To hate that left out feeling

[Willthiscoughneverend]

Sounds really silly I know, but some good mum friends (our kids usually go to things together) got together this weekend for an event near us and we weren’t invited. Not all our usual group were, so I knows it’s ridiculous to be bothered, but two events happened with one of my close friends, that she chose to go with others to…in years gone by, we would’ve all gone together.
Does anyone else ever get this feeling and hate it, I have to stop being so sensitive

I think it’s very common to hate this feeling. You are not overly-sensitive by feeling left out. We’ve all felt it from time to time.

But it’s still helpful to recognise that it’s unlikely you were deliberately left out. Often it’s a case of someone running into someone else just at the right time and mentioning it to one other person they saw later that day. That kind of thing.

@vincettenoir Yes, probably. Just think I’d probably say ‘Shall we invite willthiscoughneverend too…if it was me

I mean, if it was me, I would

You are not alone!

I never used to be overly bothered by such things but since I've had kids it really gets to me.

@Vintagecreamandcottagepie Me too, why do you think that is?

I totally feel your pain on this one. I have two close mum friends, the type where we are friends for each other, not for the kids. If that makes sense! Our kids are in the same class, but the other two have girls and mine is a boy. It means they often do extra stuff together with the girls, days out etc or play dates that end in them getting together for a glass of wine, that I'm not invited to. Of course the rational part of my brain understands but I've still felt stupidly left out and quite jealous a few times! It's normal, don't be too harsh on yourself. Perhaps take control and organise a few things with one or more of those friends yourself?

Everyone has felt this. It's an awful feeling

Because fundamentally humans are tribal and our chances of survival are increased if we belong to a community. Also, because being a mum is so bloody lonely.
Sorry, doesn't really help take away the feeling though.

@Swalewhale It really can be!

Very, very normal.

These feelings explain a lot of the school mum craziness imo.

I think these feelings become more pronounced after we have kids because humans have always needed their whole tribe to raise and protect our incredibly helpless, for a really long time, infants. That’s pure speculation - so any anthropologists are welcome to come along and shoot my theory down!

@Serpentine1717 That’s interesting 🤔

Because we love our kids so bloody much and it sends us a bit mad!