Am I expecting too much here?

[Nosulk]

Had a bad day at work. Work in an industry where it’s common to respond to out of hours emails and be contactable all the time. I’ve been regularly working until 1/2am. It was flagged today that sometimes I’m a few minutes late into the office. I’eve also been coming in with a bad cold and now just feel why do I bother! I get no credit for anything I do that’s above and beyond, only criticism.

i get home with a ready meal and leave on top of the oven. Carry on doing work and ask my housemate if they would please mind placing the meal in the oven - the oven is on btw so very little work involved here. The response is, ohhhh cant you do it please. I regularly cook for said housemate.

im sick and tired of doing things for people I get fuck all from and only getting criticism. I always try to treat people with basic kindness and respect, I hold my tongue and all I seem to get back is shit.

what gives?!

What does your contract say? Maybe do a malicious compliance if they're going to whinge about being a couple of minutes late.

Just stop doing shit for people who don't appreciate it.

What is a malicious compliance please?

Stop doing all the overtime, you're right, noone will appreciate it.

Don’t blame your housemate because you’ve had a bad day at work. I don’t think you can expect them to drop whatever they’re doing to put your dinner on just because you ask.

You need to put in better boundaries with work though, no one should be expected to be responding to emails at 1/2am unless you’re working to international schedules and it’s also expected that you have later mornings occasionally.

Work to contract and stop doing favours for ungrateful people, OP!

Stop doing overtime. Concentrate on getting in on time. Unless you spell it out that what you are doing for others comes with conditions, stop doing it. It will get rid of angst and resentment.

Work exactly to whatever your contracted hours are and not a minute more. If they're going to moan about you being a couple of minutes late, play them at their own game. Arrive precisely on time, leave precisely on time, and not a single thing done outside of work hours.

What industry is this?

and why on earth should your Flatmate put your tea in the oven?! No offence but how about you get off your butt and put it in yourself?

The cheek!!

Sorry my flatmate was literally in the kitchen and suggested turning the oven off. I asked if they could possibly put my food in the oven from the counter. I regularly cook them meals - it was a favour

It’s the financial industry

The your actions need to speak louder than words -

Dont cook for the flatware and tell her why! Sorry make your own.

Work your hours - see how long it takes them to notice.

So you work from 9am until the early hours of the morning on a regular basis?
That's a 16 hour work day.

How is that even possible? Sleep, showering, commute, cooking etc etc.

Do you and your house mate have a contract? Like in tbbt with sheldon? Sorry you’ve had a bad day. But you shouldn’t take it out on your mate and you definitely should expect them to cook for you

Because friends help each other out.

Absolutely , she should have helped you. She was there and you were obviously shattered and working.

Leave work at 5 mins past 5 or official finish time for the next week. Cheerfully say to manager as you go ‘fyi I worked 5 mins late in case I’m a couple mins late in the morning’ I am in fs and regularly work long hours but I expect gratitude and appreciation from my management and I get it or I wouldn’t do fuck 😁

Why are you working such crazy hours? Especially since it isn’t even appreciated.

as for your flatmate, maybe she’s a cow, maybe she was simply in a bad mood. Or is it possible that your burning the midnight oil disturbs her sleep?

Whatever is going on, only you can change it.

This

Explain to your manager that you won't be contactable after leaving the office as you want to make sure you get a good nights sleep so you're in on time in the morning and stick to it.

If it's raised as an issue, explain that you were working until 1/2am previously but were told the priority is to be in on time in the morning, so that's what you're making sure you do.

I understand the need to work outside of contracted hours regularly. Happens a lot in my industry too. For instance I have to take my work laptop on holiday with me. But, I’d expect a bit of give and take.

I once had a manager who bemoaned I was about 10 mins late in the office due to the motorway being closed because my contract said I had to start at 9am. And ‘9am means 9am’ The previous evening I’d stayed worked until midnight.

So I told them that if 9am meant 9am, then 5pm meant 5pm.

You work exactly to your contract. Not a smidgen more. No favours.