Jealous boyfriend or is it me?

[imtheproblemitsmeee]

My boyfriend hates a guy I work with because he’s admittedly a serial flirt/cheat, and he automatically assumes that he’s going to flirting and target me. He doesn’t.

Him and I get along okay and, as a team, there’s a lot of “banter” so to speak. But there’s absolutely nothing there to worry about. I went for drinks after work yesterday which is something I never ever do, and this morning he was dragging information out off me regarding who I was sat next to and whether anyone tried it on. I said that the colleague in question had jokingly put his hand on my lower back because another member of the team states that this is how he initiates sex with his wife and apparently it never fails. So we, as a team, wind him up about this, and what my colleague did was completely in jest.

So today my boyfriend has been questioning me to death and is saying that there’s something I’m not telling him. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. It’s tiring.

Am I in the wrong??

seems to me you are taunting him

Your boyfriend's a jealous knob. I can't think of one occasion when 'jealously' has righted itself and morphed into a cosy, easy going happy ending. But as you have chosen to stay with him why would YOU tell the jealous knob that your flirty work colleague put his hand on your lower back. Tell the colleague to keep his hands to himself, or tell HR.

How am I taunting him when he’s questioning me over and over for any “incident” that might have happened? It’s not something I would have even shared if he hadn’t asked so many times because it’s so insignificant.

Couldn't be with a man like this, it's so embarrassing and unattractive.

It's definitely him and not you but why are you engaging with it?

Perhaps you should have refused to be interrogated about an innocent works night out. He has no right to question you like that. Your relationship sounds very unhealthy, he sound jealous and intimidating.

Your BF is a bellend but why are you saying things like he put his hand on your lower back which is just irrelevant but going to wind up someone who is already a jealous tit?

You are being unreasonable staying with someone like this. I had a bf like this. Drove himself insane with made up thoughts of me cheating which I would never do. These men never change and only get worse. Such a relief when I dumped him.

Your BF sounds like my ex!

There is no way in a million years I would ever tolerate a jealous idiot like that again. Either he trusts you or he doesn't. It has nothing to do with your work colleague's reputation.

If he is questioning you like that then he clearly doesn't trust you so I would question what sort of relationship you actually have with your BF.

This is just one of many times he’s gotten jealous. Even though it was him who cheated on me in the beginning and was still seeing his ex.

Why are you even with him?

Fuck that shit. You'd only be unreasonable if you continued to put up with it.

Yes this, he has no business questioning you, but equally why would you give him the the detail of your colleague touching your back?

The pair of you sound to immature for a relationship.

He is jealous but you told him something you knew would wind him up. You don't sound compatible

I'd be concerned about your boyfriend I'm afraid. I often tell my husband about this sort of thing, not trying to make him jealous, we just talk about most things, I guess we laugh about them. It's nice you can feel you can be honest and trusted and not worry about what you say. Regardless of the situation I think that's a good thing to go for in a relationship. Been together for 20 years and never unfaithful.

No one is compatible with a jealous wanker. His issues are HIS to resolve, not other people’s to pander to.
Anyway, what sort of person do you think wants to be interrogated constantly?!

Fully agree but she knows what he's like and clearly stays with him despite this. No one should have to put up with that.

He's jealous but you gave him info he could then run with. I don't follow why you told him the colleague touched your back. There was no need. It was irrelevant.
He's jealous but some relationships are like that, toxic, and you need to leave as it's doing neither of you any good.

He's worried you're going to do to him what he did to you.

It's him not you x

Because you didn't need to tell him.

Saying that , he shouldn't have been questioning you.