Where is the reset button?

[withfries]

I've just realised that nothing will ever get better for me.

I had a sad lonely childhood with terrible neglect. All I ever wanted was to be loved. I tried too hard, had no esteem and fell for the wrong boyfriends.

The man I'm married to refused to have a proper wedding, it was just a civil ceremony. I never got to wear a nice white dress with a veil.

My husband does not even share a bed with me. He prefers to sleep in the spare room. We don't even enjoy the same food so he even has separate meals.

I work so hard but never seem to be able to make ends meet. I can't afford anything nice in life.

I have 3 children that I would not be able to afford on my own.

I feel so lonely. What an absolute waste of life.

The saddest part is that I genuinely thought things would have been better. I realise now that nothing will ever get better. I will die some day never having experienced happiness or peace.

I'm sorry op you're feeling like this, hopefully someone will be here with decent advice.

Can you do the following for a short term fix:

• Depending on the age of the kids, can you take them to play groups etc so you meet people
• Can you get a p/t job if you're a SAHM so you build savings & can plan to leave
• go to the gym or start a hobby so you meet people
• see your GP and get therapy

Is your dh having an affair because you're not sharing a bedroom and I'm assuming no longer intimate.

maybe have a look at what sort of qualifications you have, and what you can do with them, or how you can get more?

Well he sounds a cold selfish person that would make anyone feel bad, living under those detached conditions.

If your husband doesn’t want to eat meals together every night, what type of food does he prepare or is he eating dinner out?

I would take steps towards closing the door on this very unhappy relationship for good, as your husband has already partially closed the door, but you need to completely close the door on him so that you can then open the door to a far happier future.

You sound depressed, I would suggest going to GP to be revered for counselling. I also did a mindfulness course which really helped me. If you can you need to learn to accept what you have in order to feel more capable of change.

I realise now that nothing will ever get better. I will die some day never having experienced happiness or peace.

I don't agree this is decided yet. You can stay or leave, as you choose. You can choose when to leave.

You do have the possibility of happiness and peace in the future