I think I've just been accused of racism at work

[Imlookingatapicture]

Panicking somewhat..

For context I'm the only Welsh person in our London office. Lots of banter around the football World Cup.

Chat started on teams (chat not video) re the 6 nations game tomorrow. Collegue (huge football fan, most vocal in the world cup) said 'I don't care about rugby. I'm half Welsh anyway'

I replied

'Oh I'm half English too. We all have our crosses to bear ;)'

Manager has just emailed me to say collegue above has complained, and it's not acceptable, especially given recent discussions around inclusion and diversity.

It was honestly just a joke, in the same vein as the world cup 'banter'

I know I shouldn't have put it on teams. Maybe context didn't come across.

How much shit am I in?

To be fair I was.... but as a joke, as in similar jokes he said running up to the footy world cup.

I have quite a strong accent so not sure if my comment about being half English was seen as disingenuous. Its very true though, mother is from Kent!!!

So is the other person English?

I've got to say I've struggled to see how anyone can actually be offended by that let alone offended enough to complain!

Just persist in ONLY relating it to the world cup: whichever team you support out of England and Wales, regardless of your nationality, BOTH TEAMS are doing badly.

Sounds like your colleague is looking for an excuse to be a butt-hurt little snowflake. Jesus Christ. Can you not joke about your own heritage?

Yep. How sad that posters are coming on here saying the op should apologise and needs training. FFS Op. Sorry you were put in this position. I hope nothing comes of this, I really do. I'm quite shocked because usually anyone can have a pop at the English with no consequence. Maybe whoever's complained has tried to make this point. Bit shit of them to use harmless banter to do so.

A HUGE amount of English people have Welsh in their DNA and visa versa. (And Scottish and Irish too!)

This is how ridiculous it is. Do your ancestry DNA OP 😂 It'll be fun for you!

Apologise but don't hug. Don't get accused to sexual harassment as well!

Exactly, although could it be related to religion? Hugely reaching here, but the 'crosses to bear' referencing Christianity?

Say it was a reference to centuries of colonialist oppression of the Welsh by the English, and offer to deliver a 2 hour workshop on Owain Glendower.

Pfft. Storm in a teacup, OP. Just say “Sorry, you’re quite right, I can see now how it could have come across, although I was just talking about how badly both England and Wales are doing in the tournament. Should I apologise to X?’

Hahaha! Or say this… and add a 😉

But the bloke who has complained is exactly the same ‘race’ as OP , half English, half Welsh. So how can it be ‘offensive’

Maybe he and you should get together and have a little moan- in and scratch about for some more offense, careful though, tolerance doesn’t abound in the offense seekers.

I'm with @CementTrucker and @monomatapea on this - if you get pulled in, accuse the company of creating a hostile work environment through encouraging the watching of team sports and exclusionary commentary on them.
You're not rascist, FFS. Every single country in the entire world has another, usually bordering, country they don't like. Normally it's seen as historic and jokey, which is the spirit in which you took it. For the company to follow up on two white people accusing each other of rascism is pathetic.

Why are you obsessing about taking the piss out of the English? Both Op and her colleague are half English / half Welsh.
Her colleague is not an oppressed minority.

English identity is a nationality, not a race. It's definitely NOT racism.

You were making a joke about Englishness being 'a cross to bear', and as an English person who understands the historic Welsh/English rivalry (and is not an idiot) I'd personally be 100% fine with that.

Unfortunately you were bantering with an English person who's decided to be an idiot about it, which is sad but there you go.

Agree with PPs: start by saying your comment referred to the rugby team's performance, but are sincerely sorry if your comment was interpreted as being anti-English nationality/heritage. You would never knowingly cause offence and are so sorry that you weren't clearer in expressing your meaning. You will not make the same mistake again and are happy to undertake any training deemed desirable or necessary.

Hope it all goes ok, it's a storm about nothing. Oh well.

It may not have been the colleague you were speaking to, but someone else who did not take it the right way for whatever reason. Unfortunately I concur with the Christianity possibility (crosses reference) maybe not going down well in earshot too.

Whoever has complained sounds like a twat. Is he?

I haven’t come across the phrase “we all have crosses to bear”. A quick search shows that it can be somewhat controversial - a euphemism for something painful or a reference to Christ.

stay away from phrases like this at work as you never know how others may take it. English people might think you genuinely believe it’s horrid to be English or others might be sensitive about religion and not want their beliefs to be flippantly referred to. There’s a wide range of things which may be humorous yet fall flat at work - keep that in mind. If people already don’t like you, they’ll take anything you do wrongly.

Conduct yourself like your bosses’s boss is watching your every move. This is your cue to only involve yourself in important messages.

This, and if possible never, ever have a direct dialogue with twatty complaining man again, although can imagine if you do this he'll then say you're excluding him! Dick.

That's an awful thing to say. As if being half English is a bad thing

We used to have these things called jokes. Poor OP doesn't realise that they're no longer acceptable.

Just remember your manager probably doesn’t have a clue either, and is probably just ticking a box. Do whatever you have to do to allow him/her to tick that box and move on.

Forget my earlier comment. This is the way to go.

Yes, sorry if that wasn't clear. Other person is English and quite patriotic.

I think the complaint is coming from an anti English angle.

Friday afternoons we all work from home. Started with a 'what do we think about tomorrow's game' (from him)

I posted a 'as long as we beat the English meme'

That was when he said doesn't care about rugby and half welsh.

Then my comment which I need to discuss on Monday

You haven't done anything wrong

Being English isn't a protected characteristic.

Your manager and coworker need the diversity training.

I haven’t come across the phrase “we all have crosses to bear
It's fairly commonplace.