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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my manager I'm not coming into the office tomorrow?

36 replies

dreamaa · 22/02/2023 12:33

I have a new manager and find them difficult to judge, and I'm junior for context. At work there are no compulsory office days, but we are expected in 1-2 times week and if there are any face-to-face meetings.

I'm due to go in tomorrow for a face-to-face department meeting. They have said they want people in the office for it for team building reasons (although there is a Zoom link for it) etc. I told my manager I would be in tomorrow for it, but have since come down ill but well enough to WFH. I am also supposed to have a quick meeting with my manager in person as it's the first time we would meet in person (they work remotely 99% of the time).

I know I'm overthinking this as they are a new manager and I want to make a good first impression, but WIBU to email them this afternoon to say I won't be in the office tomorrow and can we change our meeting to a Zoom call?

My old manager was super relaxed and wouldn't have cared, but I can't judge how my new manager will react.

OP posts:
SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 12:34

Surely you would discuss with them rather than "tell them"

TimeForTeaAndG · 22/02/2023 12:35

I think as it's an illness issue rather than just not wanting to go in then I'd email, explain the situation and offer either by zoom or go in another day.

Chickenly · 22/02/2023 12:40

It depends on the nature of the illness but how do you know you’ll be well enough to WFH but not well enough to go in tomorrow? Is it a recurring or chronic considering? Are they already aware of it? I’d make the effort to go in to be honest.

thecatsthecats · 22/02/2023 12:43

Hmm, I wouldn't be pulling out the "can I come via Zoom" card on this one. You can't team build remotely. You will, in fact, undermine the whole thing by pulling focus out of the room.

So either go or don't.

Amispringy · 22/02/2023 12:44

SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 12:34

Surely you would discuss with them rather than "tell them"

Well quite.

Not the best way to go OP. It would get my back up

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 22/02/2023 12:46

Yeah it’s not a good look.

user1492757084 · 22/02/2023 12:46

No one wants your illness. If it could be contageous stay at home and explain as early as you can out of respect for the other workers' plans.

If not an illness that you might pass on then I would try to attend as you agreed and do your best to be a contributing team member.

Original poster
dreamaa · 22/02/2023 12:47

It's COVID (sorry thought I had written that in the OP). I'm not sure what the rules are, I think we can technically go in with COVID

OP posts:
thisplaceisweird · 22/02/2023 12:52

I think you should give your manager a heads up today that you aren't feeling well and you may need to wfh tomorrow, and that you'll let them know by 8.30am (or whatever your policy is) whether you'll be in or not.

If you're ill, you're ill. I personally would suck it up and then excuse yourself to go home after the meetings, but if you're genuinely unwell, just stay home. Maybe even have a sick day.

thisplaceisweird · 22/02/2023 12:52

Oh that changes things. If you tested positive for COVID i don't think you should be going in at all.

ItWillBeDone · 22/02/2023 12:55

I definitely don't think you should go in with covid. If your boss thinks otherwise they should look at the NHS guidelines. I suspect most people who have had symptomatic covid would welcome you staying at home. And anyone who is vulnerable or has vulnerable friends or family.

DramaLlama20 · 22/02/2023 12:57

Well that was a dripfeed. Of course you don't go in but you speak to your manager today to discuss it and explain.

Oblomov23 · 22/02/2023 13:00

What? What a wierd way to view things. You email / text/ WhatsApp/ call / whatever, explain ill, covid, and ask if it's ok to wfh.

Witsendwilly · 22/02/2023 13:00

Our work would expect you in unless you are displaying symptoms and are really I’ll.

Phone then and ask.

Why did you test by the way? Honestly “COVID” is the default easy way to get out of anything face to face these days so I would be careful about pulling that card unless there is a good reason for testing or it’s work policy.

CaramelMach · 22/02/2023 13:02

No one will want you in with Covid surely !?

ShimmeringShirts · 22/02/2023 13:02

How do you know it’s covid, where did you get a test from? (Not doubting you! But all the testing facilities are closed in my area, you can’t book or order/buy LFT anymore and I don’t understand how anyone’s managing to test! I have OCD and it really bloody bothers me I can’t get hold of any tests anymore).

Singleandproud · 22/02/2023 13:03

Surely you email your manager today, say you have covid, don't want to make anyone else ill and feel rough (in which case any good manager will wish you well and tell you not to worry about the meeting). You can say if you feel upto it you don't mind joining by zoom if that's OK.

Or you just ring in sick and take the day off.

BreviloquentBastard · 22/02/2023 13:03

Email or Teams or whatever your manager

"Hey John/Jane, I just wanted to let you know I've just tested positive for COVID. What would you like me to do with regards to meetings tomorrow, would it be best for me to WFH and attend remotely?"

99% they'll say yes stay home, attend via Zoom or whatever, but you should definitely ask rather than telling.

Singleandproud · 22/02/2023 13:05

@ShimmeringShirts are you sure no one sells tests in your area? Even my corner One Stop has them in stock as do local supermarkets and pharmacies in my area.

SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 13:07

ShimmeringShirts · 22/02/2023 13:02

How do you know it’s covid, where did you get a test from? (Not doubting you! But all the testing facilities are closed in my area, you can’t book or order/buy LFT anymore and I don’t understand how anyone’s managing to test! I have OCD and it really bloody bothers me I can’t get hold of any tests anymore).

I have a condition that puts me at v high risk so I can still order the tests for free online and so our family can still test (as i would need anti virals urgently if I test positive)

ShimmeringShirts · 22/02/2023 13:11

@Singleandproud positive, our local pharmacy used to sell them but now have a sign up saying they don’t stock them anymore. None in any of the local shops and there’s never been any in supermarkets where I am either, it was only the pharmacy. We used to have the drop in testing centres but they cleared off half way through last year. In Scotland if that makes a difference, not sure if it’s the same all across the U.K.

AdInfinitum12 · 22/02/2023 13:11

ShimmeringShirts · 22/02/2023 13:02

How do you know it’s covid, where did you get a test from? (Not doubting you! But all the testing facilities are closed in my area, you can’t book or order/buy LFT anymore and I don’t understand how anyone’s managing to test! I have OCD and it really bloody bothers me I can’t get hold of any tests anymore).

You just buy them. Even Aldi sells them for around a fiver for four tests.

Haffdonga · 22/02/2023 13:12

Well I sat in a meeting all day yesterday with a colleague who has just announced today she has covid. Tbh it's really pissed me off that she came in when she (now) says she didnt feel good. Many of the people in that meeting have vulnerable contacts who should avoid covid. If I was your new manager I'd thank you for not coming in .
And we still have lft tests at work and home and they are easy to buy.

BlueHeelers · 22/02/2023 13:17

Can you frame it as a regard for others if you're ill - you don't want to pass whatever you've got (this nasty cold bug going around, I'm assuming) to the rest of the team?

Make it a caring for the team thing, not a "I'm not coming in"

Frankly I'd appreciate colleagues not breathing virus-infected breath over me, or coughing or sneezing in my presence. A cold can make me very ill.

Womencanlift · 22/02/2023 13:17

ShimmeringShirts · 22/02/2023 13:02

How do you know it’s covid, where did you get a test from? (Not doubting you! But all the testing facilities are closed in my area, you can’t book or order/buy LFT anymore and I don’t understand how anyone’s managing to test! I have OCD and it really bloody bothers me I can’t get hold of any tests anymore).

I still have a cupboard full. Our work gave them out freely for ages and I took a box each time I was in. I have a close family member going through chemo so always want to be sure before visiting them, even now

In fact I dropped a box off to a friend yesterday who has felt rotten for over a week but she text me last night to say she was negative

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