Mum's new boyfriend

[RaginaPhalange]

Bit of background first, my mum has been divorced feom my dad for about 7 years. She told me about 6 weeks ago she had met someone. My response was very chilled, i said something along the lines fair enough, happy for you. Asked a few general questions and all was fine.
A week or so later i asked her if she could watch my 2 boys for dh and i to have some time together for a night. She said ill see when im free and that was fine with us because we know how busy she is.

Fast forward to yesterday and she said she could watch the boys on friday night for us. I said thats great we messaged back a forwards for a while and then all of a sudden she says oh 'Bob' (new bf) might be here on friday. I said oh is he staying or what? She said he usually does but she told him she was babysitting. I spoke to dh about 'Bob' being there when shes watching the kids and we both agreed that we were uncomfortable with it as he is a stranger to us we have never even met him so i sent her a message:

'If youre going to watch them, i dont mean this in a bad way but we would rather he wasnt there. We dont know him. Hes a stranger to us. I hope you can understand that xx'

So aibu for requesting he is not there while she watches them overnight?

No-one said the mum had to agree to babysit and ditch the bf on Fri. Not even the OP said that. It's entirely up to the OP's DM if she wants to babysit or see her bf on Fri. There wasn't any pressure from OP or from posters.

Difficult one. YANBU

However i usually deem accepting someones offer of childcare akin to accepting their decisions. If you are happy enough to trust your mum with your children then should you not also trust her decision one way or another to have her BF stay?

As i said, difficult one which would probably have been best approached in person. Unfortunately she has now had her childcare choices questioned and it depends on how she takes it.

Completely fine. That is how you feel. You don't know him and nor does she very well.

Just want to make a few things clear.

I asked her weeks ago if she was able to watch them and told her to let me know if she would be free if not it was fine. Yesterday she said she was free we exchanged texts then a while later said he might be there.

I know she does a lot of childcare for us and she knows we are greatful for it.

Ive already said i shouldve worded the text better.

Im not asking her to choose between bob and her grandchildren. If shes got plans with him its fine.

If i had of known from the start then i wouldve handled the text better.

If you don't want him there when she babysits thats fine, but I don't think objecting on the grounds YOU haven't met him was the best approach. It comes across as though somehow you think you have a special ability to judge character that your mum doesn't.
In her shoes I'd find that patronising, because realistically, you meeting him for a couple of hours isn't going to tell you more about him than she knows from being in a relationship with him.
Better to have said 'until he's been around a bit longer'.

Poor Bob, he thought he was going to get his leg over at your mums Friday night, was then told he'd have to help baby sit some kids he's never met, and then told people he's never met might think he's a pedo. Not quite the Friday night he had planned I bet.

In all serious your mum should be able to see your point of view on it all.

Thoughts on my new guy I’m seeing getting weird almost jealous me and my son 21 Brendon going away for a long weekend together in my caravan I own myself