To be fed up of ‘weirdos’

Moonicorn · 2023-02-21T19:54:56+00:00

And feel that there are more of them than there used to be. It feels like whenever I walk through my medium sized, average town I have some kind of encounter with a weirdo (man, let’s face it) who is clearly extremely odd or on drugs. Usually talking nonsense at me or following me around a shop. I used to be of the ‘be kind’ mindset but now I just find it irritating, as well as quite threatening, especially when I have my small child with me. It always seems to be lone women, or women with buggies that they approach. AIBU?

SpudleyLass · 21/02/2023 20:09

Mental health crisis in this country, unfortunately. Not much political will to address it, either.

Original poster

Moonicorn · 22/02/2023 09:22

Feels more like a drugs problem to me! That and people not feeling any embarrassment!

OP posts:

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 22/02/2023 09:51

Oh they fuck me off too. So many utter nutters around (it's drugs not mental health issues 90% of the time). Like just stop talking to me you freaks.

UdoU · 22/02/2023 09:54

YANBU, they see women as a soft target. Funny how they can make that distinction in their confused state.

Tell them to leave you alone.

TomatoSandwiches · 22/02/2023 10:05

Moonicorn · 22/02/2023 09:22

Feels more like a drugs problem to me! That and people not feeling any embarrassment!

I don't think YABU to find this behaviour tiresome and antisocial, it very much is. However drug addiction and MH issues go hand in hand, either untreated MH issues lead to drug use or drug use leads to MH issues. It's not an excuse but a reason why and disingenuous to ignore that imo.

Lwrenagain · 22/02/2023 10:13

Sadly the drugs issue is a MH failure, I've worked with MH and drug and alcohol abuse lots over the years and I see people I know full well should have funding for support staff just wondering around my local towns off their cocks on drugs or often worse, not medicated in the way they should be.

Drugs are so often a way of self medicating, those with trauma and predisposition to addiction due to MH problems are often the "weirdos".

Also a lot of homeless vetrans who are riddled with ptsd really hit the bottle.

I also think systemic failures to help those with neurodiversity plays a huge part in this, I had an old client who'd occasionally approach me asking for money for a can of coke, my mum was with me once and her heart sank, he was a boy who attended her school who was simply referred to as "the dunce".
She remembered him dancing for the students and being tormented, but it never occurred to her at the time he was struggling with SEN/MH problems. Many of these weirdos will be people like him, who just have slipped under every net.

I know these people are intimidating, but most likely life has been very unkind to them.

This may come across as preachy, for which I'm sorry and isn't my intention, it's just a very sad time for health and social care in history x

ConfusedNT · 22/02/2023 10:22

The reason why it may seem there are more now is at least partly because mental health services are woefully underfunded

Mental health issues have been pushed towards the police to deal with, e.g. to deal with the antisocial behaviour, drug taking etc but that doesn't fix the underlying problem

Couple that with a military that's shit at supporting people who leave often with ptsd and homelessness that is increasing (and is likely to increase more with the col crisis) its very likely you are seeing and being approached by more people who are homeless/alcholics/in mental health crisis/any combination of these

It's not fair on you, it's not fair on them and a lot of people in the UK are being failed right now

stbrandonsboat · 22/02/2023 10:27

Any one of us could end up like this given certain circumstances. It's very sad. People will self medicate with drugs. I saw a homeless person in our city and the look on his face was one of pure despondency and sadness. This country is awful now and there is no support for those who fall by the wayside. I get that being followed and shouted at is annoying and even frightening, but imagine your life ending up like that. Nobody is envious of them that's for sure.

JustForThisOneTime · 22/02/2023 10:32

Moonicorn · 22/02/2023 09:22

Feels more like a drugs problem to me! That and people not feeling any embarrassment!

Op I can understand you find it disturbing. I don't like it either.

However I just wanted to say addiction is a mental health issue and these people are in need of help (mostly from the government who view their problems as self inflicted and unworthy of compassion) rather than judgment. I'm not saying you have to do anything for them but being addicted to drugs is not necessarily a moral failing.

UdoU · 22/02/2023 10:36

stbrandonsboat · 22/02/2023 10:27

Any one of us could end up like this given certain circumstances. It's very sad. People will self medicate with drugs. I saw a homeless person in our city and the look on his face was one of pure despondency and sadness. This country is awful now and there is no support for those who fall by the wayside. I get that being followed and shouted at is annoying and even frightening, but imagine your life ending up like that. Nobody is envious of them that's for sure.

None of that is OP’s problem.

It’s not OP’s job to be nice to random men.

MissWings · 22/02/2023 10:39

social Inequality is widening, therefore the effects of poverty are now quite evident in society. MH issues, substance misuse, homelessness, poor parenting, lots of lost souls. It’s all tick, tick, tick.

MsMarch · 22/02/2023 10:46

Agree with others that there are real failures to address a lot of societal issues and challenges.

But also, I do find it interesting how the people with all these mental health issues always seem to target WOMEN. Funny that. Our local coffee shop has a lovely team of young male and female staff and I sometimes work there. It's on quite a busy road and near bus stops and a train station so they seem to attract more people who have mental health or other issues than I've seen elsewhere. But it's always the FEMALE staff who are the target of their random and/or inappropriate comments.

MsMarch · 22/02/2023 10:48

In fact, I once sat there not sure what to do because I couldn't work out if the elderly gentlemen was perhaps struggling with dementia or some other problem or was just an abusive, misogynist, sexist twat and I should intervene/call the police.

Luckily, as I was agonising over it, the (male) owner came into the shop and miraculously the old guy shut up and shortly after left. I did wonder if she'd pressed an emergency button or something (the owners run a few different shops and are more often present in one of the others but are close by to the coffee shop).

Original poster

Moonicorn · 22/02/2023 10:59

Exactly, it’s always women and usually lone women or mums with young kids that they approach. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them approach a relatively scary looking bloke, ever. How disengaged can they be if they’re that careful at selecting their victims? They clearly know they’re intimidating them. They just don’t give a shit. I don’t really mean beggars I mean people who follow you, shout things at you, plonk themselves next to you on the bus and monologue in your face for the whole journey. It’s beyond annoying.

OP posts:

whattodo22222 · 22/02/2023 11:01

I also used to feel obliged to smile and be kind, but now I have my baby daughter with me IDGAF. I just want them away from me asap.

WandaWonder · 22/02/2023 11:07

Moonicorn · 22/02/2023 10:59

Exactly, it’s always women and usually lone women or mums with young kids that they approach. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them approach a relatively scary looking bloke, ever. How disengaged can they be if they’re that careful at selecting their victims? They clearly know they’re intimidating them. They just don’t give a shit. I don’t really mean beggars I mean people who follow you, shout things at you, plonk themselves next to you on the bus and monologue in your face for the whole journey. It’s beyond annoying.

I am sure there is a where only men have mental health issues, and act against the norm, or act as you describe but weirdly I live in a world and have experienced just as many women acting this way

I get 'all men are bad' seems to be the constant line but heck even on this site alone let alone others and in the every day world women can be just as 'weird'

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 22/02/2023 11:10

Mental health crisis in this country, unfortunately. Not much political will to address it, either.

Feels more like a drugs problem to me! That and people not feeling any embarrassment!

People who are addicted to drugs have MH problems.
I know that doesn't make it any easier for you to cope with getting hassled, but it's beyond naive to imagine that drug addiction is a choice made by mentally healthy people.
Nobody in good mental health suddenly decides "it's high time to start a crystal meth habit, then go out on the high street to make a nuisance of myself" ...

ConfusedNT · 22/02/2023 11:15

Moonicorn · 22/02/2023 10:59

Exactly, it’s always women and usually lone women or mums with young kids that they approach. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them approach a relatively scary looking bloke, ever. How disengaged can they be if they’re that careful at selecting their victims? They clearly know they’re intimidating them. They just don’t give a shit. I don’t really mean beggars I mean people who follow you, shout things at you, plonk themselves next to you on the bus and monologue in your face for the whole journey. It’s beyond annoying.

I think they have mental health problems, or they are alcoholics or both, but not that they are stupid. They know that men are more likely to attack them, if they are homeless they risk being attacked by men frequently

I don't think you should be expected to put up with this behaviour. I think it's another example of how underfunding of services is not improved when the impact is felt by women, or people with disabilities/medical conditions