Didn’t bring present to baby “shower” but was told no presents!

[Essexsoup]

Oh my goodness. Feel like a prize Wally.
my friend is expecting her fourth baby and a friend of hers arranged afternoon tea like a mini baby shower. Twice my friend told me no presents, just afternoon tea and a chat.
we all split the bill, and I didn’t take a present because I’ve been told twice no presents! But there were 6 of us there and every one else gave her a gift.. I was planning on arranging a postpartum care box for her (her doula does them, nutritious treats and bath salts etc so I was going to surprise her by paying for one!) but now I feel like I’ve committed a faux pas by accident! Was I right or wrong to follow my friends instructions😣

I wouldn’t worry. If it’s her 4th she probably doesn’t need anything. Just do what you were planning to do.

I'm trying to offload so much brand new tagged stuff that I was gifted for DS3 that I asked not to receive and simply don't need. Kind thoughts and all that but such a waste.
I think your plan sounds lovely and I wish someone had thought of that for me! I think your friend will be thrilled!

Your gift sounds much more sensible, after two babies I have literally everything I would need for a third.

Oh thank god. Honestly I felt like such a lemon!! And yes I thought it be nice too, baby will have everything it needs but nice to treat mum to some goodies post birth!

Your planned gift sounds way better!

Fourth child, they got a tv?

Who has a fourth baby shower to start with?! You were correct to follow no gift instructions.

So how did the gift go down in the end OP (seeing as said fourth baby must be going on a year old now??)

Sorry but having a baby shower at baby no 1 is a load of pretentious wank, I wouldn’t be pandering to this nonsense for baby no 4 and certainly wouldn’t be buying presents!

Ooh sorry missed this. Turns out the doula was making her some postpartum treats anyway so I instead did some batch cooking and dropped off frozen home made meals she could easily put in oven or on the hob and got a personalised handmade keepsake for the baby once I knew the name etc 😄