To think this comment isn’t normal?

[miltfdsr]

I was with someone for a year, found out he was cheating and ended it and he’s with the woman he cheated on me with.

Six months on and I’ve been seeing someone else and the topic of exs came up and he asked why my last relationship failed. He then said if he asked you back would you? I said no, even if I were single I wouldn’t and he’s fucked it with me now.

Him - it’s funny you said that
Me - said what?
Him - that he’s fucked it, as that’s exactly what he’s doing, fucking his new girlfriend.

Is that not really inappropriate?

Is he stupid about other things?

Ew what a bellend.

Even leaving aside the insensitivity and poor taste angle, purely in terms of joke structure it doesn’t really work.

You said “he’s fucked it with me” and his gag was basically “haha, fuck also has another meaning and couples fuck, d’y’see what I did there”😶

IMO you should chuck him purely for that

Nah that would be it for me.
Not remotely funny, no self-awareness (that he’s not as funny or witty as he wishes he was). I’d just cringe anywhere ever if I heard this said to someone, let alone myself, about someone who’s supposed to really like me.

Also it can’t be a pun if it’s the same word, with the same meaning. A pun has to be a play on words.

That’s why this comment just isn’t funny.

@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate i was typing (laboriously on my phone) as you were posting. Not copying, honest but you explain it really well.

He sounds so dim OP. I can’t tolerate dull. Well okay then, thick.

This. Waste no more time on this plank.

I don't think it's meant to be funny at all. He's negging you

That’s a red flag to me. Firstly he’s insecure and needy asking if you would go back to your ex, and secondly almost relishing isn’t a hurtful way that your ex has moved on.

Yeah that's weird.

Sounds like he thought he was trying to lighten the mood but severely misjudged it. That is a weird comment to make and would make me think he was a bit thick tbh.

I'd have to ask him about it, and if his response was anything other than "honestly I heard the words come out and I almost cringed my arse to my elbow" I think I'd have to ditch him.

I think what he said was a little weird but no weirder than you saying “he’s fucked it with me now” that is a really odd choice of words given the situation.

So you and your new bloke both phrase things awkwardly and also both nitpick what others say… Sounds like you’re perfect for each other!

Red flag, that's extremely disrespectful and inappropriate. Do you love him?

Going to play Devil's advocate here and say he said it to see your reaction. If you had been upset, he would have asked why and accused you of still being in love with your ex etc. I wasn't there so of course this is just a theory.

Red Flag!

Maybe he was trying to style it out because he felt awkward, but it feels like some kind of narcissist behaviour to me. Making light of your ex's hurtful behaviour and perhaps minimising the pain from cheating.

Are there any other Red Flags? If so run. If you're on the fence about this guy then chuck

I agree with others who say he sounds a bit thick. I mean that is a basic response isn’t it? Dull, basic, unsubtle and insensitive.

I don't like that at all.

Inappropriate for him to say, but I have to admit I might have said it in a dark humour way. As long as you're talking about your own ex its ok I think, him saying it to you is a bit spiteful and taunting? So:

Him: if he asked you back would you?
Me: no, even if I were single I wouldn’t and he’s fucked it with me now, quite literally

I find it weird and insecure of him to have even asked the question though!

I have quite a dark/twisted sense of humour and would find things funny that a lot of people on mn would balk at however your* *bf's comment was just weird and not remotely funny!
Any chance he was nervous, possibly talking about your ex made him feel inadequate in someway so he made himself sound stupid?
If not then he's clearly a bit of a prick.

Cringy. Very off putting.