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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take DS out of school?

9 replies

zombiegnome · 21/02/2023 13:30

DS is 6 and is a bright, well behaved boy.
In his class there is a couple of disruptive children. One is SEN (severe autism I believe) and his brother who is less than a year older seems to copy him. They run away, play up and are just generally very disruptive. I understand SEN children deserve the right to education as much as any other child, but at this school it seems to be at the detriment of the other children.
Twice now DS has been hit by them, yesterday he was kicked in the head. The child will have had shoes on and was having an 'episode' and kicked my son in the head, on purpose.
The school have said there are sanctions in place and they're dealing with it but apart from saying the school isn't suitable for them (they won't) what can they do.
This school is walking distance, the next school is around and 8 mile drive.
AIBU to take him out and switch schools?

OP posts:
UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 21/02/2023 13:32

Kicked in the head?! YANBU. I’m sorry your DS is having such a rough start to school.

zombiegnome · 21/02/2023 13:34

His little ear was bright red when he got home last night, and he has ear problems at the best of times.
The teacher said the child in question was aiming to kick someone, it wasn't an accident, and my son just happened to be the closest target. I'm so angry x

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 21/02/2023 13:34

There are badly behaved children in most schools, whether with SEN or not, so I'd focus more on what the school are doing to keep your son safe. Have you met with the head to discuss this?

Skiphopbump · 21/02/2023 13:35

In my LA there aren’t enough special school places. This leaves children, their families, peers and schools struggling.
It sounds really hard for your DS but if you are moving him to a state mainstream there’s no guarantee the same won’t happen again.

zombiegnome · 21/02/2023 13:38

No, we are doing that on Thursday as she was out at an OFSTED meeting until then (it got an 'unsatisfactory' rating'
The teacher in the class who witnessed it is is who we spoke to this morning, so she knew exactly what had happened.
I understand every school has the odd badly behaved child, there was when I was at school, but they always seemed to be dealt with quickly and wasn't particularly disruptive to learning.

OP posts:
Courtorder · 21/02/2023 13:39

Unfortunately, I don’t think you’ll get a school where there isn’t a risk of this happening. Whether it’s for SEN reasons or for any other reason, some children are violent and schools have very limited ability to do anything about it. My DS had an awful fat lip a couple of weeks ago from being hit in the face at school, on purpose by another child. I’m sorry you’re going through this though, it’s awful.

To take DS out of school?
Spendonsend · 21/02/2023 13:41

I hope your son is ok now.

I think you will find that there are children with and without SEN who behave like this in most schools so it might not help to move him if he is otherwise settled. It is fair to say that some schools are better than others at dealing with issues but its quite hard to tell which schools they are.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/02/2023 13:44

I'd put a lot of pressure on the school before moving him if otherwise content. Happened in our year group, one of the girls kept getting hurt when one of the boys, with suspected SEN, would have meltdowns. The mum kept meeting and emailing the head and questioned their safeguarding, low and behold the child was move to the SEN class that our school have,

Pinkypurplecloud · 21/02/2023 13:50

Not “is SEN”, “has SEN”.

There’s every chance of having a disruptive pupil in new school class too. Of course your child shouldn’t be hurt in school, but the blunt reality is it does sometimes happen and often it’s just not preventable within the constraints of funding and policies imposed on schools from on high. When you were at school was an entirely different world of school funding, special school provision etc.

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