Is this gang thing happening in your Town Centre?

[GangsinTown]

I’m really concerned. There are gangs of young people dressed in black with hoods and caps that are frequently in our Town Centre going into McDonalds and KFC late at night trashing the place for no reason. I’m talking throwing tables and chairs, smashing windows creating as much carnage as possible.

My son works at McD’s and this has happened twice in the last month. His friend who works on the other side of town in KFC has also experienced this. It’s just happened again tonight and my son’s manager was punched in the face whilst pushing a thug out to lock the door to protect people inside. Customers are terrified asking to hide behind the counter.

He said it happens everywhere because these are young teens (under 16) who think they’re untouchable from the law because of their age, they record it on their phones then post it all over social media - mainly Tik Tok for kudos.

I’m now terrified for my son going to work. We live in a small town, it’s not a large or capital city where maybe you’d expect higher crimes rates.

How many people here remeber going to the Youth Club? Playing pool. Youth Club Discos. Watching movies. Buying drinks and snacks at a bar that didnt have alcohol or cigarettes. All crisps and hotdogs and cans of soda. For a lot of us the disco and the TV room were where we met our first girlfriends.

God I'm old. Why the F did we get rid of Youth Clubs?

It'll be an unpopular opinion, but I think it was better when underage teens drank in pubs surrounded by adults. It moderated their behaviour and the landlord made sure they were only drinking weak cider.

Hmm
I might have been one of these but I wasn't drinking weak cider
But going to the pub with your over 18 friends was about having a laugh and/or picking up boys/girls.

Youth clubs have tended to come and go IME but aren't they mostly staffed by volunteers? Even if there's more money, the fact that parents don't parent isn't going to encourage any staff.

I never went to a youth club but I had a friend living nearby who reckoned he would have ended up hanging round and causing trouble if not for the existence of the local youth club. I didn't want to go because I thought it sounded boring and required yet more hanging with people after being at school all day. Interestingly, my parents didn't want us to go because they thought it would attract troublemakers (but really I think they had other reasons).

How about reinstating funding for youth workers, youth centres, children's and youth mental health services, Sure Start, etc.

We had none of that where I grew up. What we did have was a full timetable of study and sport, and pretty strict discipline. I grew up completely free of the experience of anti-social behaviour - the culture when I moved to the UK in my twenties was pretty eye-opening and shocking.

I didn't have any of that

But I did have parents who would do the look and you wouldn't have dared be brought home by the police or found doing something because you would have been marched round there to apologise

The worst thing I did was smoking but mostly we met up, mooched around the shops, hung out chatting in the park etc

This is so wrong.

I’m wondering if McD’s will stump up for proper security and limit group sizes.

I saw a story recently where McD’s wanted to start opening all night in Christchurch, Dorset, and the locals voiced strong objection. McD’s told the council they would play classical music to deter antisocial behaviour. Pretty sad situation.

www.advertiserandtimes.co.uk/news/amp/the-naughty-liszt-new-mcdonalds-to-play-classical-music-t-9298185/

I don't think our culture is giving kids much to aspire to. It's easy for them to look at gang culture as cool and fun when there's nothing else going on in their life.

We don't push education, getting a good job, having a family, like other cultures do. We have an individualistic culture.

We don't really promote positive direction, but ideologies like gangs, incels etc are busy promoting their way of life instead.

Basically there's several strong messages to teens and sadly they're all negative ones.

Didn't that used to be called 'good parneting'?

PP mentioned vaping and asked where they get them from. In many cases, parents. If a teacher calls home to say that their child has been caught vaping the child sits there smirking in the full knowledge that their parents are happy for them to do it.

Yep...

A 16-year-old boy is in hospital with potentially life-threatening injuries after being stabbed in Worthing, Sussex.
Police were called to Liverpool Road shortly after 5.30pm on Monday, February 13.
Officers cordoned off the local McDonald's with forensics teams later being seen inside the fast food restaurant.
A 17-year-old boy and a 13-year-old boy were arrested on suspicion of conspiring to cause grievous bodily harm and remain in custody.

Our local fb group is full of parents justifying their child's awful behaviour because there's 'nothing for them to do.'
We have two leisure centres, four playgrounds including one for teens, a skate park, youth gyms, loads of clubs. Not to mention the fact that they all have the entire internet in their pocket. There's plenty for them to do. They just don't want to do anything that isn't terrorising a pensioner.

Didn't that used to be called 'good parneting'?

If I think about it, it was more society as a whole so even if there were some shite parents there was such a level of discipline in schools and in general that behaviour never got out of hand. That said, poor parenting there was culturally diffferent and probably more along the lines of being physically heavy-handed, alcohol abuse etc.

It's different there now as well. I feel like the issue is global, I keep seeing awful, upsetting footage from the US on twitter for instance.

What happened to "I'm bored" and being given stuff to do

Honestly if I had caused a problem to someone I would have dreaded my parents more than the police

That would be a failure in the parent(s) to provide a good home life, good role models, a solid moral compass, and direction in their children's lives. We used to call that lousy parenting, but it has become unspeekable to visit poor upbringing upon those responsible for raising children.

You do not abdicate your responsibility to protect and raise your child simply by sending them to school and being busy. The responsibility is entirely and wholly the responsibility of the parent(s).

At least that's my view on my responsibilities. I'd suggest that those who do not take their responsibilities well are the root cause of the problem.

No. I think the fact that we cannot discipline kids in school or in society is precisely because of all the shite mouthy parenst who will protect their kids from the consequences of their actions rather than learn to have adult conversations and acknowlegde their own failings. Mothers whos kids carry knives will not even admit they are shit parents. We have a pandemic of bad parents in society. They would rather do duck face selfies on social media than sit and read a book or contibute to the education of their children.

All these stabbings have at their root, bad people. Not a bad child per se, but a bad parent who has raised a bad child.

Totally agree - but it’s deeply unfashionable to say so.

Is MN 'woke'? As in, are you not allowed to say things that the 'woke' find offensive?

When I was at school over forty years ago now, there was a boy in my class ( we were 15 at the time ) who kicked off big time one morning during lesson when the teacher asked him to stop chatting.
He actually threw his chair at her and shouted that he was going to ' smack her up '
The next thing, his father came storming into the classroom, maybe called by the headmaster? He grabbed his son by the scruff of the neck and gave him a thrashing there and then.
We were all sat there like 😲
There was no further action taken, as in police etc.
That boy was a model pupil after that, going on to university and getting a good career.
Please don't think I'm condoning this, I'm just telling an experience.
Imagine that nowadays? That father would probably be in jail while his son terrorised the local town.

Similar to an experience I had at school.

The lad threw a chair in his second to last year of primary and was expelled from school.

That wouldn't happen now.

People say boys and girls should be treated the same, but I disagree. I would approve of a parent giving their 15yo boy a smack in front of his piers for threatening a teacher with harm. Probably saved the childs life. Or saves someone elses life.

Parents don't really give a F about their kids nowadays in many neighbourhoods. I dont know if thats because they too were raised by parents that were never educated properly or functioned as families. But it seems like a cycle they get into. To break it takes intelligence and determination in the child, and you can't teach that to children who's parents are that bad.

I think Seb makes good points though I'd treat boys and girls the same.

pp talks about good facilities in the area. It reminds me...in my previous area, about 20 years ago, I heard parents complaining their kids had nothing to do. I pointed out there were 5 sets of activities within walking distance of where we were standing having this chat, and that was just the ones I knew of, as a childfree person, there's probably more. They were not happy at having this pointed out!

shit or non existent parenting has been a problem for decades but in the current "overpopulated, more likely to carry a weapon and use drugs to get angry rather than mellow" world, it's a bigger and more visible problem.

I remember when Ken Livingstone, as Mayor, organised free travel for 16-18. Big mistake. Huge.

Sounds really tough op

Have his employer said anything about keeping him safe at work?

It happens here all the time. Videos/photos get posted to the local Facebook page and it's ALWAYS the same 12-13 year olds. There has been a recent push for the local police to deal with the persistent offenders and it does seem to have quietened down a bit. I have an almost 13 year old, who I am fairly certain would not be involved but you just never truly know do you.

Same where I live. Supposed "naice" town. Ain't no such thing.

YANBU to be concerned but unfortunately this does happen every where and has been happening for a long time. It’s not a new thing but now they have social media to record/share/encourage them