Nursery concerns - advice please

[aggymaggie]

Dd is 13 months and has been at nursery for just over 4 weeks. I like the nursery and the staff so far. She seems to have settled very well.

However she has food allergies, the most notable being CMPA and I'm convinced nursery are giving her food or drink that she shouldn't be having. The first incident was when she'd only been there a week and she had horrendous nappies and grizzling the day after she'd been at nursery. I asked what she'd eaten, took ages to get a response (things like naps and nappy changes are recorded in their books but meals aren't...go figure) and it was neither confirmed or denied. I gave them the benefit of the doubt as I couldn't be sure if it was definitely an allergy reaction, reiterated her dietary requirements and left it at that.

A similar thing has happened again this week and I'm just really worried and pissed off now. The nursery is great but communication is poor. I let it slide because I thought it's better that they focus on the kids rather than being glued to paperwork and answering emails. But is this not a pretty serious oversight to have happened twice in her first month? Again, I can't be 100% sure what she's eaten or if it definitely is an allergy reaction so it's really hard to judge. I don't want to have to pull her out as she's settled but I'm already anxious about leaving her and not knowing what she's eating is really getting to me.

Does anyone have any advice? If you've worked in nursery settings is it commonplace to tell parents what their dc have eaten?

Perhaps the thing to do would be to tell them that she seems to be reacting to something, and if they've been sticking to her dietary requirements then perhaps she is reacting to something else, so please could they record everything she has at nursery so that you can try and work out what it is.

If you can get that advice from a health visitor or GP, that might carry more weight.

Thank you @lanthanum this could indeed be the case. But with communication so slow (I'm talking at least a few days to a week before emails are replied to) they have probably forgotten what she had anyway! I always thought meals were recorded and updated with the rest of the care info. Either way I just feel really unsettled about it. It's hard leaving her without the additional worry that she's being given things she will react to and be unwell from.

Why allow the communication to be so slow?

Go in and speak to them / the nursery manager and put it as PP said.

Then continue to chase. Phone calls. Every drop off and pick up until you get the answers you need.

I agree with @feelinglikeanewparent

youre paying through the nose for what should be excellent care

Hi OP. I work in a nursery and the staff always tell the parents what the children have eaten during the day. The over one year olds don't have a record book but everything is written on a white board in the hallway anyway. Also, we have any dietary requirements and allergies written down and put on the walls where meals are eaten so all staff know.
If they're not telling you what Dd has had to eat when you pick her up I would ask everyday so you're not waiting for replies to emails.

I used to get (as standard) a list of what my children had eaten each day. In their three years there, once my son was given a dairy yogurt (he is lactose intolerant) and they called me to tell me and apologise.
It’s definitely worth saying what you said here and that it’s worrying you?

Why are you not able to ask at pick-up what she's had?

I would expect communication around food. I'd expect a menu in advance (usually weekly or monthly) and then a note in her book/on the app about how much she's eaten.

My child has a dairy allergy and he is strictly off dairy at nursery. He is nearly 2 and I get a report when I pick him up at handover. You should be given this daily. Also ask them to tell you what ingredients / brands they always use, eg they should always immediately know which milk / yoghurt / cream cheese he’s always given and also tell them he’s having reactions. On two occasions my nursery have seen him lick another child’s spoon and have called to tell me immediately - your nursery should tell you when something like this happens. It might be if communication with you is poor then it’s poor internally too.

if your child has CMPA im sure you are already aware of this, but incase you’re not: over 50% of children allergic to cows milk are also allergic to soya - they could be giving soya alternatives which are disagreeing with your child

Hi op.

I used to run a cm business. I did have one child with allergy issues and I went out of my way to reassure mum/dad at pick up every single day what their child had eaten.

I don't understand the delay! Communication should be daily and freely given

Follow your instinct here

The communication sounds bad - my nursery give a weekly menu and update app with food eaten and how much.

But could dd be reacting due to cross-contamination and / or contact with children who are eating milk during meal times or sharing food / drink? My DS comes back from nursery with food on his clothes a lot of the time and nursery meal times are quite chaotic. They are also in very close contact with other children a lot of the time and almost all of them will be drinking milk and eating milk products. So I think there's quite a lot of potential for a child to be exposed to allergens at most nurseries without actually being fed them.

Or could they be giving a product which contains milk where they weren't aware?

I work in nursery all food, nappies,sleep is put on the parent app straight away, our cook double checks every morning what kids are in for allergies and them kids have a meal card set on table so every staff member knows what allergies they have.go to the manager if the room staff aren't informing you off what has been eaten.

Long delays in emails seems unusual. Also, as others have said nursery's often have a white board or sheet with what each child has eaten. As my son was a picky eater I asked every day at collection, but often it was on the door so I could read it when they were getting him ready.

If you are anxious about this arrange to have a meeting with a senior member of staff or keyworker. As another poster said, you can always say that you're trying to work out what new thing they're now allergic to. Ask them to explain their allergic procedure and show you where they've written done what he can't eat. You can say it is for your peace of mind, we all know how difficult it is to leave your child in someone else's care and you are still new to it. If you are not happy with their procedures or you're getting an impression that they are not taking it seriously enough, then do move them. It is not worth it, you and child suffering over. They'll settle in somewhere else pretty quickly

I'm an ex nursery nurse, we would use food diaries for any children with allergies/intolerances, so that parents can see what they've had.

Children with allergies were given food/drink only by senior members of staff or the kitchen staff.

With regards to communication, doesn't the nursery use any other form of communication tool? Tapestry? Famly?
Parents and staff are able to easily communicate sending messages between themselves.

Nursery hat off now, my eldest has severe allergies. He was once given something that he reacted to and after it took time for the staff to be honest about it (I felt very fobbed off), I ended up moving him. Accidents happen, they shouldn't but they do, but I wanted honesty, not a fluffy answer, so I lost my trust with them.

Agree with pp easiest way is to ask every day at pickup. Or phone. Emails are probably just getting to the management/office and not the actual staff looking after your DC.

It's not unreasonable to ask for a food diary especially when there are allergies involved. Nursery should work with you to find out what your DC is reacting to.

I do ask at pick up but often it's quite rushed and I feel like they just say what's on the menu rather than if dd actually ate any of it (she's a fussy eater and I sometimes have to send her own food but not always).

I'm pleased I'm not over reacting about the poor communication. If she wasn't an allergy kid I wouldn't be too bothered about what she was eating but I feel like I need to know. It's very hard relinquishing care and responsibility when I've been so careful for the past year.

She isn't showing signs of allergy towards soya luckily, she's been having that for a while.