AIBU to expect nursery to replace coat?

[MNMcoating]

DS is 3 and goes to a nursery attached to a private school so has a uniform including a coat. He came home in a coat that had another student’s name in it so we returned it and said it wasn’t his. We assume that his went home either with this child or that multiple coats have been switched up. His coat hasn’t been returned so we’re now expected to buy a new coat from the school for £45. His coat was named in multiple places. AIBU to think that, seeing as they lost it, we shouldn’t have to pay to replace it?

I find it best to regard the possession of young children like biros, hair bands, and lipbalm. Sometimes you have many. Sometimes you have none. If you buy more the old ones will return. These are temporary objects that get recycled by the universe. No one really owns these objects.

Last year a woman became convinced I had her daughter’s (grocery store)cardigan because she had ours. I didn’t have it. She asked about it for weeks and I think she’s a bit nuts. One time, though; we list a Victorian orphan costume after 1 of 3 Xmas Carole performances and that one made me cross.

they come and they go.

They should def message other parents. I wouldn't necessarily think they would replace it (although I fully see your point!!) But I also certainly wouldn't replace it. My child would wear a coat they have.
In 2 years of my child attending nursery, not one single thing of his has gone missing.

YANBU.

When DS's brand new shoes went missing at pre-school and he came home wearing the same style but a very worn smaller size, I insisted that pre-school covered the cost of replacing the shoes, which they did.

I assumed that the parents who got DS's shoes were delighted to save themselves the bother of buying the next size up. There were only 4 boys who could have gone home with the wrong shoes so as the pre-school were unwilling to chase it further, I insisted they re-imburse me.

It's obviously unrealistic to expect 3yr olds to be responsible for their own clothes. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh dear, you're in for a rough few years OP. Stuff goes missing all the time, being named helps a bit but won't stop it. Nursery won't get responsible for replacing it I'm afraid, neither will school when they get there

But they're different entities. At school kids are responsible for getting their own things on, at nursery I would expect staff to be helping.

Ha ha ha - no of course they won’t reimburse you. It’s up to the family who know they took the wrong coat home to return it ( and not just cut your labels off) . Nursery are not responsible for theft.

Frustrating as it is you will have to pay to replace it. Does the school have a second hand shop? I know some private schools do, as you might get one in there.

My eldest lost her full PE kit including trainers twice in year 7. That was expensive for me, state school uniform which still all had to come from the school uniform supplier.

Lesson learnt - don’t send your DS in with a £45 coat. You need to invest in a nursery wardrobe

I find it utterly amazing that so many of you are so blaze about lost uniform.

YANBU, I wouldn't expect them to replace it but I would expect them to make an effort to contact all parents and ask them to check and return anything that isn't theirs.

The OP is literally one paragraph and you couldn't be bothered reading it all?

Why is it the nursery’s fault? It’s probably at another child’s house.

How did he get home? Do the nursery transport them? If not them simply check every item of clothing for names before leaving the nursery area after pick up. Unless you would find this tiresome and inconvenient and you have twelve other three year olds to look after at the same time.

I can see your point because all the coats are the same - you would have thought that nursery would be checking whose is whose, rather than in a mainstream nursery where all the coats are different so its obvious whose is whose. It does feel a bit sloppy for them to have sent the wrong coat home with the wrong person. I still don't think I'd ask for reimbursement, but I would be asking them to send a message to the other parents. Have you talked to the parents of the kid whose coat you had?

Last term I looked idly through the lost property table at DD's school - she's in year 6. What should I see but a trainer which she must have lost in about year 2! With the name label still on, slightly battered. She was delighted - it was so tiny and cute.

I'm sorry but 😂
The cast! 😂😂😂

What on earth??! A cast!!

I always labelled my DCs’ stuff EV-ER-Y-WHEREREE. Inside, outside, on the label, under the label, front, back, sharpie, stickers. Everything, everywhere. It was the only way.

On the plus side, they learned how to spell their complicated surname very early on.

No yabu. Maybe nursery asked other parents but you send clothes to nursery at risk of not seeing them agai n

Insist on going inside the nursery and checking each peg yourself....and the lost property box.
The coat will be there somewhere OP

I’d expect them to message all parents to check who has your son’s but no I wouldn’t expect them to replace it.
this^

This would annoy me. The very least they could do is replace like for like from the second hand uniform box.

I think this is the price you pay for sending your pre-schooler to a nursery with a strict uniform code. Why does a 3 year old even need a coat that complies with a uniform code? My two went to the nursery attached to my place of work in charity shop buys and hand me downs. No angst about lost or damaged clothes.

Eventually you'll give in and buy a new coat. The day after that, your original coat will magically reappear and be handed to you at pickup.

I haven't got anything else useful to add, but I work in a nursery and I just can't imagine the extra pain for the staff of all the children having the same coats!! It's bad enough when they have different ones but somebody has a new coat and you didn't see who it was when they arrived... 3 year olds are notorious for answering the question 'is this your coat?' differently depending on how much they like the new coat you're offering them

You take him into school, hang about wait for everyone to be in then go through the cloakroom looking at the coats and find his.
Then write his name somewhere unusual like under the collar or inside the sleeve.
One CF waited till everyone was doing PE and took Dd's new school shoes, didn't leave their old ones behind so she spent the day in her pumps and it was commented on by teachers, they never turned up even though they were named.

I'd just like to offer you a warm welcome into the world of educational establishments. A baptism of fire it seems but this is how things will be from now on. Jumpers will disappear, PE shoes will lose their partners and lunchboxes will simply vanish into the ether. Mothers since the dawn of time have spoken of a mysterious Black Hole containing the ties of six thousand different schools. The learned women amongst us obtain their children's educational regalia on the second-hand market, knowing full well that even a £25 school blouse cannot escape the terrors of the Indelible Ink Stain. As small children believe that uniforms are both procured from and washed by the Special Powers (ie. Mum), they have no knowledge of the fact that their coat once adorned the back of and was subsequently lost by another pupil.