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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Court action

12 replies

anoniem · 25/02/2023 20:50

Hi you lovely lot.

My other half and I are in a tiff about his ex partner and child. He currently has no access to his child, but pays maintenance. She’s moved houses, changed numbers and blocked pretty much everyone on social media. I’ve suggested the only route is court action, and let it be done that way. Whereas he thinks mediation is the best bet so his child doesn’t feel torn in the middle.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking that court is the only option?

OP posts:

Wowsersreally · 25/02/2023 20:55

Court should be a last resort to go to if mediation fails

Court is crushingly expensive, protracted and incredibly stressful.

good luck.

Whatatimetobealivetoday · 25/02/2023 20:57

It’s really impossible to help you by giving you advice when we have no idea why his ex might have possibly taken that much trouble to get herself and her kids away from him.

Why would we say go for court action when we know nothing as to why she’s felt the need to get him and her kids out of her life so much.

Allywill · 25/02/2023 21:00

mediation is part of the court process. when you fill in your form (c100?) it tells you you need to try mediation first unless you are exempt (dv)

taxpayer1 · 25/02/2023 21:02

Because it is standard procedure now. Separate, remove the child from the father, claim more child maintenance, play happy family with the new man. Rinse and repeat.

SingleMumofOne95 · 25/02/2023 21:31

You have to try mediation before being allowed to apply to court unless certain circumstances - domestic abuse etc.

Court is a long and extremely stressful process for everyone involved - even the children.

It’s his child and if he feels mediation is best, then it’s nothing to do with you.

PeekAtYou · 25/02/2023 21:33

You have to go to mediation as part of the court process so you're both right.

Itsnotalternateuniverses · 25/02/2023 21:34

I don't see what this has to do with you. Let your partner decide as it's his child. What do you have to gain by forcing the family to go to court?

Theunamedcat · 25/02/2023 21:35

If he doesn't want to drag his children through an unnecessary court case unless he absolutely has to

He is a keeper and is putting his children first

Mediation first you don't use a sledgehammer to crack a nut

MissFritton65 · 25/02/2023 21:36

Contact Only Dads for advice.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 25/02/2023 21:55

Mediation is definitely the less traumatic option for everyone involved

Oohhhh · 25/02/2023 22:01

They will say you need to have tried mediation first anyway. Court is a last resort.

Littlepaws18 · 25/02/2023 22:02

Unless there's serious risk, you will always be directed to mediation first then court. Mediation is costly (for us was £200 per session) but it's a whole lot cheaper than court (2 years of court hearings cost me £20,000). Which is one of the reasons why court will not let you put a case forward without mediation first.

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