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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell social services about child running away?

30 replies

ctp97 · 21/02/2023 18:05

DP was in a relationship with a woman from when her child was a few months old until he was 9. They got on well and DP was his father figure, he came here a few times then his mum stopped it and told SS (I'll be referring to him as that for the purpose of this thread) that DP didn't want to see him, I think he was about 12. He then started living with a family member and he started visiting once a month. Until about 18 months ago, he messaged DP and told him he wanted to live with him, DP didn't do anything as he didn't think he'd be allowed custody of him as they aren't related and he lives about 2 hours away so he wouldn't have known anyone around here and it’d mean a new school etc.

He came here about an hour ago and said he wants to speak to DP, said he's in foster care which he hates so he's come here without them knowing. I told him social services/his foster carers need to know where he is (he said they think he's with his friends) and I was going to call social services, but he got upset and said he isn't going back so he'll run away again etc. So I haven't called them yet but I'm not sure the right thing to do.

DP won't be back until 8:30 and by then his foster carers will be wondering where he is etc but if I do now he's potentially going to run away again (as he's said he will) and go somewhere unsafe, he doesn't know anyone else in this area.

Just to add, he's 15.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Blablablablablablab · 22/02/2023 06:23

you Could always agree to have him weekends only but this may not be enough?

Changing schools … yes the it could be difficult, however if he’s suicidal its best to rethink and go for an option he’s happy with. a local school to you or a local college with a 14-19 curriculum with nvqs 1 & 2. Once he’s 16 he can look at work place apprenticeships too.

ctp97 · 22/02/2023 13:06

Yes, I contacted the police in his area last night. DP is trying to call social services but he's not had any luck so far.

He's in year 10 at school, but he has mentioned bullying etc so he also isn't enjoying school.

If we did foster him longer term, there are plenty of secondary schools local but I'm not sure how easy it’d be to get him in one of those due to space etc. It is a good idea to suggest he stay in his current school then attend college in our area, but I'm not sure he'd agree

OP posts:
bellac11 · 22/02/2023 13:51

ctp97 · 22/02/2023 13:06

Yes, I contacted the police in his area last night. DP is trying to call social services but he's not had any luck so far.

He's in year 10 at school, but he has mentioned bullying etc so he also isn't enjoying school.

If we did foster him longer term, there are plenty of secondary schools local but I'm not sure how easy it’d be to get him in one of those due to space etc. It is a good idea to suggest he stay in his current school then attend college in our area, but I'm not sure he'd agree

Why didnt you call OOH last night?

Blablablablablablab · 22/02/2023 21:41

Well done OP. If he’s incredibly unhappy with his present school I would move him. He will be considered a ‘looked after child’ so will have good access to school places due to being priority.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 23/07/2023 11:58

Any update OP? I hope things are working out for you all

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