DS dad not taking him to class

[Springawakenings]

Paid for my DS who's 6 to have 4 skiing lessons. 1 per week. He goes to his dad's every other weekend. I've been every week because I want to support him and his dad has taken him once. It was an effort to get his dad to bring him to skiing and my son started saying he didn't want to go anymore and it wasn't the hobby for him which he hadn't said before.

This weekend is the last session and it's his dad's turn to bring him. My son last week was so happy that he ticked off loads of skills on his card and has said he wants to complete the card. His dad has now said he's not taking him and they are now going out for the day with his family (this normally never happens).

AIBU to be really annoyed. His dad is so self centred in everything he does. He's promised our son so much in the past and never followed through. He was abusive to me and that's why I left. He's just a bully and I think he's put in our sons head about not doing it as its an inconvenience to him to take him.

What do I do?

Yes it difficult as well because he's agreed to them and then taken them away

This is one of the hardest things about split parenting (note, not "co-parenting" h that can only happen if BOTH parties want to put the kids first and it's so often the case that NRPs get used to their own freedom and won't prioritise things like this). As you've agreed in advance, he is being an arse and there isn't really much you can do other than ask the ski place for a separate make up session and swallow the cost if you can.

For those saying just don't do any other weekend hobbies..that's not really realistic is it.? Any sports club will have matches or competition on a weekend, and drama will have rehearsals and performances. Should kids of divorced parents never do these things? I don't know what the answer is, beyond getting to a point where the child can vote with their feet.

Calmly ask if it would be OK for you to take ds and then drop him back.

I would say you are right to be annoyed with ds dad, I would be to, however, you can't say what your ds does when he's with his dad. So dad has every right to say this. Not saying I wouldn't be extremely annoyed in your situation I would be.

It might help to reframe it in your mind. Lots of kids can't do weekend sports because their parents don't drive or it conflicts with another siblings activities or a new baby is born. It's just part of life. All you can do is find opportunities for him that don't need to be continuously attended or where you don't mind him missing some lessons. Your DS will still have a lovely childhood. I do, however, feel your pain and frustration! The less you have to coordinate the better really.