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Original poster

to expect parents to have life insurance as a matter of course?

313 replies

probablyoverinsured · 23/02/2023 10:59

Is it not the first thing you think about when you first hold your newborn? How can I best care for this little one? What do I need to do/sacrifice to ensure their welfare? in any circumstances?

I appreciate you can't be insured for every eventuality, and with the best will in the world, you can think you have taken out adequate insurance, and in the event it doesn't actually pay out for some reason or other.

But it's about £2 a week, in most cases - surely this is factored into the cost of providing for a child, when you do your calculations? I expect there are a few that can't afford it, but most can.

I am just amazed to hear of someone recently, really struggling, with no life insurance payout for the children, because there was no policy.

Am I living in a fool's paradise? Don't most parents have life insurance? Am I just showing my ignorance? Why wouldn't a parent have life insurance? Do you? if not, why not?

OP posts:
bonzaitree · 23/02/2023 12:21

No DC but I have life insurance through my job. I think the policy is worth over £260,000 and it’s in my partners name. If I died at least he could pay off the mortgage 🤷‍♀️

TedMullins · 23/02/2023 12:22

Many people aren’t eligible. Mental health issues, sometimes even managed, medicated and long-ago ones, will disqualify you, as can many other diagnoses. I have a mortgage and I don’t have any life insurance or critical illness cover because no one will cover me.

Maraudingmarauders · 23/02/2023 12:22

probablyoverinsured · 23/02/2023 11:07

yes, I agree that in an ideal world, Critical illness cover is good to have too, but again, I think it comes attached to most mortgage agreements.

Of course, the difference is, some one unable to work will still be bringing in an income based on benefits, where as a deceased parent sadly won't

Show quote history

It really doesnt these days. The only insurance you are required to have on taking out a mortgage is buildings insurance. Our IFA recommended a policy to us, which we took. We pay circa £120 a month for a decreasing life insurance and critical illness cover, though I'm not covered for lifelong disability due to a pre-existing condition.
I agree it's very important, and I can't believe we didn't have it for a few years after buying our first house (we only took out the policy when we did our first mortgage renewal) but £120 a month isn't chicken feed!

Maverickess · 23/02/2023 12:23

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/02/2023 12:16

I think its like with most things in life, those people who need it most are in the least able position to have it.

Brilliantly summarised.

I'm another who can't get LI or CI because of various health conditions - ones that will almost certainly lead to me not making old bones, but I hope I can hang on until my DS is an adult.

Do you know how good it makes people feel to know that no insurer considers their life worth insuring, essentially because of the reason you are far more likely to need the insurance?

And then, on top of that, being told that you are irresponsible, stupid, reckless, not a loving, caring parent, add whatever other insults you like - it's not the nicest feeling to be had. Not just on threads like this, but the annual mailshots that turn on the emotional blackmail and stress the 'come on, it's time to be a GOOD parent now' message from companies that would instantly change their mind and turn me down point blank if I applied and they saw my medical record. They would then doubtless take me straight off their mailing list - not because of any compassion for me, but to save themselves a few quid in wasted printing and postage, of course.

Where does that leave us, then? What's the point in challenging attitudes like that? All that people can do is backtrack and say "Oh, I didn't mean YOU!" as if that makes it better. As PP said, disabled people are parents too; I shouldn't have to point it out, but we're also people too - and we love our kids just as much as able-bodied, fully healthy parents do.

Likewise with very poor people (even if able-bodied and healthy) who get the same criticism levelled at them. It's the same when it comes to pensions - how utterly stupid you must be if you want to put food on the table and shoes on your kids' feet now rather than store your pitiful funds away for a tomorrow that may never come.

By all means publicise it to those who may qualify and be interested/able to afford it; but enough already with the presumptuous, unthinking, uncaring, ableist, poor-bashing, sneery attitudes that come from a position of privilege - blaming and shaming people for 'making the choice' not to do something that they simply cannot possibly do.

Great post.

Thatsnotmybee · 23/02/2023 12:23

I know someone who died in his 30s leaving a wife and 2 children. He couldn't get life insurance due to his very complicated medical history. Don't assume it's available to everyone.

xogossipgirlxo · 23/02/2023 12:23

I bought life insurance shortly before covid. We're expecting first baby now, so I might look if we need some changes in policy. I actually forgot about it, thanks for reminding me.

gingercat02 · 23/02/2023 12:25

Ours was £43 com 20years ago. Both healthy non smokers on our early 30's.
It has just paid out as DH had a heart attack so I'm very glad we had it!
It is a lot of money for most people not less than £10 per month

lummsnet · 23/02/2023 12:25

So I haven't provided the best care for my children.

I haven't done something I needed to do to ensure their welfare.

I haven't sacrificed enough.

Because I'm disabled and can't get life insurance.

Seriously what the fuck. How is this ok to say this on a thread?

saraclara · 23/02/2023 12:25

My late husband and I went and sorted out life insurance when I was pregnant. We already had one with critical illness cover attached to our mortgage, but that was all it covered.
When we started a family we realised that if one of us died, the other would have far more to worry about than just the cost of the mortgage, so we took out an extra joint life insurance.

We had reason to be very grateful for both the critical illness cover and the life insurance. When my DH could no longer work, it helped ease his anxiety about not providing for us, and when he knew he was dying, knowing that the girls and I would be financially okay was also a reassurance to him.

So yes, when my adult children were taking on mortgages and starting a family, I checked with them that they'd sorted out insurances.

OnlyFannys · 23/02/2023 12:25

Mine is about £6 per month, I'm asthmatic but no other health conditions and no serious illnesses run in my family. I got mine when DS was born when I was 28 and I'm now 36. From what I'm reading here I'm glad I got it back then! Mine doesn't include critical illness but I pay for that separately through work and get a death in service payment as well of 3x salary so overall i think I am reasonably well covered

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 23/02/2023 12:26

Yes we have it.
already had it as it’s been a condition of every mortgage we’ve had…. enough to cover mortgage and some extra.
if we hadn’t then I’d have 100% taken some out when Dd was born.

but if people can’t afford to eat….. it’s not always that straightforward.

Mummyboy1 · 23/02/2023 12:26

I constantly think about life insurance, I'm a single parent so fully aware of needing to leave money behind for my son/ for my friend who'll have him. However with a difficult upbringing I tried to take my life (18 years old) and most wont give me cover. I would never do anything now but it doesn't matter.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 23/02/2023 12:27

lummsnet · 23/02/2023 12:25

So I haven't provided the best care for my children.

I haven't done something I needed to do to ensure their welfare.

I haven't sacrificed enough.

Because I'm disabled and can't get life insurance.

Seriously what the fuck. How is this ok to say this on a thread?

Because mumsnet is an extremely abelist place with users who excuse both abelism and disablism constantly. MNHQ don't give a shiny shit.

mrsbyers · 23/02/2023 12:27

Life insurance for me would be about £350 a month due to chronic illnesses - I have death in service which is enough

Makemetry · 23/02/2023 12:27

I was told I had to take life insurance to the balance of the mortgage 10 years ago. HSBC.

lummsnet · 23/02/2023 12:28

@AllThingsServeTheBeam I'm really upset.

This thread is disgusting

I'm a fucking good parent and I did and do the right thing for my kids every bloody day.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 23/02/2023 12:28

Makemetry · 23/02/2023 12:27

I was told I had to take life insurance to the balance of the mortgage 10 years ago. HSBC.

And what happened if you didn't? Did they ask for proof? We were told it would be preferred, we said we would and never did.

They asked for proof of home insurance

Catspyjamas17 · 23/02/2023 12:29

I've got it - £12 a month aged 47. If you have death in service benefits at work you may not need it if you just want to pay off the mortgage. Mine is just the diminishing "pay off the mortgage" type and I took it out when I no longer had a job which provided death in service benefit.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 23/02/2023 12:29

We could afford it but both have death in service cover so not sure why we’d need it. DH is the main breadwinner but his payout would be enough to clear the mortgage and leave some over. He also has a sizeable pension which I’d get a proportion of if he passed away. My payout would be smaller but would still give him a financial buffer to pay down mortgage or pay for more childcare. Not sure what insurance would add here. Am I missing something?

ladykale · 23/02/2023 12:30

probablyoverinsured · 23/02/2023 10:59

Is it not the first thing you think about when you first hold your newborn? How can I best care for this little one? What do I need to do/sacrifice to ensure their welfare? in any circumstances?

I appreciate you can't be insured for every eventuality, and with the best will in the world, you can think you have taken out adequate insurance, and in the event it doesn't actually pay out for some reason or other.

But it's about £2 a week, in most cases - surely this is factored into the cost of providing for a child, when you do your calculations? I expect there are a few that can't afford it, but most can.

I am just amazed to hear of someone recently, really struggling, with no life insurance payout for the children, because there was no policy.

Am I living in a fool's paradise? Don't most parents have life insurance? Am I just showing my ignorance? Why wouldn't a parent have life insurance? Do you? if not, why not?

If £2/week it likely has so many exclusions that it's probably not going to cover most scenarios that you need it to!

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/02/2023 12:30

You are so naive OP to think its £2 per week.

I pay nearly £200 a month ( and no never smoked) but as a parent of dc with additional needs and no other family I feel I have little choice.

Can you not understand everyones circumstances are different?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 23/02/2023 12:30

lummsnet · 23/02/2023 12:28

@AllThingsServeTheBeam I'm really upset.

This thread is disgusting

I'm a fucking good parent and I did and do the right thing for my kids every bloody day.

Ignore them. The dense folk posting shit like that only have enough brain space for what's happening in their own lives. They can't open up enough to think there are people who live with other circumstances

saraclara · 23/02/2023 12:30

Having been unable to get travel insurance because of a condition, I have every sympathy with those of you unable to get life insurance. It must be incredibly frustrating and worrying.

One DD's partner has recently been discovered to have a condition that will probably make life insurance impossible or expensive/restrictive. He's only early 30s so probably thought he had plenty of time to get insurance 'later'. Now he possibly can't - just at the point that they will be taking on a mortgage together.

VeggieSalsa · 23/02/2023 12:30

Me and my husband both pay less than £2 a week, for those saying it’s more expensive. We each pay around £7 per month for £150k cover (no kids, to pay our half of mortgage).

We did take out on our 20s, my husband has minor health issues and I have a clean bill of health.

Critical illness is more expensive (£40-£50 per month each).

Catspyjamas17 · 23/02/2023 12:32

Making wills and letters of wishes - having a discussion first about who would look after children if you passed away - is also a very good idea. We finally got round to it when I turned 40.