To contact friend I broke up with

[Lollymop]

Nearly 8 years ago. We were friends since we were 13
always falling out
prob not a healthy relationship but we went through a lot together. I really hurt her and she really hurt me my anger has faded now and I feel like I can understand why she did what she did (she was in a controlling relationship) but I’m not sure she will understand or forgive what I did.

do I take a chance and face rejection or do I just leave it

I think the golden rule in all relationships is that you can’t go back. I never fell out with my best friend at school but we drifted apart. Twenty years later we met up and tried to rekindle the relationship but life had changed us both. Similarly, I dropped a long term friend who was a ‘user’. In lockdown she contacted me and we had a couple of nice chats on zoom but then she disappeared again. 6 months later she wanted another chat - I totally ignored the request.

I think it really depends on a lot of things. There are some people from the past I'd be open to hearing from, most I probably wouldn't as they are in the past for a reason. As long as you're going to be okay with rejection or no response, I don't think trying is wrong.

Leave the past behind you.

Only contact her if you are prepared to apologise and explain yourself to her and for her to reject your hand of friendship. You know how you feel but not how she feels. I think you would benefit from the contact but the relationship will never be the same. Don't expect too much; you might both sleep better though.