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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make my children share a room

43 replies

Squishsquashh · 22/02/2023 22:02

I live in a council house. I have been bidding for 3 years for a bigger place. I have two children one girl teen one boy who is a toddler.
My house is in desperate need of refreshing but ive held off as I wanted to keep the money towards the new house. This is looking less and less likely as time goes on.

Currently my daughter has the big room, her brother was in his cot with me in my room. He has grown out of his cot, and needs a bed. I have spoken to my daughter and she said she wouldnt mind sharing a room but i know teenagers need their space.

Do i refresh my house knowing I could move from anytime now until forever.
Do i move the kids in together? In bunk beds? The room is not big enough to separate. I have also thought about giving up the living room or buying a sofa bed but I dont know how good they are to sleep on long term. Am i being selfish? I just dont know the best thing to do. What would any of you do?

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 22/02/2023 22:55

Squishsquashh · 22/02/2023 22:13

I would keep him in with me except his dad also sleeps in the bed. He’s 3 and grown out of his cot. It’s uncomfortable in a tiny room with a toddler. I would much rather sleep in the living room than continue to share beds with him!

Also the work needed doing to the house is just a secondary thought. If everyone moved rooms etc they would need redecorating. We’re just in limbo at the moment

I think that moving to a sofa bed is the sensible option.

Squishsquashh · 23/02/2023 19:05

I’ve decided to give them each their own rooms. And section off a bit in the living room for my bed with maybe a curtain or a nice room divider. I’ve been on the internet all evening looking at ideas. Knowing my luck i will do all this then get a house

OP posts:
littlemousebigcheese · 23/02/2023 19:14

Ok but suddenly there's a guy there?! So you need a bedroom for the pair of you then? It's not just you on a sofa bed? I would divide the big room in two, one for each child and you have the smaller?

Squishsquashh · 23/02/2023 19:15

My living room is big enough to section off and put a bed in. The bigger bedroom isnt big enough to section for them both.

OP posts:
Itisbetter · 23/02/2023 19:17

Kallax from ikea are good as dividers.

mrsm43s · 23/02/2023 19:34

Squishsquashh · 23/02/2023 19:15

My living room is big enough to section off and put a bed in. The bigger bedroom isnt big enough to section for them both.

If you're in a maisonette, all the rooms are on the same floor, no?

So the biggest room (currently the lounge) gets sectioned into two rooms for the two children, so they have their own space.

The second biggest room (currently the biggest bedroom) becomes the living room.

You stay in the smallest bedroom as currently.

Squishsquashh · 23/02/2023 19:43

No i have an upstairs

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 23/02/2023 19:49

gamerchick · 22/02/2023 22:08

Tart it up and do an exchange with someone?

It's incredibly difficult to go from a two to a 3 bedhouse. That's the most requested swap. You could be lucky if you're prepared to move out of area or have something exceptional to offer

Nimbostratus100 · 23/02/2023 19:49

Whish is the biggest room in the house? Divide that one in two for the children. next biggest becomes living room, and smallest is double bedroom for you and partner

Silvergone · 23/02/2023 19:50

JaninaDuszejko · 22/02/2023 22:09

I think since your daughter is OK with it the children sharing the room is by far and away the best option. My DDs share even though we have a 4 bed house. Not sure why peoole are so anti children sharing.

Because once children hit their very early teens they’re doing stuff in their bed that their siblings shouldn’t be aware of, that’s why.

OP I’d suggest you keep your son in your room until he’s age 3-4 so your daughter has privacy. If you’re currently in a double bed consider having a single so son can have single on other side of room.

Silvergone · 23/02/2023 19:51

On sorey I missed the update where you said his dad is there, I’d thought you were single.

I guess then they share but with some kind of room divider.

RuthW · 23/02/2023 20:08

How old is the teen? I think that makes a difference.

I wouldn't put them together. Either you have the big room and keep the toddler with you or put a temporary partition up in the big room for both of them. Bunk beds are not for teens.

Squishsquashh · 23/02/2023 20:11

Thanks for the opinions etc. i feel its best give them their own rooms as who knows how long we will be here. I will section off my living room and put my bed in. Keep my clothes and everything upstairs

OP posts:
Btjdkfnn · 23/02/2023 20:15

I would have no furniture at all in your bedroom other than your bed and a toddler bed for him. You could probably fit it if you don't have bed side tables, especially if you get a narrow toddler bed from ikea.

Btjdkfnn · 23/02/2023 20:16

If you have a double bed, you could change it to a 4ft wide small double bed to create more space in bedroom?

Squishsquashh · 23/02/2023 20:23

I have nothing in my room, apart from my bed and his cot which he’s too big for. I have built in wardrobes where i store my clothes.

I feel like i’m going to be here for a while so trying to think of long term solutions

OP posts:
ZiriForEver · 23/02/2023 20:38

I don't see a working long-term solution where adults can't close the door behind them. Doesn't matter whether your partner lives with you or visits, you matter as well.

Put them both to the bigger room (with some divider or highbed with curtains for DD so she has some privacy). Work with the bigger room in the vertical sense .
As added advantage, you would have to pay only for the new high bed for DD, everything else remains as it is.

MrNook · 23/02/2023 20:42

Squishsquashh · 23/02/2023 20:23

I have nothing in my room, apart from my bed and his cot which he’s too big for. I have built in wardrobes where i store my clothes.

I feel like i’m going to be here for a while so trying to think of long term solutions

Could you not just swap his cot for a toddler bed?

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