16 year curfews and discipline advice please!!

[FemFairy]

I am a single parent and live alone with my 16 year old DD who is on the spectrum. Her boyfriend is about to turn 18 and he lives about 1.5 hrs away.

She has college Monday - Thursday, some days only 2 hours. Friday to Sunday I let her do what she wants, she has no curfew.

Her attendance at college is at about 50% and I am getting letters from them. I have asked her to come straight home from college on a Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, so that we can look at her homework and prepare for the next day.

However, she keeps on going AWOL, usually to her boyfriends house. I want to give her freedom, but also I want her to focus improve on her studies.

AIBU to expect a 16 year old girl to come straight home from college 3 days a week?? I just had a go at her down the phone and now I feel consumed with guilt.

50% attendance is appalling. She shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere except college until she is minimum 90%. You are being far too lax with her, and it will be difficult to rein back control. Introduce some discipline into her life, and be consistent.

Surely the issue isn't getting her to come home after college to prepare for the next day, but to get her to go in to college in the morning...? Is she staying over at his or just bunking off to spend time with him?

I'd be inclined to set some curfews. She needs to be home with you Sunday night to Wednesday night so you can make sure she gets to college Mon - Thurs. Is there an online parent portal to check that she's turned up? If not, I'd be calling them to check she's there.

Is there time during the day, in breaks between classes, for her to do the prep work?

You've given her freedom and she's taking the piss. Time to get tough. She'll flunk her exams and waste 2 years of her life if she carries on at 50%.

If her attendance is that bad, i would take her to college myself. Maybe talk to boyfriend's parents - ask them to shoo her out on school nights.

Why is her attendance so bad? She's not in college at night time so why isn't she going of a day? Is she spending the day with BF instead?