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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to resolve this issue?

12 replies

autienotnaughty · 26/02/2023 22:48

I have two adult dc and two child dc. We are all renting a villa this summer with both adult dc partners too. Dc 1 and his partner live abroad so they are flying separately and meeting the rest of us there. Everyone has paid for own flights , we booked the villa. Now looking at transfers as Dc1 is comin separately I assumed they would sort themselves out and we would pay for a transfer for the rest of us. Dc1 is upset as he and his partner are not high earners so feels it's unfair if adult Dc 2 gets a free transfer with us simply because he's not travelling with us. He suggested Dc2 and partner wait at airport and they travel together and split cost. Dc2 would prefer to come on our transfer. Is it fair that Dc 1 pays and Dc2 doesn't? Or should I insist Dc2 contribute? Dc 1 is a lower earner. Dc2 is still at university

OP posts:
cpphelp · 26/02/2023 23:00

I think DC1 is being incredibly childish here, especially as they are independent enough to live abroad!
If it was me though, I'd pay for their TF just to keep the peace and stop the ridiculousness

Original poster
autienotnaughty · 27/02/2023 07:56

I know what you mean! This is a long time battle and tbf dc2 normally wins.

OP posts:
Floofydawg · 27/02/2023 07:59

How much is the transfer? Sounds like they're making a big fuss about nothing and if you've paid for the villa then they're already getting a cheap holiday.

Sirzy · 27/02/2023 08:00

How long between arrivals?

billy1966 · 27/02/2023 08:28

DC1 sounds spoiled and selfish .

He needs putting in his place.

HurryUpLighterNights · 27/02/2023 08:31

DC1 sort and fund their own transfer out. Why are they even raising this? How childish imo.

parietal · 27/02/2023 08:32

can you afford to pay for DC1s transfer? if you can, I'd do that just to keep the peace.

Original poster
autienotnaughty · 27/02/2023 08:32

I've not looked at prices yet hoping it's not too bad and I'll just pay both. Its 2 hours between I've said we are not waiting as we have two young kids so I figured the older ones would sort it between them. But no. Dc1 feels hard done to as I still pay for dc2 sometimes but he's at uni and I did same for both. It's hard when we do stuff as a family as we have ourselves and younger dc to pay for but dc2 is at uni and we generally covered dc1 costs during uni. But then it's like im leaving dc1 out 😩😩 but I can't afford to pay for them both for ever!

OP posts:
Floofydawg · 27/02/2023 09:35

He sounds like a spoilt child tbh. Presumably he's working, so he shouldn't be sponging off mum & dad any more.

Aprilx · 27/02/2023 09:39

parietal · 27/02/2023 08:32

can you afford to pay for DC1s transfer? if you can, I'd do that just to keep the peace.

I wouldn’t pay just to keep the peace, I’d tell him it was about time he grew up.

BollocksToThem · 27/02/2023 09:41

Tell C1 to grow the fuck up and sort it out. They are all lucky enough to have a family holiday .if they get arsey they have a choice of not coming at all
I'd also point out that he had the same benefits that C2 is getting now so he's not been half done by

Where will it end if you don't make it clear

LadyDanburysHat · 27/02/2023 09:45

BollocksToThem · 27/02/2023 09:41

Tell C1 to grow the fuck up and sort it out. They are all lucky enough to have a family holiday .if they get arsey they have a choice of not coming at all
I'd also point out that he had the same benefits that C2 is getting now so he's not been half done by

Where will it end if you don't make it clear

This is my thoughts on it. DC1 might have a low paid job. But DC2 is not an independent adult, they are at uni. It is a completely different situation. They can have a free holiday or not. But they need to stop whining.

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