To think the US paediatrician system is weird

[shaniahoo]

I'm on a few parenting groups that are American and the way they talk about their pediatrician is so alien to me. The ped seems to have a lot of power. Like, the hard line of these groups is that you always follow your ped's advice and nobody is allowed to question what a poster's pediatrician told them. But a lot of it seems like non-medical parenting advice? Everyone has their ped tell them when to start solids and they follow that - so they might tell you to start at 4 months so you do that or if they tell you to start at 6 months you do that. And everyone has to have their paediatrician "clear" their baby to start solids before they start. And the ped "clears" you to start sleep training or tells you you must do it or must not do it, and you do what they say. I suppose the equivalent here is the HV but you don't see them nearly so much and there's no sense among parents that you must do whatever your HV says.
AIBU to think this takes autonomy away from parents? Or is it great that they have so much advice and support?

Yeah, that’s the norm. I think occasionally a paediatrician will come to the hospital to see your baby, but for the full check, you go in very shortly after you get home (possibly varies by state, but from those I know, and personally, this was the case).

@Blossomed Yes, if the pediatrician is affiliated to the hospital, they’ll stop by to see your newborn. If they’re not affiliated to that particular hospital/you have a home birth, you go into to see them shortly after giving birth.

My children weren’t born here ( I’ve lived in the US 10-plus years), but I’ve asked my American friends and it’s the norm in this area. My children were registered with a pediatrician soon after we moved. They’ve also seen the the nurses there, but it’s exclusively a pediatric practice.

No point comparing this system to the UK, it’s completely different. 🤷

Yeah, agree. Completely different system. There are definitely pros and cons to both.

I asked because all of my DCs were born in the US, and it's definitely not something I or anyone I know has experienced.

The hospital pediatrician saw them all in the hospital when they were born. He signed off on the discharge of all the DCs and my OB signed mine.

The first checkup was at 10 days. Next visit was at two months to begin the vax schedule and do weight, head measurement, and growth chec, and to see how feeding and sleeping were going.

We attended the large pediatric practice associated with the university medical school hospital they were born in. Our pediatrician was a professor of pediatrics.

Ahh ok, that sounds quite different to the experience of my friends and I, so perhaps it varies from state to state 😊

@mathanxiety Perhaps it’s a regional thing? I’ve asked a couple of friends and their pediatricians definitely visited them/their babies in hospital. These doctors were affiliated with those hospitals and had “visiting rights” there.

That might be unusual, I have no idea.

I am now trying to remember when I took kids 2 and 3 for their first visits and I can't. It was fairly soon after coming home, but both of them had phototherapy for ABO incompatibility jaundice, so quite possibly it would have happened regardless.

i happened to deliver in hospitals that their paediatricians weren't affiliated to, so the doctors they saw in the hospital were different.

when Americans make international comparisons Canada tends to come first since it's right next door. Liberals love to talk about the Nordics, though I dare say there's many reasons Nordic style systems wouldn't work here and it's not just because of taxes.

@HamBone - Yes, a pediatrician would visit in the hospital and check the baby. In my case, the hospital pediatrician was also the family pediatrician and was right there on the spot anyway.

But schlepping yourself and the baby to the pediatrician the day after getting discharged is something I've never heard of, and I never saw day-old babies in the waiting room of the pediatrician

If it's medically necessary, it would be done everywhere.

Not sure, but our paeds was full of day old babies 🤷🏻‍♀️ We def didn’t go out of medical necessity. Like I say, must vary by location.

Actually, about 4 days old given most stayed in hospital for 3 days post birth

Our paediatrician was affiliated with the hospital and came in to check the babies before we went home. I seem to recall that we went into the office quite soon as I only spent one night in hospital all three times (my choice - terrible pregnancies, relatively easy unmedicated deliveries) so the paediatrician wanted to see them again within the first week. It was a godsend with my first as I needed help with breastfeeding and the paed's practice organised a lactation consultant to come to the house.

And for those talking about labour and delivery. It's definitely possible to choose an ob/gyn practice who will be aligned with your own preferences. I knew I wanted to be able to walk around, drink water, not be lying down etc. as much as possible, and was able to have that without any issues, although I did need some intermittent monitoring.

Hi @Cantstandbullshitanymore this thread has died but I thought I'd come back to you on this one - yes I did get my answer, I discovered that the view I had of American healthcare was coming through a narrow filter and I didn't actually know much about it. So yes it turned out IABU and I stopped reading the thread after about 5 pages because it became more detailed than I could be bothered following anymore. But I remembered that you were also one of the first people to comment complaining about thread after thread of America-bashing, and then more than a week later you've come back and tagged me again and accused me of having an obsession with the topic. Which I find quite funny.
Ultimately the whole purpose of AIBU is to post contentious stuff and watch what happens so I wouldn't take it as a personal slight on Americans that occasionally there is a thread about something to do with America.

I wouldn't take it as a personal slight on Americans that occasionally there is a thread about something to do with America.

There are lots of threads about America that are perfectly fine - threads about holidays in various cities, the university system here, etc. The problem arises when you start a thread with a goady subject like To think the US paediatrician system is weird that implies that the American system is crazy, wasteful, harmful, etc. when you know absolutely nothing about it.

Then it invites a pile on of similar smug, ignorant nonsense

I never had an internal exam before or during contraceptive pill usage in the UK, nor has my dd. Blood pressure check, yes.

Agree, the US states have different rules and procedures, not that different from the UK with Scotland, Wales, England, and Northern Ireland having and doing different things but rarely do you see any posters asking the same questions about those countries.

Very likely not related to location - your pediatrician probably wasn't hospital affiliated/ didn't have admitting privileges in the hospital where you delivered.

My kids saw the closest paediatrician out of sheer convenience but it was Catholic so I chose to see a different OBGYN affiliated with a totally different (not Catholic) hospital. So my paediatrician didn’t have privileges at my maternity hospital. Ended up moving back to the UK in late pregnancy anyway but if I hadn’t I suspect I would have taken youngest baby in as soon as I was home from the hospital, likely day 3 or 4.

Yes I tagged you on this because this thread descended into the shitshow as expected with people making various stereotypical claims and the typical trying to show the UK is better.

As others PP said these posts are goady and aimed at stirring negative posts about the US rather than truly seeking information. Every few days there another asking obviously ridiculous questions in the guise of seeking information, and every single one descends into insulting and bashing Americans.

It’s ridiculous and as a Brit I find it really embarrassing that we do this.

It’s ridiculous and as a Brit I find it really embarrassing that we do this.

Thank you. It's lovely to know that some of you see this for what it is.

We interviewed pediatricians while pregnant. You screen them based upon what they put on their website and the information they provide on request, but once you have it down to one or two you can meet with them and make sure they are a good fit. This is if you have insurance that you really provides choice of doctor. Most people I know have this option, but some Americans just have to see whichever doctor is taking patients.

then your pediatrician comes
to the hospital after the baby is born to do the first checkup. Either later that day or the next day. I’ve never heard of someone having a pediatrician who didn’t have privileges as all the maternity hospitals in the area, but I suppose it is possible.

our dd had some minor complications so we had to visit the pediatrician daily after we were released from the hospital. If not, I don’t remember if it was 5 or 10 days that was standard for the next visit at the time she was born.

As a Brit I agree. It's pathetic.

I don't understand the antipathy towards the US/Americans on MN either. My American DH is very pleasant, I'm not a complete horror either (dual citizen) and my children (also dual citizens) are amazing, in my very biased opinion. 😁

The country definitely has some major problems, but so does the UK. Day-to-day living in the US isn't a nightmare, though.

Thank you for this post @Cantstandbullshitanymore, it's good to see someone point out this truly unpleasant aspect of MN.

And as for this comment @shaniahoo Ultimately the whole purpose of AIBU is to post contentious stuff and watch what happens. No, that is not the purpose of AIBU, though some goady posters certainly seem to think it is.

I'm a bit surprised at the amount of vitriol in some of the responses, especially as much of it stems from opinions based on second (or third!) hand accounts of the "horrors" of American life.

I can assure you that most Americans enjoy a good quality of life and don't make any judgements about life in the UK. That's assuming they have any opinion of the UK at all, which frankly isn't likely as there's little coverage of the UK in mainstream US media beyond major news events like elections.

As to healthcare, both systems have plusses and minuses but are currently failing too many people to be considered successes. And neither are prepared for the tsunami that awaits them - aging populations requiring extensive long-term care that threatens to bankrupt them.