To stay in bed feeling sorry for myself?

[ItsTheSmallThings]

Having a stressful time at the moment, where a house sale isn't going through, this will result in me and my DD moving an hour away to live with DF and DH moving an hour in the other direction to live with his parents. I'm feeling very sorry for myself. I feel like I've failed my family and moving backwards with my life. I wake up in the morning and the only thing I look forward to is going back to sleep. I just want to stay in bed, I don't want to wash or dress and u want to eat rubbish food. House is a mess and DD2 won't leave my side. DH is being positive and this is just making me resent him.

AIBU to make him look after DD and I can just stay in bed and feel sorry for myself.

I do feel sorry for you, but I am not sure that will help.

Get yourself in the shower, have a really grumpy shower, moaning and complaining to yourself out loud.

Then put a wash load on, and have a cup of tea.

If that’s all you manage to achieve today, it’s still better than languishing in bed.

I hope it’s all sorted soon. Do go to GP if you’re feeling really low for extended period.

Sorry you are having a rough time. Take the time you need to recharge and my tip is to take it one day at a time. Quite literally.

A day in bed won’t hurt you and may make you feel better but to be honest, you also sound a little bit depressed in that you don’t want to wash or eat etc.

Maybe going forward, it might be a good idea to speak to your doctor for some more long term support but for today, absolutely, you stay in bed. You don’t need permission to do this .

Saying that though, you might fancy a nice bubble bath later: you may find it relaxes you . Trash TV is good to watch ( nothing too heavy ) and definitely try and eat something. Even a small amount of soup ( if you like soup) is good as eating something will help you.

Take care 💕

Taking time to let yourself process things is fine but try to avoid letting yourself sit around moping because it too easily becomes a vicious cycle. Can you try to do something fun as a family today maybe? And then contact your GP tomorrow for ongoing support?

What did you do yesterday? It’s shit for all of you, including DH, and no one’s fault, so wallowing all day isn’t fair or going to help. Have an hour to lick your wounds then get up, wash your hair, have something decent for breakfast and do something nice with DD and DH.

Why can’t you move to one relative all together?

Honestly this just sounds like outright depression, doesn't sound like it's much to do with what sounds like a temporary situation (the house sale will go through eventually right?) So you really need to see your GP ASAP. Sounds like you need Meds to pick you up so you can deal with a situation that won't last forever.

I did get up yesterday and have a bath with DD but spent the rest of the day on the sofa. There isn't enough room for all 3 of us, me and DD will have to share a room as it is. I get like this when I'm stressed, I have a few days just feeling sorry for myself in bed and then kind of pull myself together and get on with it. I can't do this with a toddler so finding it very difficult. She seems to sense it aswell as she keeps asking me if I'm okay, this then makes me feel worse.

Also why can't your DH live with you guys too at your DF??

Nope, totally fell through after waiting a year. Can't get another affordable mortgage as rates have gone so high and also increase in rent and lack of properties means that's out the question too.

No room at my DFs as only one small room that me and DD will have to share, and MIL won't have DD living there.

Thinknon the positive side, the time you spend together will be special and your make the most of it. You and DH can have long conversations on the phone on the evenings. You DF will build a magical relationship with his GD and your husband can help his mum with all the things she needs. Book a hotel/travel lodge as ften as you can afford. Your get their, but don't give up. Good luck.

I am trying to think positively, me and DH have been struggling with the stress of it all, so I think it will hopefully help our relationship, plus we can save a lot more and I'll be close to all my friends and family. But then I start thinking about DD asking to go home, but we won't have a home, or asking for Dad or her nursery friends and then I just cry again

I'm confused are you first time buyers or were you in a chain? So you have a deposit either way? Can't you move somewhere cheaper/ buy somewhere smaller? Mortgage rates are coming down daily- nationwide now offer good sub 4% rates and the trend of lower rates is increasing. There's no way I'd move back to my parents who don't want my DP there- you have many other options.

Oh so you actually do want to live separately for a while.

You need to see your GP regardless and get your mojo back so you can see clearly again.