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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DD off school?

32 replies

containsnuts · 24/02/2023 11:02

For context school would have finished at 11.40 on the day in question (Scotland).

On this particular night, DD5 was tossing and turning, wimpering and coughing throughout the night which is usually a sign that she's starting tonsillitis which she gets a lot and quite severely. When I went to check on her at 5 am she was miserable, and asked for water and medicine which I gave her. No vomiting, no fever. She tossed and turned and coughed for another hour before falling asleep just before we would normally be getting up. I decided to let her doze a bit but when after an hour she was still in deep sleep, I made a judgemment call and messaged the school to say she wouldn't be in - probably the start of tonsillitis again. However, at 9.30 she woke up feeling perfectly fine and with no recollection of ever being unwell during the night. She's angry and upset that she's missing school. I felt it was too late now to take her. I thought it would be awkward and disruptive for the teacher if I took her halfway through the morning and an hour before finishing.

Ex DP had her that afternoon and thought I'd been massively unreasonable to keep her off that morning. She just had very mild 'sniffles' at that point and was fine at her club.

What would you have done that morning? Was I unreasonable to keep her off?

OP posts:
Plumbear2 · 24/02/2023 11:05

How old is your child? Under 6 I would have let them sleep in, any older I would have woke them to see how they are feeling .

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/02/2023 11:05

I’d have done the same.

GoodChat · 24/02/2023 11:06

I'd have kept her off if she'd been up through the night, needed medicine and was in a deep sleep.

Original poster
containsnuts · 24/02/2023 11:09

Plumbear2 · 24/02/2023 11:05

How old is your child? Under 6 I would have let them sleep in, any older I would have woke them to see how they are feeling .

She's 5.

OP posts:
waterrat · 24/02/2023 11:23

Parents can lean on the side of caution and stop a sick child going into school..its not a crime ! Shes 5...let her rest and she will fight off bugs better.

SouthernDrawl · 24/02/2023 11:25

I’d have done the same as you. Ex is being a dick.

Arthurflecksfacepaint · 24/02/2023 11:34

Oh christ, a 5 year old I would have done the same.

A ten year old I would have woken.

5 is still so little and they can go downhill really fast when they get ill. You made the right call.

Gwen82 · 24/02/2023 11:38

So to be clear…. No school but she went to a club that afternoon?

Gwen82 · 24/02/2023 11:39

No way would I have sent my child in any age after a night like that

Arthurflecksfacepaint · 24/02/2023 11:40

@Gwen82 OP said that her father had her in the afternoon and was annoyed she hadn’t been at school so I assume the club was on his time and his call.

Barannca · 24/02/2023 11:43

I would have definitely have kept her off school. She wouldn't have been able to do much at school anyway after a night like that

Gwen82 · 24/02/2023 11:46

Great thing about “ex”s is that you really don’t need to worry or care if they get annoyed by something. Especially something that is done and dusted and in the past.

Emiliasmummy · 24/02/2023 11:47

I have a 5 year old and would have done the same as you.

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 24/02/2023 11:49

I would have done the same. She probably woke up feeling fine because she’d had the medicine and the rest.

Original poster
containsnuts · 24/02/2023 11:50

Gwen82 · 24/02/2023 11:38

So to be clear…. No school but she went to a club that afternoon?

Yes, her father took her to the afternoon club as usual. Tbf it's not physically active and only lasts 40 minutes. She seemed to manage it OK but was unusualy tired when she came home (which he didn't see, of course).

OP posts:
Original poster
containsnuts · 24/02/2023 11:52

containsnuts · 24/02/2023 11:50

Yes, her father took her to the afternoon club as usual. Tbf it's not physically active and only lasts 40 minutes. She seemed to manage it OK but was unusualy tired when she came home (which he didn't see, of course).

Show quote history

Should have mentioned that the club has nothing to do with the school

OP posts:
Anywherebuthere · 24/02/2023 11:58

I would have let them stay off school and sleep. They wouldnt have missed much on a short day. There is no point in taking a primary school child in for an hour or so.

Even if its an older child I would leave them sleep. I would only wake them to check if they're up to going in if they had an exam/test or something on the day.

Oigetoffmylawn · 24/02/2023 12:47

I wouldn't have hesitated to let them sleep. Realistically how much is a tired, mildly unwell 5yo going to learn?

Purpleturtle45 · 26/02/2023 10:57

It's a tough call so I think waking her to see how she is or leaving her to sleep would both have been reasonable things to do.

Briallen · 26/02/2023 11:31

She’s 5. I would have done the same thing OP

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/02/2023 11:34

I've did the same last week. Bad night. Coughing croupy and asleep at 8am so left her

She did cry not going to school as loves it but she knew she not right and tbh a whole day there she wouldn't have managed it due to tiredness

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/02/2023 11:34

Plus yours was a short day

Nimbostratus100 · 26/02/2023 11:38

who knows? it was a judgement call, and you erred on the side of caution - I would probably have done the same. No one can magically predict how a child like that would have been a few hours later, she may have been fine, or not, you will never know!

liveforsummer · 26/02/2023 11:39

YANBU, sounds like she definitely wasn't ready to wake at the normal time and we often raise an eyebrow seeing dc coming in on a Friday while we are in the staff room on mid morning break. Seems rather pointless and yes can be a bit disruptive - not especially useful. Sounds like she found have done to miss the club too

7eleven · 26/02/2023 11:42

I’d have done the same. Just forget it OP xxx

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