Genetic abnormality

[Boymamabee]

DS (3) is on the pathway to an ASD diagnosis. We saw a pediatrician the other day and she ruled out any global delay or LD but believes his behaviour is down to autism. She offered me genetic testing on the NHS.

From the get go, DH didn't agree with me pursuing an assessment/diagnosis so didn't come to the appointment with me.

I have ADHD and have suffered with MH issues throughout my life. The more I research, the more I'm convinced I have the Fragile X premutation (I'm double jointed, have ovarian issues, get easily overwhelmed, etc). I talked to my husband about it this afternoon and his response was, "I'd be surprised if it didn't come back that you had some genetic abnormality" and, "Have you met you?".

I'm really upset and he thinks I'm overreacting. I'm also pregnant which doesn't help.

Banter or too far?

Ouch. Too far. We had genetic testing. I present more with asd traits and I'm dyslexic. My mum is a character too. Was quite the shock

Really hurtful. Has he apologised?

That is a vile way to speak to anyone let alone his wife! Are you ok?

Is he often like this?

I would say he's being an a-hole but by his insensitivity I would check to see if your DH hasn't got any obvious ASD traits.

As your child's ASD could be due to a combination of your DH's genes with yours.

That's really unkind of him. We had genetic testing for our son who has learning difficulties. We were advised to think very carefully before doing any testing that involved me and dh (first 2 lots of testing were to try and work out if ds had a genetic abnormality, 3rd lot was also investigating which parent also had the abnormality) because it's common to blame yourself or the other parent. In our case it came from both of us which in a way I was quite pleased about. Tbh although it's petty I would be tempted to say that I was more worried that ds would inherit his father's unkindness than inherit a potential genetic abnormality from you. But I get very defensive when people say things like that.

Oh wow what a twat. That's totally unacceptable. Is he usually so cruel to you?

Yes, he doesn't like social events like birthday parties because they're too chaotic. We took DS yesterday and he spent almost the entire time playing Pokemon Go on his phone! He games obsessively, doesn't have many male friends, very high IQ but can't clean his car, etc.

I'm struggling though because it's not the first time he's made a hurtful remark then acted completely oblivious as to why I'm upset!