When I met him, he was very popular. The life and soul of the party type. After we got together we had some tough times. Both of us, the ups and downs of life.
But I am increasingly finding him so grumpy and hard to deal with. He also just stonewalls me if I have annoyed him and he gives me the silent treatment. Basically, he is grumpy a lot of the time.
We have small children, so life is really hard at the moment. We have only had one evening away from them since they were born. My H has had a few nights and evenings away from all of us, but I haven't. Anyhow, we had a last minute invite to see some friends and were able to go. He didn't really want to go, he never does. He was so grumpy on the way there and also while we were there and after wards as well.
He didn't really talk to me and went to bed and seemed to be sleeping, so I left him and went to lie down by myself, just to wind down on my phone ( the light from my phone bothers him when he's sleeping / trying to sleep ). He then came barging in and called me a joke of a wife for not going to bed with him. I guess he wanted some action. I was magically supposed to perform for a massive grump.
He then berated me for being cold and unfeeling and I told him I'm just having a really difficult time with the kids and I'm just exhausted at night. My baby wakes up multiple times during the night and only I get up. I usually fall asleep at around 8:30-9 pm. So sometimes I don't even see my DH when he comes home from work. It's just the way it is right now. It's survival. I am just surviving every day. I don't have time to myself even for one minute during the day. Never. It's exhausting. He finds it really hard not to see me that much, but I'm just surviving. I'm existing and taking every day as it comes.
He's very unhappy with it all and basically doesn't understand what my problem is and he actually says ' so you just don't want to be a mum anymore '.
Eh no. I'm just finding it hard and therefore I can't see him that much and can't be as available to him as he'd like. I have stopped complaining and crying about how hard it is for me to him, because he does not understand and he won't help me put measures in place to help me more.
I'm going back to work soon, which I think will actually be really good for me. But I can't help but actually struggle with my feelings of attraction towards him, seeing as he's so grumpy all the time. I've suggested we get therapy, but he hit it back at me and said that I am the only one who needs therapy and I can go on my own. I know life isn't ideal right now, but to me it's a phase and it's normal for things to be hard when the kids are tiny. After a couple of years, things get better and we will have more time for each other. It's his moods that bug me the most. Life is weighing down hard on him and he refuses to get any help.