To ask for your stories about crazy customers?

[FrogsWormsandButterflies]

Following on from the post about how crap customer service can be.
What about the other side?
What crazy/strange/rude things have you experienced from customers?

I work in a supermarket and fairly recently had a customer insist that we need a room to keep dogs in whilst people shop?! I don’t know who she thought would look after the dogs. She then tried to tell us that M&S allow dogs in the food hall so she doesn’t have to tie her dog up outside. I feel like she would have been very put out if I had suggested something crazy, like leaving her dog at home whilst she goes to the supermarket!

I used to deal with the complaints/suggestions at one of the practices I worked at. Lots of them were about music in the waiting area - too loud/too quiet/wrong genre; we then turned it off and got more complaints about the lack of music.

Favourite ones were:

1. I Turned up a little late for my appointment and you were shut. Yep - you must have turned up about 2 hours late and we had indeed closed for the day.
2. I want to return my glasses as I think the FBI has put a camera on the side to watch me.

I also had many about the appearance of the other staff, including a few about one of the optometrists who had a small scar on the side of her face. (I obviously never told her about those and ignored them). Oh and lots about daily contact lenses not being available in certain prescription (again nothing I can do about that).

I worked in a cafe while at school/uni. We had blueberry scones on that day. I told a gentleman what they were. He sliced into the scone and ate most of it before bringing it back up saying it had blue mould. It was a blueberry (It stains part of the mixture). He started demanding a refund, whilst I explained it was simply the blueberry. He told me if it was, then I should be able to lift it and eat it?! Long story short, I didn't do this, I didn't give him a refund and he waited for a manager to come back and hour later where he was basically told the same thing. He put the small bit left in a bag and taken it to environmental health. They also told him it was a blueberry.

I've also had a customer tell me down the phone I was a terrorist because of my N Irish accent when working in a call centre, lol

My dd worked in sales for a sports company
. Once a customer threatened to come burn her house down because his badminton equipment wasn't ready...
The very efficient dd who on realising she had taken a same day delivery order but the email didn't show until 2 mins past the deadline enlisted me to go with her to hand deliver his item!
To a new build address that didn't even show on Google maps yet!

I used to work on cruise ships and the main complaints were:

• the helicopter taking the staff home each night is too loud

• the lift doesn't take you to the front of the ship, just up and down

• the ship was moving about at night

• the indoor cabins didn't have balconies

• the kids zone wasn't open for adults

• the crèche was closed at night

• the ship wouldn't wait for people when they were late back in port

Oh and they were disappointed in that the staff weren't "exotic" enough

The midnight buffet started at midnight was a big complaint as well...

Call centre job. A frankly bonkers caller went on an enormous rant about his car not being back from the repairer yet (nationwide parts shortage, not our fault).

Him: "Well, this wouldn't have happened if the SS had been in control of the country!"

Me: "...social services, or the OTHER SS, sir?"

Him: "The proper SS! We all know that Hitler had the public transport infrastructure sorted - if he could do that, cars would be sorted even quicker!"