To feel sad my DC no longer want candles on cakes?

[HowToExplainRight]

I know I'm BU really, because if you stop and think about it, blowing all over a cake that someone else is going to eat is a bit revolting. It was never on my radar as a child though and birthday cake candles were an exciting treat; being sung to, blowing them out, making a wish, the scream as you cut the cake.

My DC are 10 & 13 and won't even entertain the idea of candles on their cakes. It just feels so flat.

Mine still have a cake. Youngest is 21

I remember in covid when people were sticking candles in potatos. Very sad.

Sparkler instead of candle. Then nothing to blow out

Eh yeah a bit unreasonable. You can still make it a fun and engaging event with no candles - just use different lights or sparklers.

Mine have had candles on cakes throughout -they are now in their 20s.
Screaming as you cut the cake is normal round here. It didn’t happen when I was young, but I grew up in another part of the country.

I make a cake for my FIL every year, last birthday he was 75, he had candles and blew them out. One year I put a plastic Playmobil firefighter on top with his hose aimed at the candles as there were so many, not 73 mind but I did go overboard and it was glorious.

Very sad that they don't want candles, not even the number candles? A birthday cake without candles is a bit sad. I did one with sparkling fountain but that was a celebration for end of exams. Only birthday cakes have candles. It is what makes them special.

yabu imo

they’re still young, they’ll still celebrate their birthday with you, they will still have cake and sing happy birthday etc. the majority of the tradition is intact. It’s not flat at all. I think you’re making a big deal over something minor by allowing your feelings to be hurt here.

you can still put the candles in the cake and just take them off after if you’re worried about appearances. Or light a candle after the cake has been cut so the birthday kid can blow their own candle on their slice of cake. You can make this work.

@Smoothlines phew, not just me then!

@Ithinkimthebfg It's weird. And only for cake. They think nothing of e.g. sharing a pack of popcorn between several of them when they're at the park. So I don't think they're germ phobic as such. Definitely a remnant of covid.

They will get cake and I will do sparklers. They miss out on the trying to get all the candles in one breath!

And no wishes to come true

On DH’s 50th birthday I put the candles in ring around the edge. They were less than an inch apart, and each time he got one blown out, it relit from the heat of those around it. Took forever to get them all out!

Now we just use two colours of candle and spell out the age in binary. Max 7 candles.

That’s quite bonkers OP. I suggest going to as many carveries, buffets, supermarket bakery sections and places with dessert trollies as you can before next year.

or bake and decorate a load of cupcakes and give them theirs with their candle on

We do candies for everyone any age

Yeah, the screaming when you stick the knife in for the first cut is a thing in some families. I've definitely seen a thread discussing it somewhere on the internet. Some people do it like it's the most normal thing in the world, and some people are oblivious to it like "What just happened there?". 🤷🏻‍♀️

LOL! I didn't notice that.

I must admit you DCs have a point . I used to hate when people would blow out the candles and I could see spittle fly across the cake. I couldn't eat it after that - and eating cake was my favorite part of birthday parties. 😂 I try not to watch too closely when my DD blows out the candles on her cake, if I do she would be the only one eating it cause I wouldn't be able to if I saw spit flying. lol

I've never heard of that but we used to turn boiled eggs upside down once we were finished and then bash them to let the witches 😂

I've never heard of bashing the boiled eggs but I remember as a very small child turning them upside down after I'd eaten them and telling my mum I wasn't hungry. every.single.time. I thought I was so funny, she must have been extremely bored of the joke but pretended to think it was funny each time😂

@ImAGoodPerson that's funny! Bless your Mum for going along with it every time.

Just here to add that I remember the screaming when you cut the cake thing when I was a child, I'm 39 now and had actually forgotten, I've never done it with my dcs.

I know bless her, I'm sure we've done similar with ours, its just funny when these random memories are stirred up isn't it.

I definitely have never screamed at a cake though, I feel like I've missed out!

It’s a difficult one really. I wasn’t bothered during the covid years by cake blowing; we had one of those weird covid garden get togethers for my dad in 2021. He was terminally ill and died shortly after; one of my favourite photo is him looking absolutely thrilled with himself blowing out his candles. I’m so glad that moment happened.

However, my niece (4) was snotty and ill on her birthday last year and was presented with a cake by MIL. I suddenly realised what a silly idea it is. I did not want to catch her cold from eating the cake. DH is even more uptight than me (we don’t have children), so he wasn’t for eating it either. The rest of the family were all complaining of hideous colds the following week.

The screaming must be a regional tradition. I’ve never known anyone scream at a cake!

I screamed at a cake once, but it had been made in the shape of the Sistine Chapel.

Those saying it's sad because they are "germ-phobic" - really?! It's sad for them to be well-educated, sensible individuals? And you have to say it's wrong, just because their hygiene standard appears to be higher than yours? Now that is sad.

OP, it doesn't matter. Their concern is valid, correct and scientifically sensible. Your feelings of 'missing out on candles' do not trump what they are and are not comfortable with surrounding their food.

Sparklers it is from now on. Simple.

What about 1 sparkly candle that you light up and it fizzles out. They don't blow it out.