Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Weddings abroad

11 replies

Orangesandlemons77 · 23/02/2023 18:21

A relative is getting married abroad- quite a long way away.

it's going to cost about 5K to go with flights and accomodation.

I don't think we can afford it.

It would be good if they could have another ceremony here in the UK (can they do that?)

It's also a lot of expense and a long flight for elderly family members

AIBU about expecting people to go to weddings abroad?

OP posts:

Whammyyammy · 23/02/2023 18:24

Their wedding -,their choice.

Attend/don't attend - your choice.

I've attended some weddings abroad, and made it a holiday by staying for 2 weeks

I've also declined weddings abroad.

mnahmnah · 23/02/2023 18:26

I only voted YABU, because you said ‘expected to go’. But can’t imagine the bride and groom ‘expect’ people to spend that money. They invite to be polite I would say with weddings abroad. It’s usually a way to avoid a big wedding.

Do correct me if I am wrong though! If you are actually expected to attend, then they are being unreasonable for sure!

BGL23 · 23/02/2023 18:56

I generally think that having a destination wedding is a way to trim down the guest list anyway. If people are having one and expect people to spend loads of money and annual leave on their wedding, they're being unreasonable.

Cocopogo · 23/02/2023 18:58

I think people get married abroad and invite people not to upset anyone but actually hope no one can go otherwise if they actually wanted people there they’d get married in the U.K.

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 23/02/2023 19:00

YABU - it's their wedding, they can do what they want. How judgemental and mean spirited. It's for them, not everyone else

JenniferBarkley · 23/02/2023 19:02

I think a wedding abroad is fine (I have one) but expectations on people to attend aren't.

Wish them well, show an interest etc, what a shame you can't make it, you can't wait to see the photos and hear all about it.

Don't ask for a ceremony here - they are getting married on their wedding day, it's not a drama to recreate for those who can't travel.

Luoisa · 23/02/2023 19:05

Up to them. Can't afford it don't go. That's the risk people take getting married abroad, they know people might not be able to make it.

Emmamoo89 · 23/02/2023 19:07

Yabu

Penguinsaregreat · 23/02/2023 19:07

I got married abroad and loved it, it absolutely was the right decision.
Either go or don’t go. It’s their choice. However they don’t need to have a wedding here as well that is their choice too. Some people do have a ‘do’ at home as well.

RampantIvy · 23/02/2023 19:09

Just decline the invitation

AuntieMarys · 23/02/2023 19:09

I've told my dc if they marry abroad, I won't be there. It's a load of wank.

Flip