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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tailgating. Pull over or keep driving?

200 replies

Staffielove23 · 21/02/2023 22:01

I was driving on a country road this morning. It’s national speed limit so 60mph, and I drove at this speed for the straight bits slowing right down for the corners as it’s so bendy and I don’t want to end up over my line with a tractor oncoming or something like that. I had someone behind me, I think they must drive that road everyday, as they were getting right up my ass even on the bends. I mean I couldn’t even see their bumper and I had my kid in the back. So I indicated and pulled over to let them past as they were making me feel nervous. They lean on their horn and make some kind of hand gesture as they pass me. Was I being unreasonable to pull over?

OP posts:
hoochyhag · 22/02/2023 10:50

DH went on speed awareness course and this question was raised. Advice given by the officer was to reduce your speed.

Newnamedaily · 22/02/2023 10:56

I get these cu..ts all the time too!
I am newish driver and I hate when someone is so close to me at the back- literally I can even see what car it is as so close.
DH always breaks down so they would release how close they are, however I don’t do that unless the car in front suddenly breaks.
But yeah, so dangerous I literally expect them to hit me..

WhereAreMyAirpods · 22/02/2023 10:59

Survey99 · 21/02/2023 22:38

Only idiots antagonise or play about on the road with a twat driver.

You did the right thing op, dont lower yourself to their level or play dangerous games.

I know! I can't believe the number of people - who presumably do have a driving licence - posting that they'd drive super slow to make a point or teach them a lesson.

Pull in. Let them past. Or do what lorry drivers do if they can see the road ahead is clear from their higher vantage point and indicate left to let you know it's safe to overtake.

No need for the passive aggressive silly buggers games.

Silvergone · 22/02/2023 11:04

It’s the road equivalent of a stranger coming up to you in the pub or school and shoving you and saying “Wot you looking at”.

You met a man who enjoys bullying women and gets his self-esteem from exerting power over others. Whether you pulled over or didn’t, his behaviour would have been exactly the same.

I usually pull over as it’s much safer to have a shit driver asshole in front than behind, but if I don’t pull over they’ll beep and gesture anyway when they finally overtake. Got a load of abuse last week for the ‘crime’ of doing 28mph in a 30 zone.

RoomOfRequirement · 22/02/2023 11:05

Babdoc · 22/02/2023 10:41

It’s a simple matter to slow right down on a nice long straight bit to let them overtake you safely. You don’t need to pull over and stop.
I used to be on emergency call at nights and weekends to two hospitals from my home in rural Perthshire, and I would have been very angry if some driver in front had tried to force me to drive slowly out of bloodymindedness. Fortunately it only ever happened on the dual carriageway section, so I undertook them at 100mph when necessary, ie when they hogged the outside lane and wouldn’t move over despite me flashing them.

Found your tailgating driver OP.

Undertaking at 100mph? Ridiculous.

Whammyyammy · 22/02/2023 11:06

If I get tailgate I reduce my speed and keep doing so til they back off.

SinnerBoy · 22/02/2023 11:06

DownNative · Today 10:11

Brake checking is illegal, I believe....your instructor is an idiot.

Brake checking is braking hard, not just dabbing, to show the brake lights. It's usually when someone tailgates, overtakes, pulls in and slams the brakes on.

User174863988 · 22/02/2023 11:07

DH and I always pull over

SinnerBoy · 22/02/2023 11:09

I always do, where possible, but sometimes, there's no room, or no safe gap - you would have to move into somebody else's safety gap, on a dual / motorway.

HurryShadow · 22/02/2023 11:09

I would have indicated and slowed on one of the straight bits where he could overtake without having to slow down, but, in principal, getting out of their way is the sensible thing to do.

If they decide to take offense to that, then that is their problem, not yours. Just think how miserable their life must be to be that angry all the time!

The ones that piss me off are the ones on the motorway. The amount of times I pull in to the next lane to overtake someone (normally a lane hogger!) and then out of nowhere comes a car that was nowhere near visible at the start of the maneuver. I refuse to speed up to get out of their way, despite their tailgating and flashing. I will complete my overtake at the speed I choose to, then pull over when a safe distance is available in front of the overtaken car. I do sometimes find that my windscreen needs a clean when there's someone right behind me, but I concede that is me being petty.

If they then continue to act like an idiot once they're past me, I read the numberplate out loud for the purpose of my dashcam and, if really dangerous, I would have no hesitation to whizz off a report to the police. I've only reported two people - one before I had a dashcam and one after. The one after got prosecuted based on my video.

HurryShadow · 22/02/2023 11:11

I do find I get less of this tailgating nonsense since I started driving a high-powered stereotypically "man" car.

When I used to drive around in a (deceptively speedy) Peugeot 206 it used to happen all then time.

Idiotic men and their penis extensions!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/02/2023 11:13

I’ve been known to put my panic lights on - that usually makes them pull back.

Recently a massive lorry was right up my arse when I was on a slip road from a motorway. He soon overtook, but it went on long enough for me to take a note of the logistics company name and email them.

To my surprise I had a very prompt reply, apologising profusely, saying they took such things very seriously, asking for the colour of the lorry, the time and exact location of the incident.

I just hope the driver got a rocket.

HurryShadow · 22/02/2023 11:16

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/02/2023 11:13

I’ve been known to put my panic lights on - that usually makes them pull back.

Recently a massive lorry was right up my arse when I was on a slip road from a motorway. He soon overtook, but it went on long enough for me to take a note of the logistics company name and email them.

To my surprise I had a very prompt reply, apologising profusely, saying they took such things very seriously, asking for the colour of the lorry, the time and exact location of the incident.

I just hope the driver got a rocket.

Reminds me of a time I reported a van driver to their employer. Not tailgating related - quite the opposite - she was absolutely miles behind me, because everytime the traffic lights changed, or the traffic moved, she had no idea because she was too busy pouting for selfies on her phone! I too got a very quick and apologetic reply from the company and I hope she also got a bollocking.

Interesting/useful RAC Article here re tailgating.

DaveyJonesLocker · 22/02/2023 11:18

You did the right thing to pull over and let them pass. People who slow down to block people just create more road rage and accidents. Safer for you and them to let them pass

calmandcaffeinated · 22/02/2023 11:19

The way I look at it, you and the other driver are driving potentially killing machines. You wouldn't play with knives and especially not with a twat driver so definitely get them as far away from you as possible. I don't see the point of trying to have the upper hand or win, there are no winners if you both end up dead.

bellinisurge · 22/02/2023 11:20

I'd let them pass but not before I'd done a few minutes at just below the speed limit to piss them off.
Not my job to manage their rage.

DaveyJonesLocker · 22/02/2023 11:21

I once rang a company to inform them of a driver bullying a female driver, practically ramming her on the motorway. You could literally see the moment his boss rang him and ripped him a new one. He was fuming when I spoke to him.

I used to run a company connected to this field and their bosses absolutely want to know about this stuff. Always inform them when you can.

Guis · 22/02/2023 11:22

You can drive slower sometimes and people may get the message and slow down. However, if they persist, let them go. You have no idea why they are in such a rush. It could be for no good reason. But, it might. Don't moralise and finger wag, by remaining at the speed limit. It will make matters worse. If they persist, let them go.

SpringleDingle · 22/02/2023 11:24

I'd have just driven a bit slower... I certainly don't pull over for people behaving badly!

Emptycrackedcup · 22/02/2023 11:25

They were probably annoyed at you hence the gesture, pulling over was great. I'd wave you a thank you

BlueVinca · 22/02/2023 11:27

I pull over if I can. It's not always possible. If not I try and ignore them.and not let them bully me into speeding.

Pedallleur · 22/02/2023 11:29

Get them out of your bubble asap. You don't know, never met them. Let them go and forget about them

CrystalCoco · 22/02/2023 11:29

I keep at the speed that suits me (or go slower if I'm feeling vengeful) and temporarily adjust my rearview mirror so I can't see them anymore.

amusedbush · 22/02/2023 11:37

I was tailgated by a woman on my way to work this morning. I have to drive along a short stretch of country road with no markings, no real edge to pull over on (it's broken and crumbling into a ditch), blind peaks and bends, and it's barely wide enough for two cars. It's technically NSL but I've never seen a single person drive faster than 30mph on it, and you have to slow to a crawl/literally pull into a hedge to safely pass someone travelling in the opposite direction.

A woman appeared behind me and was so close, she was practically in my boot. Driving at the speed limit on that road would end in disaster but she was determined. When we came to the junction at the end of the road, I indicated right and she went to go left, didn't look properly and almost T-boned a van because she was in such a hurry to get on her way Angry

I have pulled over to let tailgaters pass before so I think you did the right thing, OP.

taxguru · 22/02/2023 11:42

Depends on where you pulled over really. Was it in a safe place, i.e. a layby? Or did you just pull over and stop in the road?

When I'm in that situation, I generally just don't accelerate away on a long/straight road after a bend, which gives the car behind the opportunity to overtake safely.

Stopping on a country road isn't a good idea!