AIBU? Taking Mat Leave at 30 weeks? Or am I weak? Please help!

[Rainbowgal]

I’m currently due to go on maternity leave at 36 weeks. Would I be silly to see if work will bring my leave early to 30/31 weeks due to mental health? Have you done this?

Quick backstory
Currently 29 weeks pregnant with first baby.
Suffered a twin miscarriage last year and a previous loss before that (years before) had awful complications and was in and out of hospital for months (failed miscarriage treatment, hemorrhages etc)

I’m struggling really bad to the point I cry daily at work or on way home. Struggling with worrying about baby constantly and I hardly sleep. Being seen by mental health midwife team but they’ve told me they can’t see me or start treatment for 3+ months

This morning I pulled over on way to work and just felt I couldn’t do this anymore, had some bad thoughts.

Worried I’ll be worse sitting at home but worried I’ll get worse going to work getting up early etc trying to put on a brave face

It sounds like your mental health isn't up to being in work, and so you should be signed off sick.
Would starting ML now have an effect at the other end? Baby would be 6 months when oay stops, and 9 months when ML would end.

I started at 29 weeks (not for health reasons but because we were having nightmares with childcare for my eldest and me being off work resolved that!)

Nobody seemed to think anything of it or commented negatively. I’ve known colleagues for off quite early when they’ve had difficult pregnancies, everyone is different.

In your case though, are you sure it wouldn’t be better to go on sick leave for now and then start your mat leave at 36 weeks?

Some organisations will make you start maternity leave if you go on sick leave with a pregnancy-related illness at this point in pregnancy, so OP might not get the choice of when her mat leave begins. She should check her employee handbook (usually on an intranet these days) for her company’s conditions.

Yes, 36 weeks?

Usually you have to give sufficient notice if you want to change the date your leave starts from, so if you're already 29 weeks now then you might not have time to finish at 30/31 weeks (though your employer could use their discretion). Would it be better to explore sick leave options?

YANBU, look after yourself and take the time to rest. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot!

People make a big deal about “taking away” extra weeks at the end of mat leave with your baby but so long as you’ve got a decent amount of time I don’t think it matters that much- 3 months vs 4 months is a big difference, but 10 months vs 11 months is fairly negligible.

You are certainly not weak. We all experience pregnancy differently and have different needs.

Does anyone know if sick leave will affect the amount of maternity pay I get (will just be SMP)

She should check her employee handbook (usually on an intranet these days) for her company’s conditions.

Its not up to her company. She’s entitled to claim sick leave until 4 weeks before the baby is due (so 36 weeks). OP I would speak to the GP to get signed off sick (I was signed off at 32 weeks for SPD, I could barely walk anymore). You obviously aren’t up to being at work. I wouldn’t bring maternity leave forward as you will want it once the baby is here.

Speak to your GP, they may be able to sign you off sick. But otherwise yes it sounds like you could do with going on mat leave asap. And no you’re not weak at all!

Get signed off sick. Your maternity leave can’t legally be triggered early because of sickness until you reach 36 weeks anyway.

I’m pretty sure the qualifying weeks are quite early on OP. From about the 17th-25th week I think. I think the qualifying week is 15 weeks before baby is due (so 25th) and the period pay is calculated is the 8 weeks before that.

if you go off sick before 36 weeks even with a maternity related condition or illness you should be paid sick leave and your maternity leave will commence at 36/40. Do you get paid sick leave? If so I’d be speaking to the GP to get signed off until 36/40.
You aren’t being weak - as a midwife I am seeing very concerning increases in the number of clients with mental health concerns and no where near enough support available for them

Rather than start maternity leave could you take a week or two of sick leave to set how you feel then make a decision. A bit of time and space from work might help

Get signed off by your gp! I did and I barely worked through the whole pregnancy I think I went off at 32 weeks though officially used annual leave and sick pay towards the end. Pregnancy at that late stage is hard and I completely sympathise with you.

Go off sick.
I was supposed to start mat leave at 34 weeks but when off sick at 31 weeks as I started contracting at work.
Your mat leave qualifying weeks are over and they can't force you on mat leave until 36 weeks.
I found it boring being at home until I was induced at 39 weeks, however it was preferable to going into premature labour.

@Stelmosfire1 thank you. I do not get paid sick leave so will just be statutory sick pay. I have reached out to try and get help but there is a waiting list unfortunately

I do however have annual leave I could use so I can start annual leave at 36 weeks and go on maternity at 40.

No. Your SMP is based on the period of earnings in the 8 weeks ending with the 15th week before your EWC, so you're well past that.

Another thought-have you got any accrued holiday to take? If not your employer may let you "pull forward" the holiday you'll be accruing whilst you're on maternity leave. Some prefer that than having employees return with loads of accrued leave. Also don't forget to include bank holidays as you're entitled to take those days too.

You need to look at your work maternity leave policy. Mine had clear rules and I dont remember them exactly now but it was something like mat pay was an average of what you were earning at 26 weeks or that sick leave within 4 weeks of due date can allow workplace to trigger maternity leave.

In your case I'd check your work policy and then speak to your doctor. They will likely sign you off if they cant prescribe anything and you cannot access mental health services. But check your workplace again, some employers have employee support programmes that can help you access fast private support.

@ButtOutBobsMum has provided the correct info! Ignore my incorrect example.

You won’t be weak to go off early, you need to look after yourself but just make sure you’ve figured out the financial aspect of this before going. If getting just SSP will stress you financially, you can ask to see if there are adjustments that work can make to make things easier, depending on your work anyway but at my place of work, they give colleagues easier tasks, sometimes they remove the need for them to meet targets or work from home whilst they still get their full salary (obviously it’ll depend on what your employer is like).