to want to be able to eat my lunch with comments?

[justwanttoeatinpeace]

I am struggling with comments from my line manager who keeps making comments about what I eat saying I don't eat properly, or I eat barely anything, that I am so over conscious about what I eat. I don't respond a lot of the time but this does not stop her. I don't particularly want to talk about food and what I eat.

I have to eat lunch at my desk as there is refurbishment work taking place and so parts of the building have no access. When the weather is good, I will eat outside on a bench which helps but it is just far too cold at the moment. I also take a short lunch so I can leave early to pick up DC.

What makes it is worse is that she is HR also so I can't report her.

"Can you please stop commenting on my lunch everyday. It is making me feel uncomfortable."

Doesn't need to be said aggressively, doesn't need to cause any drama, doesn't need to spoil your working relationship but gets your point across in an unambiguous way.

Pick a response. Repeat it every time.

'What I eat is no concern of yours.'

'My nutritional requirements are none of your business'.

'I am on my lunch-break, if this is a work related matter please speak to me at xx:xx '

'Fuck off bitch-tits.'

Don't justify, don't ask her anything either, don't apologise. Just stick to the same statement every. single. time. Same tone if you can manage it!

Every week on here I read about someone having their lunch commented on. I'm glad I don't work with such small minded people.

This would do my head in - hugely unprofessional and, as a HR professional, she really should know better.

Your lunches sound fine - hummus, salads, falafel…yum! Headphones on and head down until the refurbishment is done, methinks.

"Can you please stop commenting on my lunch everyday. It is making me feel uncomfortable."

This is perfect, non confrontational but assertive.

I'm the why twat. Just keep asking why, why do you think that etc and watch her run around in circles trying to justify her comments. If it's genuine concern you can deal with that then and there. If it's just prejudice/twattery let her expose herself or struggle to hide it. She will definitely stop.

For extra annoying points , if she provides a lengthy explanation just reply with ok and walk off or stop engaging/change the subject.

I found people give up after the second time.

Could email it if hard to say in person.

What sorts of things does she actually say?

Email is a good call, starts a paper trail if this needs to be taken to a formal complaint.

The stuff she quoted in the op…

do you not work? It’s her manager, aggressive rudeness isn’t the answer.

I had to tell a senior colleague that it made me feel uncomfortable when he commented on my lunch everyday. I literally said "it makes me feel uncomfortable when you comment on my lunch everyday". He was all flustered but has never commented since so it worked

I HATE this one of my big gear grinders. Incredibly rude and bad mannered to pass comment and judgment on others food

Did you not read the second paraghraph in @justwanttoeatinpeace opening post ? 🙄

@justwanttoeatinpeace , I agree with some of the pp , next time she says anything a polite but firm ,
'Why do you feel the need to coment on my lunch every day'
'I am eatting this because it is what I want to eat '
Do you go round checking what everyone else is eating or do you just single me out ? why ?

I would also go to her desk when she is eatting and coment about her food , keep it polite but dismisive .
Ohh are you not worried about people been able to smell the onions / spice / fish etc on your breath ?
With a lunch like that I bet you eat like a bird / mouse when you get home.
I prefer to eat my main big meal at home

Its not worth creating a bad feelings at work , esp as she is your HR you made need her help one day.
Poilet but firm is the way forward I think

Just get in there before she can make a comment next time. "Hello Brenda, have you come to share your opinions on my lunch again?"

@Treetopviews

None of what I said is aggressive if said calmly but firmly. Shouting in her face then yes, of course that’s inappropriate but all of those things can be said with a jokey but firm tone getting the point across.

And yes, I work, have a profession, and don’t have people pisstaking and making me feel shit at work all the time.

It’s perfectly possible to advocate for yourself and to be firm, even with senior managers without being aggressive.

Laughing my socks off at the HR should know better comment, in my experience they're some of the worst offenders on this kind of thing (and I've worked in many different organisations). Most of them seem to think they're somehow superior and no one would ever dare report them. There's also the issue of who you'd report them to, in an unregulated "profession", since they're normally extraordinarily cosy with the managers...(VERY cosy indeed where I am currently...)

At my current job the lunch facilities are some of the worst I've ever encountered, the break room is tiny and the canteen miles away (almost ten minutes to reach each way) so I often end up either gobbling down my lunch at my desk and hope I don't have to answer a query while I'm munching (and always being careful not to have anything with much of a smell after the manager commented a few weeks ago on the smell of my chicken soup) or standing in the kitchen for ten minutes, and that's only because the staff who cater for coffees, lunches etc in the building are generous enough to allow it.

As I currently go in by bus I can't even do what I've done in previous jobs and sit in the car. It's one of many reasons I was bewildered at the enthusiasm to rush back to the office after COVID apparently disappeared into the ether....

Roll on proper spring when I can sit outside again...

I quite like this! It would mean I have to say less and she will say more.

I really enjoyed WFH in the pandemic because I got a break from her annoying comments.