Will try to keep this brief. Met someone at a toddler group (Sally) and became great friends with her, as well as two other women who we met up with but were slightly less close. Sally has a son the same age as my DS. She had fertility issues and endometriosis so had previously had many miscarriages and conceiving was a really stressful and sensitive topic for her.
A year later, DP and I then conceived DD. Sally said she wasn't yet ready to try for a second herself (she has minimal childcare help from family etc outside of nursery) and she tried very hard to be happy for us and made a real effort but it was definitely a sore spot. It didn't help that one of the other women in the group also had a second child at a similar time.
Fast forward a year and Sally started trying but various obstacles got in the way for a good 6-9months. When she started trying properly, the stakes were much higher because she and her husband were getting older and didn't have the smaller age gap she wanted which was only increasing with every failed month. Our friendship survived it though even though it was obviously upsetting for her.
Fast forward another two years and Sally is thinking about to give up trying when I find out I'm pregnant with our third child. Sally coincidentally also found out she is pregnant and 6 weeks behind me. I was so happy for her and was really excited about spending maternity leave doing things together but she's obviously been bitten before and was understandably afraid of letting herself happy. She said she was worried about the torture of her miscarrying and me bringing home a baby. All seemed okay but she went for her consultant appointment yesterday and found out she's miscarried. I am beyond devastated for her as I really view her as someone I hugely respect, care for and sort of love in a platonic way. I always try to champion her and encourage her.
I'm at a total loss over how to handle this though. Obviously I am being sympathetic but neither want to suffocate her when she probably wants space from me nor want to make her feel like I'm awkward and withdrawing from the friendship. My husband things our friendship won't survive because it will be just too painful for her to see me pregnant and then with three children. Any tips on how to handle it would be greatly appreciated.
AIBU to think our friendship can survive?