Moving House

[MovingOnUpMovingOnDown]

I'm going to set the scene. I'm not boasting but just trying to give you some background.

We've recently moved house from a relatively big cottage in the middle of nowhere to a city centre townhouse.

To set the scene, our new house is fairly large and is of historical interest.

Mum hasn't seen it in person yet but I sent her the property details.

Anyway, she keeps on asking why we would have wanted to leave our cottage for this. She then told me she'd shown all her friends our property details and they can't understand why we'd move either.

She's now said she's shown my brother and he can't think of anything worse!

We've moved because the garden etc was too much work, the kids no longer played in it and we were literally just ferrying the children around to get to activities. Dare I say it, but it got boring there?!

Now we are in the city we can all walk to places and there's a lot going on. We love it.

We were so excited about the house but now feel a bit crushed!

My mum is very elderly so I have to bite my tongue but it has upset me!

You moved for you so ignore what anyone else says. Honestly just ignore them, your house, your life.

Ha! It was the best move I’ve ever done!!! From an old cottage in the middle of nowhere, we moved when DD started secondary in the town centre. It’s so so so much easier and I actually have a life, as opposed to being the driver.
Even taking the books to the library was a car ride. I’m having a little coffee and then I’m walking to the library, with the dog, it shuts at 5, I can leave at 4.30 and still be back by 5. And I forgot to buy a birthday card, I can pick one up on my way, as opposed to a 40 min drive to the nearest town. Absolutely love the freedom!

Does your mum often try to rain on your parade?

We live a mile ish from the city centre around plenty of stuff to do. My family all live in the suburbs or semi rurally. I think they and many people like your family just don't get city living.

I personally feel its quite a British thing. Although many people live in cities in this country I feel like most people don't aspire to live in urban environments and we're sort of ideologically conditioned to aspire to a detached house in a suburb or rural location. Even when that's massively inconvenient in terms of lifestyle.

So I get it but I think your fam obvs don't so just say you're really happy and shit the conversation down. And enjoy your new home!

Thank you.

We now walk out for a coffee, lunch or to the shops etc. The kids walk to the gym, bowling, cinema etc.

Previously our nearest supermarket was a 14 mile return trip. We now have about six large supermarkets within a mile.

Our new house has some beautiful old features. I was actually feeling quite proud of it, but not feeling that way now.

As for my brother's comment, he lives in the middle of a large housing estate which is neither rural or urban. That's not for me either but I wouldn't tell anyone that!

She'll just have to get over it won't she as I'm guessing you won't be moving back

Not sure why you have to bite your tongue because your mother is elderly? Old age not an excuse for being actively campaigning against your move. Ask her why she feels she has the right to Diss your new home and what she is hoping to achieve with her negativity. It's one thing for her to have a different preference in terms of housing but I would expect her to find it in herself to support a loved one

I don't know how "elderly" you mean, but when I met DH's grandparents both they and my in-laws (70s and 50s) were rattling around in detached houses they had gone off, but were refusing to give up, as "big house with big garden" was a status symbol and they could "never" not be detached again. The grandparents died in theirs. The in-laws recently moved to a terraced townhouse like ours. 😁

I love living in a (market) town centre. It was brilliant on mat leave and will be brilliant when DS can walk himself to the pub/train station/school.

Oddly our new house is bigger than our last one. It goes back a long way and is over four floors. We now have a small courtyard instead of a huge garden. It's so easy to look after and gives us more time doe ourselves! And we can both walk to work too!!!!

Oddly we are considering doing just this and lots of people think we shouldn't.

We live in the 'dream house'. Old rural cottage. Massive garden. And we love it. But we drive around constantly, can't walk to the shop, pub etc and we have a high mortgage.

We could sell. Be mortgage free/almost mortgage free and the kids walk to school and activities, have a lot more freedom, only run one car and have the life you describe. It sounds so nice.

Don't get me wrong I love our house but totally understand why you've moved. If you are happy then don't let anyone make you question your decision

We are doing this too! We're moving from a coastal home (just a 2 bed though) with huge gardens. Near beaches and countryside.

We're moving away to a city 200 miles away because we're bored. Bored of driving everywhere, bored of the lack of jobs, bored of village gossip, bored of the same old same old. Local towns are deprived. Schools are oddly old fashioned. Literally nothing changes here but umpteen MN threads are started because people want to live here.

Literally so boring and we feel like we've retired mid 30s!!! We're wasting away and daily life is like groundhog day.

I want to feel buzz, see culture, hear LIFE going on around us and have opportunities!

Your new house sounds amazing!! Xx

I don't understand why you don't just say you moved to get more space/be near centre/less work in the garden and you're really excited about it?
She says she doesn't understand why you moved, you tell her all the pluses, then she will understand.
I think sometimes older people who don't work pass comment on a lot of things and do things like sharing the property details with their mates just for something to say. I wouldn't take too much notice, and don't let her put you off what is clearly a great choice for your family.
If you are feeling confrontational, you could ask her why she is passing on all these negative comments as it is spoiling your enjoyment of your lovely new house and say that if she hasn't got anything nice to say you would prefer she keeps her negativity to herself. But that would doubtless lead to more problems! Best to ignore her and tell her she will understand when she sees it.

Sounds like a brilliant move into a great house in a fantastic location that works for the whole family.

Congratulations!

It’s all very well people having idealised fantasies about rural cottages. Fine let them live in them. But they are often extremely restrictive in all the ways you described.

Enjoy your new lives OP!

Yes, but you can gasp hear and see the neighbours! (I'm just pointing out that her desirable and your desirable are not the same thing).

It wouldn't matter if it was a £5m terraced house on the Royal Crescent - to some people, a terrace is a terrace.

Incidentally we are mid-terrace and never hear a thing.

You're an adult - why be so concerned about your Mother's opinion of your home?

Congratulations on your move! It sounds like your new house works much better for your current lifestyle than your old one, so don't let your Mum and her friends rain on your parade. I wonder if maybe they have a touch of the green eyed monster, so are being deliberately critical?