Page 2 | To think cheating isn't as bad when there are no children and you don't even live together..

EmilyGilmoresSass · 28/02/2023 09:17

Well it's not wrong if you're an absolute arsehole with no morals. The rest of us find it disgusting.

CharmedUndead · 28/02/2023 09:21

It's a shitty thing to do no matter the personal situation of those involved. Betrayal, heartbreak, and potentially exposure to STDs.

TangledUpInDreams · 28/02/2023 09:23

As pp have said, the fallout may not be as wide ranging or serious but it will still be devastating for the betrayed party.

KimberleyClark · 28/02/2023 09:26

If I found out my DH of 33 years cheated on me I don’t think the uppermost thought in my mind would be “well at least we haven’t got any kids”. Sheesh.

ibunofit · 28/02/2023 09:30

AnnoyedFromSlough · 28/02/2023 09:10

My guess is that op either

a) has a friend that has been cheated on, but op thinks their situation is worse because op was married with children, and thinks the friend should pull her/him/themself together

or

b) has cheated on someone and thinks they are getting way too much flack for it considering they are childfree and don't live together

her/he/ themself

You missed out zer/ Zie/ zerself and xe/xer/xerself and bun/ bunself and…,

I mean c’mon, if you are going to be publicly proud about how on the ball and inclusive you are, you could at least make an effort to include everyone.

purpledalmation · 28/02/2023 09:33

It hurts just as much emotionally but not as much financially or if there are children involved.

Jaffacakesarenotabiscuit · 28/02/2023 09:36

Yeah never mind the emotional pain and long term damage you cause to the other person though eh?!

FourTeaFallOut · 28/02/2023 09:37

Logistically, it's less messy. Honestly, I don't think it demonstrates good character but I don't think it's as serious.

Butchyrestingface · 28/02/2023 09:40

Gallact · 28/02/2023 08:09

AIBU?

Have you been a Cheaty McCheatface, OP?

OR

You have kids and your husband cheated on you and you think your pain is so much more painful than a friend who has no kids?

JenniferBarkley · 28/02/2023 09:44

TheGoogleMum · 28/02/2023 08:16

Maybe less bad but doesn't make it forgivable

Absolutely this.

I do think it's worse to play with children's lives or break marriage vows or financially fuck someone over because you have a joint mortgage.

But regardless, a morally repugnant thing to do.

Emptycrackedcup · 28/02/2023 09:57

Easier in terms of logistics, but not worse or easier in terms of hurt. It's a bit weird to compare tbh, and mean if someone is trying to do this 🤨

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/02/2023 09:58

Why be with someone at all if you feel the need to sleep with other people? Shitty thing to do to someone.

Dontfeedtheseagulls · 28/02/2023 10:07

I think you make a fair point because it's about the level of commitment.

If someone has made a commitment to bear and raise children and live with someone integrating them fully into their lives then the act of cheating on them is a much bigger degree of betrayal with many more financial, emotional and practical consequences...it's more than a broken heart.

Anonymoususer456 · 28/02/2023 10:10

I think yes it is still bad, you’re still going behind someone’s back and hurting their feelings, there’s obviously lack of respect and decency. What’s the point of “being with someone” if you don’t want to.

Tiredalwaystired · 28/02/2023 10:11

Dontfeedtheseagulls · 28/02/2023 10:07

I think you make a fair point because it's about the level of commitment.

If someone has made a commitment to bear and raise children and live with someone integrating them fully into their lives then the act of cheating on them is a much bigger degree of betrayal with many more financial, emotional and practical consequences...it's more than a broken heart.

Infertile couples can equally be committed. Having a child isn’t what seals commitment.

Sarain · 28/02/2023 10:19

It's far worse to have an affair if children are involved. For a start more people are affected and the course of their lives changed without their input. You can't get away from someone you have children with as you need to coparent. The cheated on spouse doesn't have the same opportunity to have a clean break and move on. Agreeing to raise children together is definitely a deeper commitment than a marriage alone.

OrlandointheWilderness · 28/02/2023 10:28

When I was cheated on we didn't have kids. It didn't stop me feeling like he'd ripped my heart out, or make the pain and agony any less. Yes the fallout is bigger, but please don't diminish other people's pain.

KimberleyClark · 28/02/2023 10:31

Sarain · 28/02/2023 10:19

It's far worse to have an affair if children are involved. For a start more people are affected and the course of their lives changed without their input. You can't get away from someone you have children with as you need to coparent. The cheated on spouse doesn't have the same opportunity to have a clean break and move on. Agreeing to raise children together is definitely a deeper commitment than a marriage alone.

According to this article and a study parents are twice as likely to cheat as couples without children. Some commitment huh.

nypost.com/2014/07/16/couples-with-children-more-likely-to-commit-adultery/

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/02/2023 10:34

If you don’t live together it’s far easier to just break up when you realise you’re not happy or want to be with someone else. So that’s what you should do instead of cheating.

AnnoyedFromSlough · 28/02/2023 10:34

ibunofit · 28/02/2023 09:30

her/he/ themself

You missed out zer/ Zie/ zerself and xe/xer/xerself and bun/ bunself and…,

I mean c’mon, if you are going to be publicly proud about how on the ball and inclusive you are, you could at least make an effort to include everyone.

Show quote history

🙄

Not proud. Just trying to do my best in a world that I don't fully understand. My daughter says she is non-binary, and I get it wrong all the bloody time. But hey, feel free to poke fun. At least someone is getting a giggle out of it.

AnnoyedFromSlough · 28/02/2023 10:35

Damn. My daughter says they are non-binary.

That wasn't deliberate.

DarkShade · 28/02/2023 10:49

AIBU to think that murdering someone isn't so bad when they don't have children?

AIBU to think that defrauding someone isn't so bad when they don't have children to feed?

I mean, I don't know. Does it matter? Obviously the classic case of man cheating as mum looks after young kids at home is particularly grim. But really it doesn't make much sense to quibble about degrees of badness.

DarkShade · 28/02/2023 10:50

KimberleyClark · 28/02/2023 10:31

According to this article and a study parents are twice as likely to cheat as couples without children. Some commitment huh.

nypost.com/2014/07/16/couples-with-children-more-likely-to-commit-adultery/

Show quote history

This is what you'd expect. If you're unhappy and have no kids it's much easier to leave and find someone else.

luckylavender · 28/02/2023 10:53

Gallact · 28/02/2023 08:09

AIBU?

It's the same moral compass

magicthree · 28/02/2023 18:43

journeyofinsanity · 28/02/2023 08:31

It could hurt less as you aren't suffering the added pain of seeing your dc suffer.

Show quote history

So people with no DC don't feel things as deeply then? I understand what you are saying, but I stand by my original statement - cheating is cheating, no matter what, and someone being cheated on is hardly likely to feel better because they don't have DC to worry about. Cheaters have no morals.