid and I only found out because she let it slip in conversation in January. If the shoe had been on the other foot and my DD had Covid, I would have told her and still paid her for the session. I didn't raise it with her at the time but instead found new childcare, my DD was unhappy going there and there had been other issues, for example I was paying £2.50 for her to have dinner which over the last few months has been a jam sandwich each session. So it was an easy decision to change her childcare, I was required to give half a terms notice, which I did before half term.

Last week I received quite a rude text from the childminder, my DD was unwell and off school that day and I messaged the childminder to tell her that she wouldn't need to collect her from school. Admittedly, I sent the message 45 mins before school collection, but the childminder was picking up other children from the same class and so it really wasn't an inconvenience.
She replied saying a 'bit more notice might have been polite’ - no mention of
'hope DD feels better soon' etc. I still needed to pay her in full for the session which I did without question.

I've decided not to send my DD to her again, I don't trust this woman not to make unkind comments to her, but I need to advise her of our plans. I will undoubtedly see her in the future as she collects children from my DD school
everyday and I don't want to feel uncomfortable or on edge on the school run. I don't know how to approach it without creating an issue. WWYD in this situation?

I should pay he for the notice period because that is in the contract, but feel like she has breached my trust.

OP posts:
Maybebabyno2 · 28/02/2023 11:54

If you've already given notice, I'd just tell her you'll pay your required time but dd won't be attending anymore as you no longer require her services. No need to go into reasons why, just keep it all light and breezy. Say hi and smile when you see her, it will all be okay.

Sirzy · 28/02/2023 11:58

If you dont want to send her back just pay for the notice period and say she won’t be needed.

but I can see why only getting 45 minutes notice at the end of the day would piss her off!

drpet49 · 28/02/2023 12:03

Sirzy · 28/02/2023 11:58

If you dont want to send her back just pay for the notice period and say she won’t be needed.

but I can see why only getting 45 minutes notice at the end of the day would piss her off!

Why? She would have been making the journey anyway to pick up other kids. Makes no difference.

Ceryneianhind · 28/02/2023 12:06

Sirzy · 28/02/2023 11:58

If you dont want to send her back just pay for the notice period and say she won’t be needed.

but I can see why only getting 45 minutes notice at the end of the day would piss her off!

but I can see why only getting 45 minutes notice at the end of the day would piss her off!

Why though? she was going there anyway

Sirzy · 28/02/2023 12:07

drpet49 · 28/02/2023 12:03

Why? She would have been making the journey anyway to pick up other kids. Makes no difference.

Well for a start manners!

Crazycrazylady · 28/02/2023 12:07

Honestly it sounds like you are using the covid thing to try and avoid paying the notice .
I'd just ring her and tell her that you've found someone nearer /cheaper etc and you will pay her the notice period and let that be the end of it.

Ceryneianhind · 28/02/2023 12:09

Sirzy · 28/02/2023 12:07

Well for a start manners!

Manners?

Sirzy · 28/02/2023 12:10

Ceryneianhind · 28/02/2023 12:09

Manners?

Yes I’m not sure what about the idea of manners is confusing!

if you need to cancel a service then manners say give as much notice as possible not wait until the last second!

Ceryneianhind · 28/02/2023 12:10

45 minutes is not the last second

Cornelious2011 · 28/02/2023 12:15

I think you should've given more notice if your child was off school the whole day. For all you know the other children who she usually picks up could've been sick too so she might have done something different that PM if she knew she also didn't have to pick up your dc. Her response to you was rude though.

fatface001 · 28/02/2023 18:30

I'm holding my hands up that I only sent the messages 45 mins before school pick up, it was one of those day - had been up all night with DD who had a sickness bug, juggling work and looking after DD. Even if the childminder was annoyed she still had 40 mins notice before she had to leave the house to collect DD and other children. and I think her response was very rude.

I'm not trying to avoid paying the notice period, it is a contract and I will honour it. I'm trying to work out what to say to her....

OP posts:
MrsBunnyEars · 28/02/2023 18:34

I don’t think you need to say anything much - ’ a change in circumstances means that we won’t need your help from now on, but we will of course pay you up to X date’.

Don’t bring up either incident. The covid thing was ages ago. And while the abrupt text from her isn’t great, as you acknowledge your communication wasn’t either. Mentioning either would look petty.

Skinnydecafflatte · 28/02/2023 18:44

Playing devils advocate here but as an ex childminder each pickup/drop off usually involved juggling different car seat combinations. Also I would have prepared dinner in advance and an after school snack.

Also the written word is easier to misinterpret. She probably fired it off in a rush and vented her frustration without really thinking. She probably was having a stressful day and didn’t give the message much thought.

If you are going to end with her after just one thing then pay the notice period and be polite. Id be careful swapping childminders too often. Word will get around and you might find yourself without any childcare.

User3456 · 28/02/2023 18:58

Maybebabyno2 · 28/02/2023 11:54

If you've already given notice, I'd just tell her you'll pay your required time but dd won't be attending anymore as you no longer require her services. No need to go into reasons why, just keep it all light and breezy. Say hi and smile when you see her, it will all be okay.

Do this. Bright and breezy, no need to say why and if you're paying the full notice period as agreed she's got no reason to be grumpy. If she says anything about the 45 mins notice be super apologetic and move the conversation on.

If you do feel pressured into saying a reason, just say work circumstances have changed temporarily and you're made up as you can do pick ups for a bit, or you want to get her settled with her new childcare asap/don't want to lose the place as it suits better (be vague and bright and breezy and move the conversation on again).

I wouldn't want to continue with her either, I think you're doing the right thing.

Good luck!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread