To change my appearance at work?

[macbooks]

I’m 25F and work in the civil service as a HEO. I feel like within my directorate, I’m respected as people trust my opinion after working there for years. I am my manager’s deputy so cover his responsibilities in his absence and have exposure to senior stakeholders. I have also been given projects to develop myself, which were all successful.

I’m applying for internal jobs but keep failing interviews that generally go well. My written applications are good & I have the experience. I just don’t know how to get that across. I assume that people who just meet me, might assume I’m incompetent based on my appearance, or is this a jump?

aibu to change my appearance (less makeup, hair tied back) to see if I get a different response? I think my appearance can look a bit different from the average person applying for the same jobs so maybe they can’t envisage me in the role. Or maybe I’m just not great at interviewing.

Well - I’m not really one for thinking that people’s appearance is very relevant to the job but I’d want people to look neat and tidy but still show personality.

Are we taking unkempt? Or just alternative?

And what feedback have you need given?

What makes you think it's your appearance? What is it about your appearance that you think is bothering them? I'd try it but you might just be shit at interviews and need to work on that.

Hm there’s a lot to unpack here

what about your appearance is different to the ‘average person applying’?

Can you ask for feedback post interview? That seems a reasonable ask since they are internal interviews and it’s seemingly in their interest to keep developing you successfully for the future.

failing that, do you have any colleagues who are close enough to give you a bit of honest feedback?

Dress for the job you want, not the one you’ve got. What do others of that grade wear?

You to elaborate on how you feel your appearance is different from your colleagues.

Are you quite sure that your manager isn't pulling strings somewhere and stopping you leaving your current role?

Anyway, when it comes to appearance, yes it does help and you do get taken more seriously. I started wearing jackets, smart skirts and blouses, and took to carrying a briefcase. One day my boss said to me that it made him realise that I was treating it as a career and not just a job.

I'm.a civil servant, how people in my dept look is very diverse, from formal business wear, smart casual, many Indian/Pakistani women and men in traditional dress, some women wear a lot of makeup, some don't, long hair, short hair, dyed hair
What do you think the issue is with your appearance that tying your hair back would make a difference.

I'm in the Civil Service and I very much doubt anybody gives a shit about your appearance.

Are you applying for SEO jobs then? They expect a lot at interview for that level and you're probably just not there yet.

I dress smartly for work and am clean and tidy. I wear blazers, silk shirts, trousers, boots/loafers. I’m probably more formal than needed as my office is smart-casual

Are you sure the positions weren't already pegged for someone else and the interviewing was merely to keep up the charade? Appearances are important at work but if you are smart/casual with makeup on I can't see how that's against the norm.

That's a bizarre question to ask to be honest. Why would your appearance be the issue?

Based on this I think you sound a bit immature and might lack some common sense, which might have to do with why you are not getting the promotion you want.

I wonder if there is something less about your appearance but more in the ‘I’ve worked there for years’ have you been there from being very young? I’ve been in the same organisation for over 15 years and it was my first professional appointment after uni. I have made some progression and have a middle management position but I feel to progress any further I’d need to go elsewhere as I still think a lot of people see me as a bit of a kid even though I’ve got lots of experience and better qualifications than some of my superiors.

I also wonder whether perhaps you’re such a good deputy your manager doesn’t want to lose you?

I would be inclined to think it was your interview technique rather than your appearance

So long as you are smart and tidy that generally sufficient

However someone else might be right, in internal interviews, especially at more senior roles managers can sometimes already have someone in mind and the interviews are more of a formality

You also say you have worked their for years, but you are 25 so even if you went there straight from a levels that's only around 7 years, is it possible the other people applying have a lot more experience? Or it could be ageism where they assume you are not competent enough or ready enough because you are 'only' 25

I think I look different to other H/SEOs I have come across as they tend to be male, older, in a different life stage. I’m applying for roles in tech.

Appearance-wise, other women don’t really wear makeup but I do. My hair is mousey but I have a blonde “money piece” - could that look slightly “alternative”? Only reason why I thought it could look better tied up.

The people I work with definitely don’t care about what I look like but idk what someone’s first impression may be. I had a tech HEO interview and could just tell the male panel members weren’t interested in hiring me. No follow up questions, lasted less than 50% of the allocated time etc. The only feedback they gave was that my answers were too rehearsed and could be more natural but otherwise “excellent candidate.”

Well they do say dress for the job you want, and recruiters often recruit in their own image. So while you shouldn't have to, a temporary change to the house style for the roles you want wouldn't hurt. You can always go back to your usual style when you get the job.

Well I applied for an internal role (expression of interest). Some people think recruiters may earmark someone for these and are just keeping a charade, but it could be completely unbiased too.

I don't think it's likely to be your age physically as I know loads of 7's at your age which is 2 grades above you

It may be that your not 'speaking' or presenting confidently?

I'm not quite civil service, non-departmental public body. It took me 14 interviews to get an SEO position. Hate them. Bloody star format, competency yada. See if you can find an internal course to go on about interview technique. Or see if you can be on an interview panel, shoe on the other foot is helpful.

@Reluctantadult thanks. that would be great actually, to see what interviewers are actively looking out for. I might not have the balance right between being conversational and relaying the key information?

I applied for a mix of level transfer (HEO) & promotion (SEO) roles. I think my experience is fine as I have scored well in the promotion applications - where I was reserve listed. It’s the level transfers where I’ve been completely unsuccessful after interview.

Rehearsed answers? Need to be more natural?

Are you overly anxious and come across as being "wooden"?

Having a blonde money piece is hardly alternative. I’m 9 months into growing mine out because every fucker and their dog has one, including every 14 year old I see.

I'm not in the civil service and I understand they have very specific ways of doing things so my answers could be off base but I do work in tech

And generally in tech peoples appearance tends to count less anyway however the fact that you are a young woman looking for a more senior tech role... It can still be a male dominated field although it is changing

However I would say if your answers sound too rehearsed it could sound inauthentic

Is your boss supportive of your move? If he is then maybe ask him for interview coaching

Otherwise is there another manager you have come into contact with and have a good enough relationship with to ask for mentoring and coaching?

Are you getting the same feedback at each interview?

From what you said, it seems like your appearance is pretty average (I don't mean that nastily, I just mean you don't sound like you stand out) so I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about that. Unless your workplace is very, very conservative I don't think a money peice is alternative or worth any note.

My boss is really supportive. He’s given me projects and training to improve my skills over the years.

I also have a mentor & have done mock interviews this week, could be why my answers seem rehearsed. The interview with feedback was very basic - “why this job?” “what can you bring to the table”, “start to finish how would you complete this technical task” etc. Overall he gave me a high score so I don’t think I came across as overly anxious.