Snoring affecting an otherwise great relationship. To worry there’s no other options?

[costacoffeecups]

Been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. We have a lovely relationship, we love our time together and it’s all generally very healthy.

However, he’s always been a snorer but it’s really ramped up recently. We’re thinking of moving in together so we’re trialling staying with each other more before we rent somewhere. We stay with each other 5 nights a week. I can honestly say it’s going perfectly well apart from the snoring.

I have a really full-on job, and his snoring wakes me up at different parts of the night. The thing is, he’s now really paranoid of waking me up, so he’s now more conscious of it, and now waking himself up every time he snores rather than just sleeping through it. So we’re both waking up absolutely shattered.

He’s tried throat spray, nose spray and I’ve tried earplugs but it’s not working. We’re a very cuddly and affectionate couple so we really don’t want to sleep in different rooms.

He’s said there’s no two ways about it, he has to do something about the snoring as he really wants to live with me soon.

Is there anything we could try that we haven’t already? Thank you!

Seperate rooms. Start off in bed together then one of you goes off to spare room when about to fall asleep

Nose strips, Nasal spray. Lifestyle factors - is he overweight or smokes? How often/much does he drink alcohol?
also get an appointment with the gp. He may have some problem with his adenoids.

Excessive snoring can be a symptom, not a thing in itself, is what I mean

GP

I have been with DH for 22 years and he has always been a snorer. I have been through periods of fury, acceptance, trying to do something about it….

We did get to a point where, because he mostly snored when lying on his back, I could just touch him or even sigh, or roll over, and he would roll over without waking and stop snoring. Before this I would poke him to wake him up and sometimes he would go into another room.

Noe, he had a condition where he is uncomfortable unless he sleeps on his back and this means he wakes me up with his snoring every night, at different times as you say. To be honest the only thing I can do is take myself off to the spare room as soon as he starts, rather than lie there trying to get back to sleep. It’s a bit annoying when that happens at 5.45 like this morning as you know you only have another hour to go, but I did manage to get back to sleep.

2 things could really help - friend of mine did this, skinny fit boy who snored so loudly he could wake people in another room -

1. Mandible device - but it needs to be properly measured and created for him. Don't buy the cheapo ones off the internet as it can affect jaw and teeth. Dentists make them. or go to GP. Is he tired during the day at all? or doesn't feel properly 'rested'? A sleep clinic referral will see if he has sleep apnoa - the equipment is sent to your house usually so you wear it one night - and if he has apnoa a CPAP machine will REALLY help him. Help his health and stop the snoring. You can't snore using a CPAP.

Have you tried the squishy silicone earplugs? Foam ones don’t do anything but the silicone ones are great. The only thing that really helped me though was when DH was diagnosed with sleep apnoea and got a cpap machine

now he has, not noe he had

He needs to see a doctor, it may be sleep apnea which can be treated. My dh's snoring started mildly and got progressively worse until I had to sleep in the spare room or I was exhausted and annoyed. He was also tired because he was having episodes of not breathing throughout the night which effected his sleep, he wouldn't remember (or even realise these were happening). He uses a cpap machine now and feels so much better, it amazed him how used he'd gotten to feeling tired, now he's got more energy, feels better, can concentrate better and we can share a bed again. His regret is that he didn't get checked years earlier.

Prolific snorer, here!

A tongue retainer is what worked for me. Uncomfortable at first, but I got used to it. I also sleep on a wedge pillow. My poor husband.

www.amazon.co.uk/Snoring-Stopper-Transparent-Retainer-Breathing/dp/B08X49JT9X/ref=asc_df_B08X49JT9X/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=570501962069&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4042784380629577386&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006524&hvtargid=pla-1404219284352&psc=1

1. Does he drink alcohol? If so, stop/ severely reduce it.
2. Is he overweight? - If so, try to lose some.
3. Does he smoke? - Cut down.
4. See the GP to be referred for a sleep study.

These things will cure snoring in 90% of people.

Seperate rooms until he gets a sleep study. Dh got one, he uses a cpap now, no more snoring to listen to.

As pp said, overweight? Any excess weight, especially round chin area, will really increase snoring.
If not, check pillow setup is not causing him to sleep with a bent neck. Keep airway as straight as possible. For lots of people that means sleeping on their side.
If neither of the above apply and the snoring is really bad I'd recommend he sees the doctor to rule out any medical cause.