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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Balls in garden

29 replies

SparklingPinot · 25/02/2023 22:08

Another balls in garden thread It’s a long-ish one, apologies.

DH & I have lived in our house, happily, for 10 x years. For the past 5 of those years we have had to deal with almost constant balls being kicked over into our garden from the house behind, and as their DC get older these are being kicked into our garden with increasing force (on an average summers day a min 10 x balls will come over which I’ll go out and throw back over…another 10 or so will come over, so on and so forth).

If we do not throw them over they will come into our garden and take them, which we have caught them doing and asked them not to, but suspect they still do on occasion.

It has got a bit ridiculous at times and we have suggested they consider a net to stop the issue but they have said they got a quote and it’s far too expensive.

DH has always been extremely chilled, says it’s kids playing & takes a lot to bother him. Until now…

Fast forward to now & we have a toddler, & we have just completed an extension, & are finalising our garden. Funnily enough, whilst the works were being done, no balls have been coming into our garden, but as the builders and heavy machinery in our back garden has left, so begins the balls once again.
We will shortly have a useable garden (which we haven’t had for some time due to works) and as the weather gets nicer I am genuinely concerned for the safety of my DC in the garden with the strength at which the balls are being kicked in once again (it’s not a huge garden - think standard semi, and we’ve extended so the gardens even smaller).

I am now wondering where to go from here, as the weather gets better the balls are only going to get worse. I’m mindful I don’t want to start any neighbour disputes but I’m wondering if anyone knows what our legal rights are (I know we always have to return the ball 🙄) & can advise really where to go from here…

I should add that on weekends balls are being kicked over (and against the fence) often until 21h/22h , meaning that I’m forced to have my toddler childs bedroom in our front, tiny, box room, rather than the much larger back bedroom (this wasn’t an issue as a baby but as DC has started to grow & get more stuff I could do with putting them in the larger bedroom but
am 100% certain that the shrieks and repeated bangs of balls being kicked against walls & fences would keep them awake).

AIBU to think that neighbour should do something to prevent the onslaught of balls & allow us to enjoy our garden with our new(ish) DC in relative peace and

OP posts:
Loq · 25/02/2023 22:11

Give it a few years and it’ll be your child’s ball in their garden.. so tread carefully here!

MeinKraft · 25/02/2023 22:12

Put up a net on your own side?

Maybebabyno2 · 25/02/2023 22:14

Loq · 25/02/2023 22:11

Give it a few years and it’ll be your child’s ball in their garden.. so tread carefully here!

100% this! Our neighbours balls are always in our garden (what a sentence!) I just throw them back or text the mum and ask them to come get them. I just know if I caused a huge issue now, it would eventually bite me on th3 arse.

justgettingthroughtheday · 25/02/2023 22:18

Loq · 25/02/2023 22:11

Give it a few years and it’ll be your child’s ball in their garden.. so tread carefully here!

Not necessarily! It's fucking inconsiderate of the brats to be kicking them over! If they can't contain the balls within their own garden then they should find somewhere else to play.
If 10 balls were coming over into my garden each day they would not be getting them back they would be punctured and binned!

MrsBungle · 25/02/2023 22:19

my kids balls go next door and their balls come over here. Us and neighbours just let the kids run round and retrieve them.

are they out playing football at 9pm when it’s freezing and dark?!

AllTheThingsIWantAreHere · 25/02/2023 22:29

Collect them and bring them into your house. Text the Neighbour to ask them to collect them.

Throwing them back makes it too easy for them.

JonahAndTheSnail · 25/02/2023 22:30

YANBU. If the gardens are small and close together, the parents should be encouraging soft balls for outdoor play. This would eliminate neighbours being incovenienced by noise and damage to property. Next door used to let their kid shoot hoops with a leather football. One day it cracked our conservatory roof and we didn't even get an apology from them. Only when the kid broke the wing mirror off their Dad's car did it put a stop to this ridiculous game. If your neighbours had enough sense to discourage their kids from sending balls over when building works were happening, then they can do the same in order to be courteuous neighbours now.

quietnightmare · 25/02/2023 22:33

Loq · 25/02/2023 22:11

Give it a few years and it’ll be your child’s ball in their garden.. so tread carefully here!

This

Same thing happened in my parents house and they were very chilled threw thousands of balls back over and eventually Mande a gap so we could climb over and get it ourselves when big enough....... then guess what I came along and did it back for several years and the neighbours threw the balls back until I was big enough to jump the wall at the gap and get it myself. I am an adult now and the gap in the wall is still there

Spectre8 · 25/02/2023 22:36

AllTheThingsIWantAreHere · 25/02/2023 22:29

Collect them and bring them into your house. Text the Neighbour to ask them to collect them.

Throwing them back makes it too easy for them.

This. You have to legally give them back but nothing to stop you keeping them in your house until they come knocking for them. And make it their parents who have to come because when it inconveniences them it will stop

Tinktravels · 25/02/2023 22:38

Kick them back over with the same force? 😆

DuplicateUserName · 25/02/2023 22:39

justgettingthroughtheday · 25/02/2023 22:18

Not necessarily! It's fucking inconsiderate of the brats to be kicking them over! If they can't contain the balls within their own garden then they should find somewhere else to play.
If 10 balls were coming over into my garden each day they would not be getting them back they would be punctured and binned!

Show quote history

Aww is that you Mr Jenkins?

I grew up living next door to you.

<< Nostalgic >>

quietnightmare · 25/02/2023 22:47

@DuplicateUserName

🤣

JaniceBattersby · 25/02/2023 22:53

Put a net up on your side?

Honestly, round here all the green spaces have been built on apart from the small playing field in the centre of town which is literally covered in dog shit. There’s not a single goal post anywhere that the kids can use (no football club). They can’t play in the street because the ball hits cars. I don’t know what they’re really expected to do.

Ive put a net up on my side of the garden which has largely stopped my kids kicking balls over although the odd one still goes over sometimes.

Bunnyishotandcross · 25/02/2023 22:56

Over the years I feel I have found the perfect solution op.
ASAP as one appears run out and deflate it. And leave it back where it fell.
Hand it back/let them go collect it deflated. Their dps will get fed up of finding pump /assisting with inflating. As will the dc. They will take better care not to send or over.
Ime.

Soapyspuds · 25/02/2023 23:05

Throw them into the gardens each side. Several to the side if you can throw that far. Make life difficult for them and it will encourage them to stop.

StoneofDestiny · 25/02/2023 23:11

Give it a few years and it’ll be your child’s ball in their garden.. so tread carefully here!

no - some of us wouldn't let our kids kick balls regularly into a neighbours garden, nor let them climb over a fence to retrieve them. The parents are obviously seriously inconsiderate if they allow that.

clpsmum · 25/02/2023 23:14

Loq · 25/02/2023 22:11

Give it a few years and it’ll be your child’s ball in their garden.. so tread carefully here!

This

clpsmum · 25/02/2023 23:14

MeinKraft · 25/02/2023 22:12

Put up a net on your own side?

And this

singer15 · 25/02/2023 23:19

I'd put up a net on my side if I could afford it, but it's unreasonable that the family causing the disturbance isn't footing the bill. And no, not all children kick balls over the fence with such frequency. It's certainly not a given than OP's DC will do so.

Short of putting up a net, I'd make it as inconvenient as possible for them to get the balls back. Taking them inside as suggested earlier is the easiest way.

WombatsAndGumTrees · 25/02/2023 23:26

StoneofDestiny · 25/02/2023 23:11

Give it a few years and it’ll be your child’s ball in their garden.. so tread carefully here!

no - some of us wouldn't let our kids kick balls regularly into a neighbours garden, nor let them climb over a fence to retrieve them. The parents are obviously seriously inconsiderate if they allow that.

Mine are all grown and we've had only one instance where something went into the neighbour's garden.

FunkyMonks · 25/02/2023 23:32

I agree with @StoneofDestiny parents should be teaching their children respect and boundaries and consideration for other peoples properties not just going into other neighbours gardens or constantly kicking a ball in neighbours garden a one off fine but not all the time.
I wouldn't be too happy either if any damage occurred to my property.

PinkPupZ · 26/02/2023 01:24

My son was banned from balls in the garden by me because they were being kicked at force down into neighbours garden and the number of times he got it over the fence was ridiculous. I thought was unfair to neighbours and could hit someone quite hard. I got him one on a rope which was ok for a while but he just had to.go.to football club or the park to play. I think if the ball is going over repeatedly they should stop the ball games as a matter of common decency.

Spongeboob · 26/02/2023 02:24

I have this but live in a rented property. They kick the balls so hard at the fence that slats are often broken (leaving muggins here to fix). One day there were six balls in my garden, the last of which hit one of my rabbits. Half of my back garden is given over to the rabbits, little fence down the middle. If I don't throw balls back fast enough a child usually appears standing on something their side and dangling legs over. I shout that they're not to come into our garden, it's a bloody high fence with no way for them to get back over.
Last time I was nailing a slat back into place the kids appeared shouting "What are you doing?!" Told them I was fixing the fence because they broke it. Again. So they kicked it the whole time I was hammering nails in.

Spongeboob · 26/02/2023 02:26

Typing that might have actually been outlet enough now for me to start fucking popping the balls Angry

ThinWomansBrain · 26/02/2023 02:32

if they're coming over that frequently and so late in the evening, but contained when the contractors were about, I'm siding with the slash and bin brigade.