Historic Child Sex Abuse

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AIBU to report an historic child sex crime that the now adult (29F) victim has chosen not to report? They have considered it many times but have not worked up the courage.

If someone could still be at risk then yes I would act on the information I'd been provided due to a duty to protect others, if not I'd give consideration to how a victim of abuse who had power and control removed during the abuse would feel if I was to take the one thing they can control out of their hands

It's a very personal decision but it's all part of the jigsaw that forms a conviction. You never know who else has already reported.

Right, before I type my reply, I just want to say that I am 34, was abused as a child and I’ve only just in the past 12months been able to think talking about it. It’s trauma on a level that’s beyond description. If the person you know hasn’t reported it themselves it’s could be exceptionally damaging if you take matters into your own hands.
There will be a very valid reason why they have struggled to report. It may be that the situation is much darker than you know, or even they know. The absolute best thing you can do is be there to listen. Don’t ask questions or pry, let them say what they need to, when they need to.
The only occasion I would ever report without consent is if there is an immediate danger to life.

You would be very unreasonable.

@Bigpinktrain That was my thinking. I have been there for them whenever they need me and told them that I will support them in whatever they want to do which is why I have just say back and let them lead the way.

I also have no reason to believe that this person has ever reoffended. I would hate to put the victim in such a vulnerable position before they are ready, but there's always that thing in the back of my mind that says, 'what if...'.

@TaRaDeBumDeAy Thank you. It does not feel reasonable to me either. It is not my story to tell. I do worry about other victims though.

I wouldn’t
I was abused as a child and now I’m nearly 60 would still not report
the person is still alive but I know there is no risk to anyone

You are way overstepping the line here.

To secure a conviction you need the cooperation of the victim not your 3rd hand information.

By reporting this police will then make contact and, of course ask questions/offer support...this would no doubt be highly traumatic and highly unfair.

Stay out of it.

What would be your reason for reporting it, and what would be the impact on the victim when she’s contacted by the police investigating something she chose not to disclose.

Best case scenario she tells them she lied and their investigation goes no further, worst case scenario doesn’t bear thinking about. I know for me it would be the end of the friendship- I’d never get over the breach of trust.

@PizzaPastaWine I used AIBU but it might be more accurate to say WIBU. You're right. It is not my place.

@Jellycatspyjamas I was worried about other offenses. I know nothing about child sex offenders, that's why I'm here asking.

@Jellycatspyjamas I will add that this is not a friend, as such, this is a friend's daughter who says my exhusband abused her. She is 29 now, he is 50.